keepsake7: Poems

102 · Jan 2020

Give it time

keepsake7 Jan 2020

Give it time

I’m the one who locked myself in
But I still look outside

100 · May 2020

Conversation starter

keepsake7 May 2020

Conversation starter

I want to make friends
But it always ends in failure
From beings terrible at keeping a conversation
To being left on read
I want to expand my bubble
But that’s hard to do
When even thing I say
is just not worth your time
From lol and wbu
To
emoji face and seen :10.30
maybe I’m just hard to talk to or I just haven’t tried enough
But I didn’t know talking to people my age was as hard as it was

99 · Jun 2020

I loved you

keepsake7 Jun 2020

I loved you

You broke my heart like you were use to it
I took you back trying to find the pieces of me
You came back with a grin if only I had know I was there for your humour
Weeks go by and you leave again and I was more shattered than the first time even though some part of me had realised you’d go
I guess I’m use to it
When people leave they take a piece of you with them maybe it’s so you always have a missing part of you or because that’s the trophy they collect once they finish their game who knows I don’t but I’ll move on because a part of me will always love them but I will not stay chasing my past to not see my future

Sometimes I get stuck of what if’s and wonder why I didn’t do something I let it consume me I don’t want to do that anymore so this is my last post for this person because he is in my past and I can’t final move forward

98 · May 2018

Untitled

keepsake7 May 2018

Untitled

and when i think of him i'm
reminded of the cigarette that hangs loosely in his mouth
his eyes mirror the pain of loss
he whose hair was inked dipped
and his kiss of thorns
pricked my lips every time we kiss after all
he was a man who'd broken himself
and i was nothing more than cement trying to rebuild his walls

98 · Feb 2018

Untitled

keepsake7 Feb 2018

Untitled

He was a lost love from the start
And i know i don’t love him
Not anymore but sometimes
I just want him to see what he missed out on
And sometimes i just wish he did like me
And sometimes i just wanted him to say i love you once
But i love who i’m with it’s just sometimes i imagine it's him
But the person i love makes up for it
Because he is beautifully charming and doesn't mind me saying
Stupid things at 3am and my bad habits the one i love isn’t perfect
But there's a beauty in his imperfection

97 · Mar 2018

Untitled

keepsake7 Mar 2018

Untitled

tear me down
smite my heart
break my bones
and tear me apart
love me enough
to make my heart crimson
find my love among misery

96 · Mar 2021

Untitled

keepsake7 Mar 2021

Untitled

I’m dancing in a club to forget you our song comes on and I stop breathing how am I supposed to move on if I stand still at the memory of you.

96 · May 2020

Missing me

keepsake7 May 2020

Missing me

I miss the smile you had when you saw the sun the way stars were the best part of the day
Talking about things you enjoyed didn’t stop at once sentence
I loved how you fell so quickly finding love in anyone how running felt
falling in the grass
Swimming in the pool
I miss the parts of me I lost growing up
I’ve falling out of love with myself

95 · Nov 2021

Untitled

keepsake7 Nov 2021

Untitled

I find reasons to message you
Only to get a one word reply
Why do I try to get you to see me
I just wish you’d see me

94 · Jul 2022

Untitled

keepsake7 Jul 2022

Untitled

One day you will not be on my mind
And when I no longer think of you
I hope I am happier than right now

93 · Jul 2019

Untitled

keepsake7 Jul 2019

Untitled

And some days I wish I could tell myself I’m okay
Without crumbling beneath the weight

93 · Feb 2018

Untitled

keepsake7 Feb 2018

Untitled

She lays in a cursed bed
Shackled and broken
Her body has become
A wasteland
Bruised hips
Burnt bits
fresh scars could be seen on her thighs
Her eyes blue as the sea started too drain down the sink losing all
The stars that once shone within them
She laid next to a phantom
Whos smile made ice melt
Who hugged her tightly against a chest with no heart
And a love that was never anything more
Than between the bedsheets

not really finished end doesn't make sense but what i thought of first might fix it later (currently in class :/ )

92 · Feb 2018

Untitled

keepsake7 Feb 2018

Untitled

D
     e
          e
               p into the darkness
Romancing the fears bubbling up inside
I danced with my demons
And sing with the beast under my bed
I swallow my pills like m&ms
And chatted with the voices in my head
The mirror show me everything i hid
And i forgot when i dissappe

92 · Feb 2020

Red

keepsake7 Feb 2020

Red

Sometimes I imagine your tongue lightly kissing my neck with your eyes the smile into my memory your name I could not whisper enough for the stars to know and the bittersweet taste of regret has made its home in my bed
agony curls its self around my bones like chains that remind me I belong to you and even if I turn into the land we stand on I will see you again.

