There’s a lot of things in my head for eternity
There’s good and a lot of bad but all memory
Watching omega take his last breath
So young, watching my best friend’s death
Neighbor poisoned him, he slowly died out
Wake up every night mid scream or shout
Dreaming about opening my room door
Seeing my brother unconscious on the floor
Overdosed, so many thoughts inside my head
Crying on the floor is my brother really dead
Checked on his chest and he wasn’t breathing
Checking for his pulse is his heart still beating
Thankfully it was, barely any air in his lungs
Happy our mother didn’t lose one of her sons
My mom wasn’t in the best relationship either
Stepdad was a drug addict and a child beater
Fought little kids because he wasn’t a man
I’d drop him dead now but back then I ran
One night I watched him choke my mom
Situations like that it’s hard to stay calm
Her body hit the floor and went limp
Had to choose to be heroic or be a wimp
I drug her out the house and down the street
Fell on my knees screaming at the concrete
That’s probably my worst childhood memory
Mentally tore out a piece of me
Fast forward, find out I’m going to foster care
Life changed dramatically I couldn’t bare
Climbed up to the roof and saw omega’s grave
Leaped off, don’t know if i was stupid or brave
Wanted to die, only hurt my leg so I cried
Uncle asked if everything was alright, I lied
Over the years I’ve attempted five times
With pills, heights, and even a razor blade
Even went to Crescent Pines for mental aid
I’ll never forget these moments
They were some of my biggest opponents
However I’ve made it through
Everyday is an opportunity for something new
I’m thankful to be here and I’m grateful for you
Best of luck, may all your dreams come true

There was a boy who swore he was in love
He prayed for help from those up above
He really thought things would be different
Met a girl and she was quite magnificent
Told his mom and all his friends about her
Even stayed up late nights writing love letters
Put all his time and effort into a relationship
Thought she was helping him get a grip
On himself and how life was going on
He had no clue the trap that was upon
His near future was in for a real twist
Butterflies after every time they kissed
She truly made him happy to exist
Except her reason for loving him was wrong
She just wanted to feel a reason to belong
She thought loving him would help herself
Wanted a different reason to live life itself
Her ex taught her that she wasn’t worth it
Played with her mind, so her wrist she slit
Her ex got bored and cheated multiple times
Now pay attention to these next rhymes
She doesn’t want to cheat but she does
But it’s not her fault and it’s because
She just can’t control herself around her ex
Especially when he texts her for the ***
He doesn’t know but she sees him every night
It feels good to her but she knows it’s not right
She should break up with him for his sake
She just can’t put him through that heartbreak
It’s not that she doesn’t care for him
She just doesn’t love him
She still loves her ex, yet she hates him too
Forever on her skin like a tattoo
The boy who cried love to his mom is clueless
He’s noticed that she’s down but feels useless
When he asks she shrugs and says it’s nothing
She wears long sleeves to cover up the cutting
He pulls her in for a hug and says I love you
She stays for a bit but then she withdrew
He’s badly concerned this girl is his world
He’d fight anyone once she gave the word
Every night he slowly sinks into depression
Wonders why he can’t make a connection
They used to be so happy together
He pictured a perfect life forever
A few weeks later, he’s having a breakdown
However he gets up, tired of having a frown
So he decided to take a walk to his girls house
He’s there, all lights are off, quiet as a mouse
He goes to knock on her window
But he hears something real low
He watches as his girlfriend kisses her ex
He doesn’t know what to feel or do next
So he takes pictures and returns home
So many thoughts clouding his dome
He sends her the pictures and starts crying
Already dead inside but he feels like dying
So he takes his moms gun, runs to the woods
Never ever thought that she could
He doesn’t look back, he continues to run
His phone buzzes, she said it was just for fun
He’s screaming, a year and half wasted
He can’t breathe, he’s too irritated
He’s texting her, knowing this is goodbye
He’s on the bench where she first walked by
She noticed he’s texted really weird like
Then she realizes and runs for her bike
She checks his house but he’s not here
There’s one other place he’s gotta be there
She’s peddling faster no time for air
She’s close to the place where
They first met, she’s crying her eyes out
She see’s him sitting, so she goes to shout
Wondering if this hole in her heart got bigger
She cries as she watches him pull the trigger
She never wanted to see the end of
The boy who cried love

There’s a possibility for something grateful
Yet there’s a possibility it’s something fatal
I’m scared of ending up alone again
Cause if I’m on my own what happens then
I’ll grow used to it and reject society
Multiple things I’d sink into, a variety
Deeper depression, needing confession
Lacking connection, though alone in a session
Of my own kind of therapy, taking false clarity
I’ve got no insurance, rid of my management
Wanting reassurance, achieved abandonment
I woke up gasping for air
Had a dream that you weren’t there
Got bored and left me by my lonely
I’d cry but, hey that’s the old me
I’m so broken up and I’ve broken down
I can smile all day cause really I’m a clown
Such a lover boy, yet seen as a *** toy
Heartbroken but that’s okay
I’ll be alright someday
If heavens real, god put extra locks up for me
A place so pure, I couldn’t possibly be
I tried to find my place but I don’t belong
Wish someone could prove me wrong
I’m happy for a bit, with my friends it’s lit
But when I’m on my own, it feels like I’m gone
Like no one really cares
Cried out, no one answered my prayers
I’m aware, I have to prepare, life isn’t fair
Watch what I share, because loyalty is rare
You can be broke, even if you’re a billionaire

