While you’re reading this, I want you to know one thing
I know why the tears flow & why the heart sings
I know why your soul cries in the rain
I know why you look in the mirror to hate what you see
I know how much you wanna break loose & be free
Nobody wants to be depressed but some of us can’t help it
Wanting to be happy yet existing with a spirit that’s restless
Your skin is a beautiful thing but I know why you cut it
just to feel something to get over being depressions puppet
I know why your teary rivers overflow your eyes
wanting to call it quits to live in the sky
You’re different & they judge you but don’t know you
a feeling of happiness, I wish I could be the one to show you
Love not anyone else but thyself
for self is all you’ll ever need more than anyone else
You overlook your strength & I know you’ll deny it
looking for the light knowing you may never find it
I know the pain & I don’t really know why I’m writing this letter
when I’m shattered myself but striving to make you better
Not your guardian angel, just someone who knows your struggle
& until I can’t go any further, I hope to be a guide away from your struggles
- Poetic Venom

tired of not loving myself enough

tired of not giving myself enough credit

tired of not seeing the greatest within

tired of not loving me overall

tired of not appreciating who i am

tired of allowing others to use me

tired of allowing others to abuse me

tired of not loving me

I prove my worth

show you my soul

put my flaws on the table

we're both insecure, you & I


But what if I become true

to my every word

& show you dreams come alive

would it be enough to help you fly again

heartbreak ahead
all signs ignored
no love to be found
the damage happens early
but I don’t stop the fall
delusional, I might be
crazy in love & empty
the pain is strong
the love is stronger
but although it breaks me
this love is where I belong

- Pencasso

I’m not sick or insane
not normal or crazy
just different from the rest
i battle with my demons
just like you
depression is my best friend
anxiety is my side kick
i believe what’s not real
& sometimes I’m not sure how i feel
constantly under a dark cloud
or just sinking in my thoughts
no medication needed
no pity or sympathy
I feel dead on the inside
& some call me crazy
but I’m at war with myself
judgements don’t phase me
worry too much over irrelevance
over thinking but never for the hell of it

There’s Nothing Wrong With Me  .... Pencasso

the sunshine with a hurricane
a sunny day with pouring rain
the happiness with drowning tears
the pursuit of joy with undying fears

the love of dreams with nightmares
the laughter after the thunder
the rage before the rain
& the light after the pain

poetry in motion
beauty within the madness
comfort within the irritation
the vibes of r&b with the effects of heavy metal

they fear what they don’t understand
& i only aim to be a better man
than i was yesterday
so every night on bending knees i pray
for closure of the past
so the future will last
& as i look back on who i was prior
my only desire is to inspire
those who may look up to me
as the inspiration to which i don’t see
but when that day comes
when all my tears no longer run
the pieces of my heart finally come together
to make me whole again, then I’ll be better
better for myself, my family, to finally love thee
I’ll soon be home, i will be free one day indeed
- Pencasso

I’ve seen you weather many storms without breaking a sweat
& the Devil’s trying to break you but you ain’t gave up yet
I know you must be overwhelmed & tired although you won’t say it
helping those around you more than yourself though you’re not obligated
to put anyone over you but you still do it
just for the same ones to make you feel stupid
Through all the betrayal, not once have you thrown favors in the face
of those who’ve spat it back in your face
to make you feel like loyalty should be your reason
when that word is more of a tattoo & they’re only good for leaving
you in the dirt once they’ve used you for their personal convenience
But please, give yourself some credit for having the heart that you do
& I know ***** to feel unappreciated for the things you do
to be overly loyal to many but most do nothing but mistreat you
take you for granted & completely ungrateful
You’re a rare breed, there will never be another you
Give yourself some credit, you’re entirely too unique & special
- Poetic Venom

This Heart of Mine;
has been thru the worst
from being shattered to crushed
as if each occurrence were rehearsed
which is why I have no trust
for those who claim to have interest in me
but are usually stragglers with no destination
never surprising how we go from friends to enemies
& I end up moving on with hesitation

But This Heart of Mine;
is made of Gold & twice the size of me
yet suffering from the damages of love
still a trapped object looking to be free
to be healed & unconditionally love
it grew to be stone cold but warm for the deserving
never loving with the attachments of a past love
while healing from it even when it’s still burning

- Poetic Venom

For the words I can’t say
to make your day
For the way I feel
the feelings I can’t reveal
To see you smile, to see you laugh
to request your hugs but unable to grasp
The sound of your voice that makes me warm
when I’m on your stage, you make my heart perform
My heart sings & you’re the perfect melody
if loving you is such a crime, I’m your smoothest criminal

- Poetic Venom

lately I’ve been feeling SAD!