91 · Mar 2018

Untitled

keepsake7 Mar 2018

Untitled

I believed in love
I fell in love
But your the one who broke me
Who destroyed my fantasies
I believed in you love
But you destroyed us

91 · Dec 2017

to dad

keepsake7 Dec 2017

to dad

Hey dad I can’t sleep
At three am I feel weak
Hey dad I can’t sleep
I started getting nightmares again
My head feels light and I can’t think
Hey dad I can’t sleep
Everyone thinks I’m happy
Everyone including you
The monsters roam my head again
Hey dad I can’t sleep

90 · Feb 2020

It’s 3:00 and I’m tired

keepsake7 Feb 2020

It’s 3:00 and I’m tired

I can’t wrap my head around my thoughts
Sometimes all I can do is think
Think like a tv with a static screen
A buzzing that won’t go away
The constant this or that
And then nothing at all like an empty house whose floorboards creek with a whisper from the wind
Sometimes I prefer nothing at all the silence
The empty streets that echo my step when I walk knowing it’s just me
But then it can be to much its hail on my roof as I toss an turn trying to get everything to stop when silence is loud
A blizzard that comes so quickly like a scream from a man with no voice to be heard
To the fly I hear buzz in the dark
I wish my silence was peaceful enough that I could sleep

90 · Feb 2018

why i write

keepsake7 Feb 2018

why i write

Why do i write?
Well why do you breathe
It's simple i have to
The words like a whirlpool
Twist in my head strangle every other sense
I type my heart onto a page
A blank page i fill with soul
For me my writing lives
It breathes and tells me to type
So why do i write?
Because i’m absolutely mad

89 · Nov 2020

Wrong reflection

keepsake7 Nov 2020

Wrong reflection

You were everything I wanted to be but you were not me

89 · Dec 2017

she's flying from above

keepsake7 Dec 2017

she's flying from above

She fell from above
Gentle like a feather
Effortlessly
She was seen as the definition of beauty
She had wings that held her up
allowing her to breathe
She’s flying
Flying away
From where she sat
Upon heavens staircase.

89 · Feb 2018

Untitled

keepsake7 Feb 2018

Untitled

173 days since we started dating
thats 5 months and 20 days
since i first said i love you

88 · Dec 2017

my love

keepsake7 Dec 2017

my love

What does love feel like?
I feel swallowed in a sea of butterflies
That I drunk from the glass
atop his beating heart that lays in my bed
I see romance in the blank pages he has yet to complete
And I love the smile that makes me feel shattered
But head over heels in love

88 · Jan 2020

Untitled

keepsake7 Jan 2020

Untitled

I say i love you like hello
Missing you quietly
Your warmth seeps into my bed sheets
Remind me of your embrace
You reminding me of dew in the morning
Sticking to everything i have including myself

85 · Jul 2022

Untitled

keepsake7 Jul 2022

Untitled

I still see you in my living room but you no longer sit on the couch
I see you in the backyard smiling into the sun but whenever I get closer you fade away I hope we will meet again and my heart can bare this pain until then

I had to put my dog down due to old age and I just keep missing him thinking his here but then I see his urn and feel this sadness all over again I’m glad I could say goodbye but I wish there was just a little more time

85 · Feb 2018

Untitled

keepsake7 Feb 2018

Untitled

Why do i want to hug you so bad
But your back scares me
Cold and unwelcoming
I'm afraid to touch you
You might get mad or find me annoying
And i know i take things to heart
But everything you say
Effects me in such away
That i wish you'd never speak again
Because i fear everything you say next

84 · Oct 2021

1815141

keepsake7 Oct 2021

1815141

I’m sure you like me
like I like you but
I’m unsure of myself
we had this conversation before
we said I like you before
but if I ask you again
am I hoping you do
or feeding my ego

83 · Oct 2020

Stalemate

keepsake7 Oct 2020

Stalemate

This chess game of ours will end in a draw Neither a win nor a loss just a game with no outcome
Even the right moves will not always end in checkmate
But with you I’m stuck in place

