Sometimes I wonder if the stars never shone in your eyes or I lost them in the darkness

This mask of mine remains on my face I can’t remember when I started wearing it
When the “I’m fines”
were anything but
when the stress became to much
I can’t remember why I wear this mask of mine all I know is it’s stuck

I hope someday I’ll be where you are

Somedays I wanted to curl up inside myself and hope ill be born anew
I want to cut myself apart and build myself back up like LEGO blocks
And most days I feel like it can’t get worse that crying becomes painfully when chocking on my tears
My bed is a fortress and I am the princess locked inside or maybe I’m a bird in a cage a prisoner with a ball and chain
I want to die
I won’t sugar coat this saying depression is like falling in love
Or you only hate apart of yourself
I can’t look in my mirror anymore
I hate whatever I wear so I don’t leave the house that way I don’t need to Change
I eat to survive not to taste
I live for another day not my tomorrow
I smile for them not myself
but I’m still here
I’m still here

Hey dad I’m sad
He pushes me aside
Hey dad I need help
He gets mad says do it yourself
So I do
I stop asking for help
And even though my scars grow
I’m fine
Even when they call me names even when my friends go away
I’m fine
Because I don’t need help
Hey dad today was a good day

My phone is my therapist
It’s who I talk to when I’m sad
It doesn’t ask me how I feel
Nor does it say “are you ok?”
It silently waits for me to say
I’m not
It doesn’t offer advice I’ve tried
Doesn’t get mad that it can’t help me
And doesn’t leave when I become to much
My phone is my therapist
And that’s enough