& i Fall Apart even on good days

sometimes life can be like
the Matrix

deja vu & insomnia, i just wanna
Sleep

cause it feels like I’m Moving Mountains

i save those around me but i can’t
Save Myself

but i guess it’s true what they say
everybody dies in their nightmares   - Pencasso

Losing You;
was the best blessing God ever gave me
all you’ve ever done was taught me how to hate me

Losing You;
I never thought the day would come sooner
trying to keep someone temporarily & create a future

Losing You;
destroyed me at first but I didn’t realize
your kind of love was only meant to leave me paralyzed

Losing You;
I thought you took my heart
because I couldn’t love myself, your departure tore me apart

Losing You;
was a blessing unexpected
& I regret trying to fix something that was better off disconnected

I’ll learn how to fly again
when the sunrises upon me & my soul has risen
above all self hatred built from the past
to which I’ve buried myself in since youth
never knowing how to accept thyself
causing me to neglect love for myself
I’ve been deprived from my wings but i continue my journey in search of the one
who i used to know before this thing called life took a turn for the worst
& I’m there staring in the shattered glass mirror but it hurts
when i realized the one thing I’ve been missing has been here all along
reminding me that I’ve been physically weak & forever mentally strong
I was that eagle in the sky held down by depressions cry
as I’ve yearned for help but never got it
got up again but the confidence in my soar was forgotten
so I flew above ground breaking every momentum I’ve had
Now here I am on the edge of it all, ready to take flight once again
but hopefully with this leap of faith, I learn how to fly again

- Poetic Venom

Ladies, help me understand why y’all give us so much power over you
Getting mad at us for doing all the wrong things but ignore what we’re allowed to do
I understand that Love is Powerful Drug & it’s not easy leaving someone you’re attached to
but that doesn’t mean that you should justify the disrespect that we show you
You ride so hard for a man who’s giving his attention to everything but you
We tell you that we love you but we treat you as if we can’t stand you
Love has become slavery & seeing what y’all tolerate, makes me question many things
Like why do y’all put up with so much pain that makes your heartbreak sing
Is loving someone worth withstanding all the hell you go through
versus being with someone who’s desired to give the world to you
What’s the reward for being miserably in love & growing into self hate?
If he’s not being your Peace then he’s bringing more stress to your plate
He’s demanding more ****** attention but never an intimate conversation
Never on the same level mentally & headed to a roller coaster destination
You let us walk all over you because you love us, ain’t that much love in the world
For you to allow us to make you a side chick when you’re supposed to be the main girl
Why do you give us your world when we’re barely giving you land to settle on
but so quick to give you a saddle for you ride on?
Your mind is racing with thoughts of us daily but you’re barely on our mind
for the exception for a piece of meat, we’re doing nothing but wasting your time
A lot of you won’t like me saying it but it’s true & deep down, I know it hurts
to give your everything to us only to feel like you’re either unworthy or your love is cursed
You feel obligated to put up with us because you’re afraid to be lonely
but why continue to love us when we ignore you for hoes & the homies
We make you fall in love with us, make you develop a soft spot for us
just to use you against yourself & inspire you to hate yourself because of us
We take your love for granted, so quick to replace you & make you cry
yet you still help us fly which makes me wonder why
being confused, lead on, & torn by the lies
riding hard for the same ones who will eventually inspire your love to die

Today marks a milestone for me. I started writing poetry when I was 9 years old but never would I have ever imagined that I'd be able to write approximately 1,015 poems to date. It's crazy how I find inspiration from various places, able to write from many different perspectives, & able to speak for those who can't find their own voice. My poems don't just represent me, they represent the people who inspire me, the people who experience mental health issues, & those who've gone through the worst in life. Never thought I'd get to this point but I'm proud of myself. Such an accomplished to close 2018 out.