82 · Nov 2020

One sided

keepsake7 Nov 2020

One sided

I could fall for your smile
I could fall for your charm
I could fall for your face
I could fall for your voice
But they do not belong to me
And you are not happy because of me
I could fall for you
But you are loved already

81 · Oct 2020

Untitled

keepsake7 Oct 2020

Untitled

She was beautiful
I couldn’t even look at her eyes afraid I’d stare forever if I did
I don’t know what it was that made her amazing
Plain and boring a normal person you’d never think twice about but
She was beautiful
And that was suffocating

I hate attractive people because most don’t realise and I could see them in a crowd and fall in love

79 · Jan 2020

where do i stand with you

keepsake7 Jan 2020

where do i stand with you

Sometimes I wonder why I go back to you
When every time it ends in one of us leaving
You say you miss me but never message
Maybe you want me too crawl
But your not worth that much
I don’t need you
But i go back anyway
Maybe it’s being alone
That i fear so much

75 · Jan 2020

Maybe my pain will lessen

keepsake7 Jan 2020

Maybe my pain will lessen

I forgive you.

73 · Oct 2020

I don’t want to part ways

keepsake7 Oct 2020

I don’t want to part ways

I hope you live well
That you are loved and happy
And one day when you miss me
I hope I’m somewhere there

70 · Oct 2020

I like u

keepsake7 Oct 2020

I like u

We tiptop around our feelings in hopes the other will say it first but I’m to untrusting and you’re worried about change

67 · Oct 2020

If only I meant as much to u

keepsake7 Oct 2020

If only I meant as much to u

If your love was poison I’d drink it gladly if only to know in my dying breathe you stood there and realised how much you meant to me

66 · Oct 2020

Do I live here or just taking space?

keepsake7 Oct 2020

Do I live here or just taking space?

I feel like a ghost in my own home I keep to myself even though I live here I feel out of place like I’m visiting someone for the first time
That weird thing you do on the couch were you try to not take up to much room were if your offered food you politely declined feeling like a nuisance to get the food they paid for trying to not touch anything but also clean up because even though it’s not your mess your a guest so it fine but this is my home I walk so quietly like I’d disturb the dead I know this is home so why do I feel like a stranger when it’s all I know

65 · Oct 2020

Untitled

keepsake7 Oct 2020

Untitled

I’m choking on my existence
Didn’t even want it in the first place
Now I’m struggling
Dealing with the consequences of being born
I just want to live
But surviving seems to be my way of life

Just let me disappear or let someone else live my life because I don’t deserve to

63 · Oct 2020

Is there anything I can do?

keepsake7 Oct 2020

Is there anything I can do?

I want to live well but I don’t think it’ll happen where I am and who I am can’t change in a day I want to get a job but there are non around me so I’m making it by off government money and my father tells me I can stay but I don’t want to live this life staying forever out of fear nothing can change

It’s real hard to want to live when I have no way of moving forward maybe it’s just I’m comfortable here so I stay because I’m stuck

60 · Dec 2017

Untitled

keepsake7 Dec 2017

Untitled

dont tell me you love me if your heart is undecided

56 · Dec 2017

Untitled

keepsake7 Dec 2017

Untitled

His sadness was louder than the
Voice that told him to love
His heart was hurting more than hers was
He wasn’t broken just not complete
A story that had no end
With a love that wasn’t finished

55 · Dec 2023

I’m not a boy

keepsake7 Dec 2023

I’m not a boy

If she was the garden of eden
I would eat the apple willing
God is her word
And as the poison invades my lungs
My last words will be her name

53 · Jan 2018

what if what if what if

keepsake7 Jan 2018

what if what if what if

i start wondering what if
constantly repeating everything i love about you
i wonder what if just hoping you
maybe you can see my worries bubbling up
just out of reach my what if a constant stream of negativity
just wondering if you like me what if you love me
i know id run to you in a heartbeat
even if my feet were in concrete or my heart stopped beating
id still run
but we dont talk ive seen you less and less
so much im forgetting your face
and i know its silly my what if
but
do you know how many times ive cry when youve said i love you just hoping that you do
how my anxiety and fears choke me telling me otherwise
but i wonder what if just what if my dreams come true

— The End —