I’m having one hell of a week before I made that drastic decision
to send a text to that one person I regret missing
Our pride won’t let us communication, at least that’s what I thought
& the ego of a man is the toughest battle a man had ever fought
Somewhere deep down, I knew the signs weren’t lying to me
but I was hoping it wasn’t what I thought it would be
It took a turn for the worst when she said she had something tell me
I knew she was leaving since it couldn’t be a pregnancy
So how do you cope with the person you love most falling for someone else
& them being too “afraid” to tell you so they keep it to themselves
It was like the Titanic hitting that iceberg & my heart was the bottom of the ship
punctured & wounded causing my soul to sink
She didn’t wanna go back to the past but you can’t go back to what never existed
so let’s be realistic, you didn’t want me but couldn’t tell me so you fed me the bullsh*t
The last woman I had faith in, the last woman I fell in love with
the only woman I made love to & the only woman I could see a future with
You met me when I was broken, fixed me up, just to leave when he came along
then to have me thinking we were going to build the home that our hearts belong
You fooled me once but I forgave you, you fooled me twice & that’s all my fault
but knowing someone could easily replace me, that’s your biggest loss
-Poetic Venom

When I’m Alone;
I shed tears because of the pain within
feeling lost without hope or a friend
thru all the adversity, trails, & tribulations
I fight as much as possible although I’m out of patience
but I refuse to break down or shed tears
cause I don’t want the sympathy or pity of my peers

When I’m Alone;
I feel the inside of me dying every day
so when the sun says good night, I drop down & pray
hoping that when tomorrow comes, I’ll be stronger
than I was the day before & I can fight a little longer
with a frozen heart, numb feelings, & deceased interest
I tend to keep many from knowing the real me so I become distant

I’m Alone;
even with a few people standing behind me
I fight this war by myself, not letting the defeats define me
Alone but not Lonely, with many who relate but don’t know me
whether it’s a friend, a female companion, or one of my homies
I shed tears in the dark but I smile when the light hits me
to hide what I’m feeling within knowing that internally, the pain & hurt is defeating me

- Poetic Venom

How do I tell someone that I’m attracted to that I’m slowly catch feelings
Not knowing if she’s happy or if the relationship is built around happy dealings
Watching her smile every day brings joy to my heart especially when it’s because of me
but there’s something in the back of my mind telling that she’ll never leave him for me
I see the things that she goes through, sometimes being stranded at work
& I come to her rescue but I can’t deny that it makes my heart know
Wanting to say what’s on  my mind but hesitant to even say a word
that maybe I’m the guy she needs & I have the love she deserves
And if that wasn’t enough, there’s another roadblock keeping me from making a move
so beautiful but ******* on cancer sticks & I’m holding on to the interest I’m soon to lose
I hug her like no one else while another small of my heart breaks
always given the opportunity to speak up but too nervous & my voice shakes
I’m just that guy admiring something that I’d like to cherish for a lifetime
yet walking away from it realizing it can’t be mine
Is this even a love triangle or am I just overly attracted to someone that I can’t possess
Holding in a lot of feelings that’ll never be expressed but laid to rest
Whether I speak up or not, my biggest fear is the rejection
that I’ll have to face if I lose such a rare connection

I’ve experienced enough pain, I’m trying to seek what brings me happiness
so i no longer have to beat myself up & live with so much anger & madness
It took 25 yrs for me to love the man i kept seeing in the mirror
but after realizing a few things, a lot of qualities became clearer
I gave my love to a lot of toxic people which inspired the self hate that i grew attached to
telling myself over & over that I’m worthless & no one really loves you
It’s crazy how anxiety can make you feel like you’re a burden to most
even those who you’ve opened up to & eventually became close
I’ve been at war with myself for all this time, the war between my heart & my head
with my head convincing me that I’m better off dead
I’ve been hurt a lot in the past so the flashbacks tend to weight heavy
on my mental pausing me from believing in myself so I’ve been declining steady
As I’m transitioning from my former self to a new version of the man that I’ve doubted
i see a new man full of self appreciation & I’m completely astounded
Though the war is far from won, i keep fighting hoping victory is within my grasp
trying to steer clear from the mind tricks within mind that tend to often run laps
I see a great man who’s been shattered but slowly he’s pulling himself together
while learning to love & accept himself 10x better
No longer looking at the world thru anxiety
but thru the view of his own reality
From never cracking a smile walking with his head down
to gracing life with a new found happiness, refusing to let toxic energy ignite a frown
I stand proud of the man I’m becoming & grateful to the man i used to be
for he taught me to appreciate thyself before allowing others to love me
-Poetic Venom