For years you’ve been dancing to the wrong beat

trying to a win something that’s designed for your defeat

& I know you’re fed up but I ask if there’s a chance

for me or the right one to get that last rightful dance

For your heart, for your soul, & for you to say I Do

my promise is a guarantee, that one shot will be magical

- Poetic Venom

It’s days like this;
where I love being laid up next to you
legs around my waist, arms around my stomach
no better feeling than being close to you

It’s the feeling I can’t explain;
when I’m staring into your eyes
kissing your forehead & lips
as I blush whenever your smile replies

Yea, it’s days like this;
when I fall deeper in love than I was before
enjoying every second spent with you
which makes me want you more & more

Rainy Days;
I wish they never go away
I wish for a sunny day delay
& for these Rainy Days to replay

It hurts me to hurt you
cause a part of me cares for you
but i didn’t deserve the pain from you
& who would’ve ever knew
that it’ll come to me ignoring you
Being around you & completely silent
I don’t speak cause my soul is crying
Sorrow’s raining from the let down
from the one who shouldn’t let me down
I was wrong for putting so much faith in you
feeling like you were rare only to view
the real you, lonely & confused

Karma’s a trip but i still wish you well
the past is the past & i choose not to dwell
Cry your tears but I’m not the blame
for the results of these childish games
coached by your ego & what a shame
how things just aren’t the same
between us, the effects of the rain
falling from the damage before it’s own hurricane
- Poetic Venom

loyalty overlooked
love unappreciated
affection never accepted
locked in for too long

when do you let go?
when is enough enough?
when do you get fed up?
how much pain can you suffer?

you cried one too many tears
too many sleepless nights
you've hated yourself far too long
for a fool that doesn't appreciate greatness

We haven’t spoken for the past few weeks & I’ve lied to keep from telling the truth
saying i’m busy with work but I’m sure you can still see the proof
Somewhere along the road, I started seeing us from a different light
I started seeing a world without you as a lover & i started loving the sight
But then I’d ask myself, how can one get over someone who did so much
can’t just walk from all that happiness & leave a beautiful heart crushed
I know keeping the truth from you isn’t right but telling the truth, I may lose you
& I can’t just sit here to allow my broken heart use you
I still think the world of you, it’s just the feelings that used to be don’t exist anymore
but the heart that I’ve grown with, I’ll love unconditionally forevermore
What I’m trying to say is that I have to move on to keep from drowning in false hope
of keeping faith within something that may never be again
& it’s that drug you gave me that I can no longer allow my system to overdose
I’ve done a thousand laps in my head trying to go about this in the right way
but in order for us to be happy, one of us has to swallow the pride to walk away
So my silence wasn’t because I was busy, it’s because I’m trying to leave
& holding on is only going to prevent me from waking up from this long never ending dream

pain is a drug
& most of us can't get enough

falling for errors
while loving those we don't trust

red flags ignored
true intentions come to light

feelings get hurt
hearts are never taken in consideration

pain is a drug
some of us can never get enough

you dream a world

free from heartache & heartbreak

just you & your meant to be

without the world, the feeling of free

no tears or long nights that keep you restless

candle light dinner, morning awakes with breakfast

heaven on earth without the hell

dance with the sunshine with the rain in your rearview

looked forward to the future
possibly a family with you
took a min but i was opening up to you
saw a best friend in you
& a source of peace within you
tough love but i wanted to love you

then it all came crashing down
there i am looking like a clown
guess who’s more shut off now
not willing to trust anymore now
i was flying high till you shot me down
sad enough like the rest, you let me down

i now talk with the rain
cause that numbs my pain
cause when the sunshines, I’m not the same
**** love, it’s all a ***** game
such a shame
even with the liquor & poems to cope with
I’ll always hurt the same  - pencasso