When all is quiet and I’m stuck in my mind
I’ll cry out for help yet there’s none to find
But my real friends are there by my side
From depression to guilt, no emotions hide
I could free myself and drink a bottle of *****
Or cry myself to sleep until all I do is snooze
I’m so scared of ending up with no one
Scared I’ll get hurt and leave my heart frozen
A huge part of me wants to call it quits already
I continue to fight until I’m actually ready
Ready to give up, I’m ready to kick the bucket.
Remember when she broke our heart locket?
When we gave her our all
You left us all to fall
But we expected this call
You thought you’d be happy forever?
What’d you say to her? Never say never.
Well we’re here for you buddy it’s you and us
What’s wrong? Did you forget? We’re a must.
Well never leave your side
All we do is temporarily hide
But you can never get rid of your emotions
So go ahead drink again. Feel those motions
Well be here when you’re sober and can focus
We’re you’re worst demons like hocus pocus
You found a new one? Worry not she’ll leave
Well listen to all your cries and screams
We’re your real friends. Forget everyone else
We feed off your worries and doubts
Oh great, here come all the shouts
Why do you do that? It doesn’t help.
So go ahead scream, cry, and yelp
You’re just giving us more and more control
Don’t worry we’ll bring an end to your soul
That’s what you want right
Well make your rope extra tight
Let us handle all your problems tonight
You won’t ever have to deal with fright
Off to sleep now, go ahead, goodnight
Okay depression, it’s your turn in the spotlight.

I like to pretend that you are my girlfriend
Not just my best friend
And we are together til the end
It’s just that you are amazing
Driving me crazy
I hope that this never ends
Some day you’ll be my baby
Or he’ll marry you maybe
And I’ll be there until the end
What you are is stunning
Got my mind running
All the way past the end
You are so gorgeous
Your heart is enormous
Your life should never end
Can’t get you out of my head
I’ll love you even when I’m dead
I’ll love you until the end
No matter how much you hurt me
You are the one that deserves me
I’m right here way beyond the end
You make me feel
You help me heal
I promise that it’ll never end
I’ll hold onto your hand
While I’m drowning in quicksand
Suffering until the end

Do you ever wonder why you’re wondering
Keeping yourself calm instead of slaughtering
Every bridge, every person, every connection
Denying happiness to avoid rejection
To only bring upon yourself that rejection
Hating your own reflection
Staring at the mirror asking why
Why everyone you love has to die
Why everything you know will be irrelevant
Thoughts flowing in my head so unpleasant
Someday everything you worked for is gone
Someday on this earth you won’t belong
Man, it doesn’t even seem like it’ll be long
Who knows when our time will be gone
Do you ever think about our capability to think
Crazy how life can end in just a blink
Don’t think about why I’m thinking I just drink
Drink until I can’t think so I sit back and sink
Into a coma or into a chair
Either way it goes this life will never be fair
But I wake up everyday trying to try
Trying to avoid toxicity so I don’t have cry
Is there a difference between intoxication
And taking a life long vacation
Do you ever cry until you can’t form tears
Ask how you’ve let yourself waste these years
With fake people fake love and bad memories
Let’s have kids to carry on our tragic legacy
The human race should already be extinct
Remember when we all thought we’re unique
But nowadays everyone’s the same
And it’s getting kinda lame
Does anyone even think about anyone else
Feels like everyone only thinks about themself
So do you ever think
About what other people think
About how that’d make someone feel
I just wish that everyone was real
Do you ever ponder about life’s meaning
Besides all the sadness death and bleeding
The joy, the laughter, and even the love
Do you really think there’s a place up above
I hope there is, and I hope you made it

I’m tired of pushing and tearing myself down
I looked in the mirror and instantly had a frown
Everyone just watched as I started to drown
I got used to the idea of not being around
My last words should’ve just been goodbye
Why’d Miles, X and, Juice have to die
That’s three legends in just three years
Couldn’t even count the amount of tears
My last relationship messed me up the worst
I’d give anything to marry the girl from the first
Thought I needed love but it was just a hoax
Thought I needed your love but that was jokes
Because you were never actually down for me
Now I’m seeing flashbacks like I’ve got ptsd
All these deaths and I’m wondering who’s next
Really hope miles is up there chilling with X
I hope heavens real so I can see y’all again
Y’all brought me so much love but also pain
I miss you guys so much I wanna see you now
Id end my time here and see you if I knew how
My brother and my idols all gone without me
The other day I sat on the floor and slit quietly
I’m ready to let go
To go see my bro
I’m ready to start fresh
A life outside my flesh
I’m ready to go away
I just want to leave today
I’m ready to escape my past
I’m ready to write my last