Ladies, help me understand why y’all give us so much power over you
Getting mad at us for doing all the wrong things but ignore what we’re allowed to do
I understand that Love is Powerful Drug & it’s not easy leaving someone you’re attached to
but that doesn’t mean that you should justify the disrespect that we show you
You ride so hard for a man who’s giving his attention to everything but you
We tell you that we love you but we treat you as if we can’t stand you
Love has become slavery & seeing what y’all tolerate, makes me question many things
Like why do y’all put up with so much pain that makes your heartbreak sing
Is loving someone worth withstanding all the hell you go through
versus being with someone who’s desired to give the world to you
What’s the reward for being miserably in love & growing into self hate?
If he’s not being your Peace then he’s bringing more stress to your plate
He’s demanding more ****** attention but never an intimate conversation
Never on the same level mentally & headed to a roller coaster destination
You let us walk all over you because you love us, ain’t that much love in the world
For you to allow us to make you a side chick when you’re supposed to be the main girl
Why do you give us your world when we’re barely giving you land to settle on
but so quick to give you a saddle for you ride on?
Your mind is racing with thoughts of us daily but you’re barely on our mind
for the exception for a piece of meat, we’re doing nothing but wasting your time
A lot of you won’t like me saying it but it’s true & deep down, I know it hurts
to give your everything to us only to feel like you’re either unworthy or your love is cursed
You feel obligated to put up with us because you’re afraid to be lonely
but why continue to love us when we ignore you for hoes & the homies
We make you fall in love with us, make you develop a soft spot for us
just to use you against yourself & inspire you to hate yourself because of us
We take your love for granted, so quick to replace you & make you cry
yet you still help us fly which makes me wonder why
being confused, lead on, & torn by the lies
riding hard for the same ones who will eventually inspire your love to die

Today I was struck with devastating news
saying good bye to someone I never thought I'd lose
Under the impression that everything was okay
but everything came crashing down in the worst way
Losing contact for almost a month, I knew something was wrong
& I can either fight my pride to see what's wrong
going back to a place where my heart doesn't belong
How do you accept the fact that someone you love no longer wants your love?
Trying to grasp my brain around letting her go
Hearing her tell me goodbye but my heart won't let go
Already dealing with my own hell, she hits me with the saddest news
Something I thought I'd never hear her say again
Once again, giving my heart the inspiration for the blues
& now I'm forced to watch someone else love my best friend

No longer can i love you
No longer can i offer you the world
No longer can you have my heart
No longer can i remain attached
My heart grew cold but my soul remains intact
I walk alone while knives hang from my back
Desiring a presence to make me happy
for too long I’ve ignored the one that really mattered
& pain has a way of reminding you what’s lost
Something has become of me, something vicious
sometimes my heart sends messages but I’m too stubborn to listen
wrongfully lead by pride & let down by my ego
safe to say I’m my worst enemy but it’s hard to let go
So making you happy isn’t an option for me anymore
but I’ll still love you forevermore
My Happily Ever After does exist, it just doesn’t reside with you
& i never wanna say goodbye but I’d rather walk away than to further hurt you
I feel my heart shattering whenever i see you cry
knowing I’m full of it & i can never make things right
I failed to be the perfect lover, hell i was barely a friend
no matter how much you want things to play out, the one thing we love most always comes to an end