I used to show mad love
Used to put every soul before me
but the same ones showed no love
& the ones I went hard for, ignored me
I cared more for them than I did myself
even loved them 10x harder than I loved myself
Would’ve taken a bullet if fate needed a life as a sacrifice
but doing so only leads to a betraying price
I pulled that knife outta many backs
only to have that same knife thrown in mine, now I see how evil attacks
I never wanted to be this way but what do you expect
when I’ve been through so much pain, disappointments, & neglect
I showed more love than I was supposed to
only because I was chosen to
by the same ones that I walked thru the storm for
pushing me closer to that edge that I was headed to
I pretend not have a heart just to keep from being broken again
& I choose to stay alone just to avoid the realization of knowing you don’t have friends
This world is a game & depending on how you play, you either end up eliminated or hurt
so I’m not heartless but use my heart less being in a world so cursed

Poetic Venom

without you, life wouldn't be the same

without you, I wouldn't have changed

without you, there wouldn't be a me

without you, I would've gone crazy

the light in dark days, the music in silence

a blessing to most but for me, you're my guidance

I've caused hell & heartache, pain including stress

gave me the best love thru all of my mess

I can't thank you without thanking God he creating you

cause without you, there is no me

Happy Mother's Day

a decision was made
a path was paved
the future delayed
my heart wasn't saved

a chapter ended
a heart befriended
your love's suspended
the reason argumented

I admitted I'm wrong
couldn't string you along
to make you think we strong
together, we don't belong

hurt, you ain't the only one
too petty too long, we're done
forced me out, you won
you'll find another one

Am I wrong for thinking we could be legit, happy at peace building a foundation that lasts for eternity. Best friends in every aspect & feeding off each others energy

Is it unnecessary to stay safe although I doubt you’ll cause me harm with your heart not being able to handle tearing me apart or looking to you for light when my world becomes dark

Am I crazy for thinking you’re IT for me & everybody else is only a distraction to keep me from loving this source of life that’s the answer for my prayers

And am I fool for falling in love with you when you hold the missing key to this heart of mine & although it’s damaged goods, you still admire it for its true worth that’s intact from the aftermath of loves nature disaster

I don’t believe in luck but I believe in faith, being that it’s the only thing that brought us together when we needed each other the most & taught us that real love deserves to be fought for

I’ve got my issues just like everyone else
feeling like it’s me against everyone else
cause I barely have love for myself
due to being stabbed by those I placed before myself
So forgive me if I seem paranoid or cautious
but we both know real love is going to cost us
especially if the one we’re investing time in
isn’t the one we’re meant to be with
You may have the best intentions but to me
I’ll still be scared before I treat you like the enemy
with my past playing these tricks on me
holding me back from accepting what it is, it won’t let me be
Living so fast that I was speeding, no brakes in sight
which in result, it leads to us having these pointless fights
then my ego comes to play telling me I’m good without you
making me feel better off alone & I start to doubt you
I’ve got issues just like everyone else
but unlike everyone else
I’m just stuck battling with myself
until I can battle with what’s wrong & get over myself
- Poetic Venom

Right now I’m empty
not sure what I’m feeling
I wanna love you
but i need healing

Can’t have you loving me
when I’m currently lost
trying to find myself
but don’t give up on me

If you feel pushed away
please stay
be patient & don’t
take your love away

This isn’t me, it’s the pain
I don’t even smile the same
I’ve fallen apart but i can’t
ask you to repair me

In due time, I’ll return
to give you what you deserve
the real me, that pure gold heart
i just need space for a fresh start  - pencasso

you fear the rain & the thunder
in silence where you suffer
sunshine for the masses
inside you’re shattered
rain drops dance from the eyes
causing the soul to keep dry
the rain describes you as weak
so you share it for one
that’s who you trust
don’t fear the rain
let it shower you
for its whole purpose
is to empower you
- Pencasso

There’s a woman hidden within;
a woman who exist full of happiness & joy
she learned to loved even after being destroyed
she’s been hurt a few times but it never stopped her
although the ones she loved only seemed to mock her

