I found a new rush
falling from 13,000 feet in the air
My first time on a plane
free-falling after a soul
whose passion for life
proved to be as invigorating as the dive
falling from 13,000 feet in the air
I found a new rush

I am accepting your absence
A void within my bed
The chill within my hands
A gnawing loneliness in my head

Solemnly watching the days pass
In bitter, half-asssed attempt at resolution.
Twisting hair and magical despair.
The high was enough to get me here.

Now the peak has long since plummetted
Silence symbolizing the drawn out mistakes.
Friendships faded into hate.
Begrudgingly facing lonely spite
These decisions cant be hidden with another lie

I've spent my day lying in bed
Attempting to find peace for my soul.
Run thin by anxiety,
Tattered by endless hours,
Repetitive thoughts and fears
Chewing at the fabrics of my calm demeanor.
Making an unwaivering decision was never my strength.
Monumental moments...
Life altering in every aspect...
And all i can think about is the aftermath.
Yet a choice must be made
because in all honesty,
I don't think I can take this anymore.

In that moment

Mouth agape.
Teeth grazing.
Nails raking.
I swore oaths into your flesh.
Not of bows wrapped around "forever"
But
Shamefule secrets
Coy eyes revealing disguise after disguise
Pinky promises of infedelity
Avenues of a jaded mind
Alcohol induced cynical soul
Lemon twists and paper cuts
Hardened by every excruciating ***** up
And yet
In that moment
I found a second of redemption
A moments peace
And that was more than enough for me