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Kristen Apr 2015
It's clear to see
in dull, daily repetition
Ive grown stir crazy
eyes only seeking expedition

Adventure awaits
on the horizon and in the sky
Yet I'm home in my cage
sighing as life ticks by

I used to believe
your presence was my anchor
but lately I've come to see
that I'm the common denominator
Epiphany. I need to find a hobby.
Kristen Mar 2015
I wonder
when he says I would look beautiful
with darker hair
if hes thinking of
any of his previous lovers
Kristen Mar 2015
Theres no redemption
For those who spit venom
At least I hope not

Theres no redemption
For malicious intent
At least I hope not

Theres no redemption
For the users and abusers
The liars and cheaters
The cruel and nefarious
The self righteous and smug
The condescending and judgemental

...At least I hope not
  Mar 2015 Kristen
oh me oh my
They ask me if I still love you.

I blush, grin and say;

of course.

Why?

Because your eyes are of the most utter ocean blue,

but other days they're the currents of the stormy grey sea.

I see a current of salty water, deep, once blue, but now a faded grey.

I see a bundle of darkened grey clouds in the distance,

and the thunder rumbles from your irises,

and I hear it pound in the back of my mind.

I wonder if you knew.

I see a spark of lightening flash, only once in a while,

while you look at her.

My throat corrodes with bile.


She says she sees green demons lurking in the depth of my own ocean currents,

and I shrug.

What am I supposed to say?

I know you think about her.

Night and day.


The hardest part,

is a generic, old saying.

If you love them,

you let them go.

If they love you enough to stay,

or to come back,

you never let go.





But you haven't come back.
EDIT: Wow. Never expected this to blow up as big as it did. I thank you all so much!
EDIT: 2/15/14
i would say i never loved you, but that is a lie.
they say that your *first* love makes *you realize*, your first *love* wasnt really your first.
i pray for the day this happens.
*getting over you was the best thing i ever did.
and i did it for myself.*
so, one last:
*******.
you.***
EDIT: 9/14/14
i still hate you.
and you don't deserve her.
EDIT:   12/01/14
im sorry. you still arent
the same person
and neither is she.
but we all grow up.

EDIT
10/14/20
I was going through my bookmarks
on my old computer and found my old writings.
I just wanted to update this one last time to say things are better,
things are good. Thanks again for all the likes and comments.
Kristen Mar 2015
I am freeing myself of your cruel talks
no longer a captive to your opinions or flock
Finally independent of the chaos we spawned

But there is a twist in the truth of the surface beyond;
you are the catalyst for my actions somehow.
Like when i find *** appealing, its for the reassurance now.

i allowed you to desecrate my self-image
Never again. I'm transforming our wreckage.
But the irony in the truth is thereupon

youre what my motivation is based on.
only this time i find what you hated,
trump it for him, and trust me when i say, he loves what ive recreated.
I realize how much better things are... and I think, "Take that!"
Kristen Feb 2015
I keep scraping;
attempting to tear my way in.

Your personality is like wood...
battered, rotting wood.

Leaving fingertips ******
and my nails raking splinters.
Kristen Feb 2015
1.) Squishing fluffy flakes beneath boots on snowy grounds
2.) Curling into warm open arms for sleep or to lounge
3.) Hot breath on the back of the neck
4.) An excited dog bounding into your chest
5.) Exhausting hikes worth every heave once the summit view has been reached
6.) Frightening free falls from 13000 feet
7.) Showers. Showers. Showers.
8.) TV show marathons
9.) Comfort beyond what has ever been known
10.) A sense of normality and peace of mind
11.) Pushing to reach that top rock in time
12.) Aiming to fire for the T-Box or 10
13.) Coming home to you again
14.) Learning the geometry of pool
15.) Dancing renditions and keeping cool

I have so many reasons why I'm thankful for you.

.
I have been so thankless.

A stunning sunset and an extended family. Modern technology and financial support. Sound mind and free time. Fashionable clothes and little luxuries.
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