There’s a woman hidden within;
a woman living within your heart who’s locked inside
a woman behind the smile that you always hide
a woman who’s waiting to show her presence
a woman that’s awaiting your acceptance

The woman you’re afraid to be;
she’s happy without any fear
she’s proud of the woman she’s become
through all the pain, she’s grown stronger
no longer living within the essence of her horror
she smiles brighter than ever before
& for the 1st time, she loves herself forevermore

Poetic Venom

You tell me I’m missing but you fail to see my vision
on how i feel like everyone is against me
Either you’re tryna love me or you tryna take me out
drag me thru your hell & get mad if i make it out
Soft hearted & easily forgiving
Lost of interest & never holding anyone back from leaving
I won’t beg for you to understand me
I won’t beg for you to understand this feeling
I don’t expect you to relate to someone’s whose paranoid & contemplate self killing
Don’t tell me to chill, this is how i feel
I can’t be wit you if i can’t be real
I can’t find myself but I’m still on the search
I lost myself thru the lies & the hands laid on me from church
from a pastor telling me that I’m unique from my head to my feet
But the Devil is telling me i ain’t **** which is why i can’t avoid defeat
Maybe I’m sick or maybe I’m hopeless
Depression was hereditary, i never chose it
Feel my heartbeat, maybe you can follow its rhythm
& drown within my alcoholic sorrows that swims in my system
My tears created the rain & the breakage in my heart made it thunder
but the real me lies deep in my soul waiting for someone to discover
the true essence of what I’m really made of
& once they find out, their reaction is what I’m afraid of

Forgive me for the pain

& any errors I’ve created

for I know you’re pure

& full of love, yet I’ve

underestimated your Greatness

Willing to put others 1st who’ve only used you as a Replacement

You stayed true no matter I put you through

& truthfully, I don’t deserve you

for all the things you do

Loving unconditionally & making many lives beautiful

I don’t wanna hear that I’m amazing especially when you’re the same
telling me all these things to manipulate me when you’re just running game
You say I’m a great guy, funny of you to say such a thing
sounding no different from the last girl who said the same thing
I’m not like most guys? Please explain why you feel that way
Because I say all the right things that never fail to make your day?
You question why I don’t take compliments or why I don’t believe anything
but fail to realize that women always want a King but don’t appreciate Kingly things
I’ve been told the same things over & over again, never seeing any difference
but as soon as I try giving one a chance, things begin to get distant
It’s not to punish you for what you’re trying to do
but you’d be upset too if someone kept feeding the same lines but under appreciate you
So don’t tell me that I’m an amazing person if you’re not gonna show me
& don’t try giving me your heart if it isn’t holy
☆ Poetic Venom ☆

It’s been almost 6 years since I’ve went back to my roots
living life on Red Top Road where my mental sustained abuse
I was just a youngin trying to figure this world out
thinking of ways to make this dream come true with all this doubt
of never making it out of this place that slowly became a hell hole
& I was the only one being naive to never know
that the kingdom in my head wasn’t exactly the same show
that kept me tuned in for so many years admiring the lies
of a legacy that died shortly after the King & Queen went home in the sky
The Home of Haunted Memories only makes me remember the kid who never saw the sun
just the trouble of a family tree that would soon be overrun
by the evil within egos that couldn’t patch itself together for the creators
that placed everything into one place that brought us all together
I miss the home I thought I knew when times were worth holding on to forever
but somewhere on this dark road, generations of love & family lost its power of measure
☆ Poetic Venom ☆

Could we just take a second to just wish me a Happy Birthday, it would be mean a lot

Happy Valentines Day to all

- Dre Venxm

a best friend
the creation of endless smiles
& the glow of its compliments
the spark that lights up the sky
the sweetest hello
the hardest goodbye
& when my world goes dark
you’re the diamond in my sky

