With Love, I haven't had the best luck
settled for hookups trying to get my count up
but that was before the phase
before the worst heartbreak

I was in love once, it was a dream to me
I thought this angel was what she seemed to me
talking over the phone getting close to me
but who knew she'd be a part of my dark history

The reason why I said "F Love", they're all the same
you could be a King but they won't change
so I changed myself, still ashamed of myself
she broke me like nobody else

Provided a heavenly vibe in the midst of my hell
& she loved a King, in her voice I can tell
got me doing things I don't normally do
singing songs to her, it was beautiful

But then the world got dark with her in the center
playing me for an ex love, I could never forgive her
in fact, it made me bitter
the beginning of my downfall & my choice of liquor

I try not to blame them all cause it was my fault
trusting someone I barely knew & took a loss
thinking she'd be down but she let me down
questioning if I was really a King or clown
showing me words carry no certification
help turn me into a rebel against a lifetime goal
& if I'll ever go back, I guess we'll never know

when the sun goes to sleep
& day turns to night
you lay back to kick up your feet
once more, I make you feel high

all the right vibes
intimacy & romance
the excitement in your eyes
as we slow dance

make this last forever
everlasting pleasure
one dance meant for you & me
perfect symmetry when love collides
Love & Poetry

be the rhythm in my blues
whenever I want to feel loved

be the beat in my flow
whenever I want to move

be the star in my night
whenever my darkness needs light

be the umbrella
whenever my tears feel like rain

be the dream
whenever I lay my soul to sleep

be my everything
a King is lost without a Queen

We were separated as kids & life was never the same
no more around my best friend but who's the blame
because you were disabled mentally
& left me alone with mama, that was killing me
growing up in a house without you
forcing me to get out of the house & come up without you
with you gone, we only allowed me & moms to get close
so as an apology, here's my heart in my note
I know I've done things to you that I can never undone
but it wasn't with ill intent but I guess that's when the hell begun
had a bike when you was 6, I ran it in the ditch
lied to say it was you only for mama to get the switch
dynamic duo, me & you but that slowly died out
saying goodbye to my twin cause I'm forced to stay down south
I've always wanted a brother just to have that connection
not realizing that with you, there was a blessing
although you shared more similarities with mama
I was always jealous of your connection with mama
being that you're the oldest with a 3 year lead ahead of me
making you feel like you were obligated to watch over me
my protector when we were little until we got older
then I became the big brother & my heart got colder
you can say I'm mean as hell but it was for the best
so my apologies for the miscommunication & the stress

the sunshine with a hurricane
a sunny day with pouring rain
the happiness with drowning tears
the pursuit of joy with undying fears

the love of dreams with nightmares
the laughter after the thunder
the rage before the rain
& the light after the pain

poetry in motion
beauty within the madness
comfort within the irritation
the vibes of r&b with the effects of heavy metal

I write for that kid in school
abused at home & bullied in school
with thoughts of suicide or running away
with no friend in their corner feeling alone every day

I write for that man with a golden heart
dealing with ungrateful women tearing him apart
so used to losing that a win goes unappreciated
& a real man continues to this day to be hated
all because dogs have become loved with the hopes of change

I write for the pain within that I keep locked in
whether it's anger or depression that drives my pen
but it's my therapy & sometimes, my only friend
after spending my life defeating odds that I wouldn't win

I write for that woman feeling alone
heartbreak after heartbreak, crying at home
looking for the one thing she's never felt
when she already has it within herself
the lack of a father around so not sure who to love
but how to love, yearning for her white dove

I write for those dark days that only a few feel
diving in that liquor bottle & stuffed with pills
or a razor blade in hand drawing blood across the skin
wanting peace even if it means life will end

I write for the reader of this poem, you're just like me
a gifted troubled soul mixed in a dark world, just like me
blamed for everything & every loss, just like me
whether from family or yourself, you're guilty
but for the love of poetry & relief, you inspire me

i didn't ask to be this way

i didn't ask to feel this way

i didn't ask to rage out this way

but the pain & frustration made me this way

the target of several jokes, the fuel to my insecurities

the hell within the rage & the birth of many personalities

putting me at war with myself to fight the demon within

but i embraced the dark side till it became my only friend

i'm not me anymore, that part of me died long ago

i feel like a monster, that little kid doesn't exist no more