its hard trying to find a job when all i can do is try and write poems
its not something in demand right now and even if it is i can find how to apply
i don't know how to do anything
maybe it's because i stay up to 2am and forget to eat
or im turning 17 in about 4 weeks?
maybe it's trying to find effort to go to school every morning
for teachers who say im whats called a "problem child"
i can't push my problems away or use excuses like "they didn't help" or "it's not my fault" because i know my problem
i can't get a job

and all the lovers i'll never have
caress their lovers in bed sheets
that hold their hearts with
smiles i'll never see
and sometimes i
wonder if i was them would i feel complete
their souls skinny dipping in the gold heat
of the oven light as the open bay window
shows a galaxy
with a thousand stars baring their hearts that
makes me wonder
if i enough will my dreams come true

she made his name her password
he deleted her number
she cried into her pillow feeling stupid and asking why?
he went on dates and delete every trace of her
shes still trying to pick up the pieces
and he cant even remember her

he was only seventeen
when he went to war
he left with a smile
trying to tell his mother he'd be fine
i still remember the bluest eyes i've
ever seen walk into the distance gun in hand

he was only seventeen
when he went to war
i'd send messages back and forth
he'd tell me about the friends he made
and lost along the way
he'd say he was doing fine
a few misses with bullets raining down
on him but i know he was smiling
happy to fight for his country
it filled him with pride

Its been a few years now
since i saw him the messages
stopped a month ago
i thought maybe...just maybe
he was coming home
but then we got the letter
"killed in action"
the man with the bluest
eyes I've ever seen
wasn't coming home again