- Pencasso

when you're done blaming me

crying over or hating me

begging or persuading me

stressed over dating me

tried ******* saving me

but the pettiness was killing me

for the moment I was fortunate

but in love, we're total opposites

no hate but vibes are moderate

my departure hurts but you'll get over it

We were separated as kids & life was never the same
no more around my best friend but who's the blame
because you were disabled mentally
& left me alone with mama, that was killing me
growing up in a house without you
forcing me to get out of the house & come up without you
with you gone, we only allowed me & moms to get close
so as an apology, here's my heart in my note
I know I've done things to you that I can never undone
but it wasn't with ill intent but I guess that's when the hell begun
had a bike when you was 6, I ran it in the ditch
lied to say it was you only for mama to get the switch
dynamic duo, me & you but that slowly died out
saying goodbye to my twin cause I'm forced to stay down south
I've always wanted a brother just to have that connection
not realizing that with you, there was a blessing
although you shared more similarities with mama
I was always jealous of your connection with mama
being that you're the oldest with a 3 year lead ahead of me
making you feel like you were obligated to watch over me
my protector when we were little until we got older
then I became the big brother & my heart got colder
you can say I'm mean as hell but it was for the best
so my apologies for the miscommunication & the stress

I’m a woman of many flaws & imperfections
often silent but never short of verbal or physical expressions
Some may tell me that I ignore my self worth
but they don’t understand how hard it is when you’ve been so hurt
To give your heart to so many, only to feel like a piece of meat
wanting to be loved, to feel secured, yet all I’ve felt was defeat
I smile to hide the pain that I’m battling inside
always left beside the road for those that I offer a ride
The Woman I am, many wouldn’t understand the storm overhead
that causes me to lose sleep when I’m tossing & turning in bed
I lose faith within myself, blaming the pain on myself
feeling unworthy & not good enough to love anyone including myself
Many say my heart is a treasure, many say my heart is gold
but I take it with a grain of salt cause that’s been the greatest lie I’ve been told
I’m a Woman of great pain, a woman who’s cry dances with the rain
a woman whose been left heart broken & played but somehow still sane
I’m a Woman of a thousand tears & each tear has its own story to tell
with a heart that’s brutally shattered from all the destruction of mans hell
-Poetic Venom

It’s been a while since I’ve had that feeling
It’s been a while since we’ve given each other ****** healing
I haven’t seen that smile in a long time
been too long since you’ve shared your time with mine
We’ve known each other for this long & I still think you deserve better
simply because I’m not perfect on that attractive scale but we’ve manage to stay together
Style like no other, smile like no other
but thru it all, you still continue to treat me as if I’m your lover
I’ve been flying in this sky alone for way too long
to not have the queen eagle up here to fly along
I’m struggling to fight temptation cause I can’t let go of you
bugging out at the sound of your name when deep down, I still love you
I’m hard headed & stubborn, refusing to take no for answer
to hell with all these distractions, you’re my only dancer
No Rose Royce but here I am, wishing on a star
hoping to grasp your glow no matter how far
I thought I was lonely when you were around but your absence makes it clear
that I’m far from complete without you being here
One last memory together could be the key we need to fly again
to see our love light up the sky like the 4th of July, forever my friend
☆ Poetic Venom ☆

I write for that kid in school
abused at home & bullied in school
with thoughts of suicide or running away
with no friend in their corner feeling alone every day

I write for that man with a golden heart
dealing with ungrateful women tearing him apart
so used to losing that a win goes unappreciated
& a real man continues to this day to be hated
all because dogs have become loved with the hopes of change

I write for the pain within that I keep locked in
whether it's anger or depression that drives my pen
but it's my therapy & sometimes, my only friend
after spending my life defeating odds that I wouldn't win

I write for that woman feeling alone
heartbreak after heartbreak, crying at home
looking for the one thing she's never felt
when she already has it within herself
the lack of a father around so not sure who to love
but how to love, yearning for her white dove

I write for those dark days that only a few feel
diving in that liquor bottle & stuffed with pills
or a razor blade in hand drawing blood across the skin
wanting peace even if it means life will end

I write for the reader of this poem, you're just like me
a gifted troubled soul mixed in a dark world, just like me
blamed for everything & every loss, just like me
whether from family or yourself, you're guilty
but for the love of poetry & relief, you inspire me