May I be a royal highness even if my community is made up of three
Gallivanting around as the crowds bowing
To sleep where I please
Holding the fridge open while wearing nothing but a crown
I will play out my fantasy while drinking liquid royalty

I ate it



You demonstrated the hate

The hate that infested your veins

Creating them

The monster with in

Something that scares the host

Intrigues most

The cruel world

We all
Call



HOME

Invaded by the norm

His depths are following
His sins are hollowing
His features are detering like a good horror feature
He comes in with regrets
He is a leaders of, "let's"
He has no conciouse
No sense , just enthusiasm and a great suit
We all love to follow and say, "it's totally ok"
He is your dismay
We counter it with our fake great
Now let's pray
Rain will prevent the decay
God will know,
you like the delay

Everyone has this identity of what we are meant to be, but it does not come naturally. We must learn how to make it evolve.

This need festers deep inside our body and soul; making it hard to breathe, feeling as if you’re going to combust spontaneously.

In this very moment, the perfect epiphany wakes you as if in a deep sleep. It gives you the urge to write everything, especially your goals and dreams, hoping this will feed the want inside.

Everyone’s feelings of the want come differently.

For me, I feel this passion to make the earth quake enough to move mountains, in such an incredibly unique way.

To run as far as my legs will take me, until I feel as if I’m going break.

To love my children as gracefully and understandingly as I humanly can.

To grow in knowledge, while learning as passionately as my mind will grant me.

To let go of the hate an anger of the world.

To let it slide through my arms, down my finger tips, and into the ground where it belongs.

To not hurt others, but instead be a voice of kindness and strength.

To be what others are afraid of seeking and fighting to see.

To let go of all the animosity and pain, and fly free.

To harness and meditate the things that will feed my soul.

To dress strong and full of beauty as the women I venture to be.

By this I will go far. It’s not a question or a maybe; it is a statement to the world that this is who I will be.

She touches his hair, reclining the chair
Climbing to the top
Covering his lips with her skirt
He gently touches her skin
Her shirt falls to the ground
He can not help himself,
grabbing her *******
His wife,
sees the whole situation unraveling
She gets down on her knees
While grabbing the girls *** cheek
A mutual agreement, for all parties
No harm is done
Some will say the devil they call upon
Their in love
The couple has a bond most can not comprehend
*** is intimate, it is also gratifying
Combining the savage beast,
who smashes the king size bed
Hiding in the night from a world who hates three

I decomposed my head
My eyes smile death
Forgiveness, never read
Choosing complex,
hell is where it lead
My body represents guidance
My mind, violence
I feel no panic, only silence
I bind my heart into the earth,
God is wordless
I am now dirt

My eyes seem to not be right 

My perception is paranoid

I wonder how to feel this void 

I may have hit a wall

This would explain why I lay sprawled out in vain

A soul with a vital source of despair 

This is a pitty party and I don't care 

Alone, glad to be at home

We create our energy,

mine is a big box of wine

Can you please be silent and hand me a straw

I promise I'll be fine

Strength is interpreted wrong in the thought procces of the ones who feel weak
In actuality we should be embracing the unique
Thank god for what we see
Forgive ourselves for the guilt stuck inside our bodies
We have a  fire built deep for a reason
A purpose alluring
Everyone is looking for that belief
I just follow the energy
It seems to always be calling
Spoken word never seemed so bleak

The rivers knows me,
an aspiration with pain thrown in

She wants to exist
Feeding the wild, rapidly free

Man has his own fate
He takes her rights

She fights,
soaking up every drop from the sky

He needs to feed the envy

She has dry tears in her muddy puddle up fear

Mocked by the image of life,
she had once thrived
  
The world turns an eye in disgust

Her only objective was to nourish and love

From the moment I took a breathe,
I was thrown into a narrow way of life.
Unfair way of thinking.
Stunting my progression.
I had to be the perfect little Mormon girl.
"Stand up straight.
Talk like a young lady."
I couldn't express my individuallaity.
Ironically the way god made me.
The words dug in deep perpetually.
"Your eyeliner is to deep you look like a harlet.
What the hell are you wearing?"
I dressed to **** and **** meant ***.
*** made you a deformed unbloomed flower unless you were married.
I was misinformed constantly.
I didn't want to go to hell I wanted my family to support me.
I put on show for far to long trying to please everybody.
I couldn't understand why something so true and great could bring nothing but shame and misery.
I gave my everything and it was killing me.
I was drove to the fine line of insanity.
Free falling down so beautifully.
Finding myself in an erratic deranged way.
No longer following any man into the ground.
Keeping the firm heart within me.

Tightly forcing her body against the clay
Scraping her tarnished skin, on its unforgiving stones
Determined
Unhinged, narrow thought became disturbed
Intention, soaking the soils energy
Becoming one with nature
Persuit, rapid decaying
No trail of life
Evidence faded
Secluded mountain peak
30 miles in, her only goal accomplished
Her pocket knife she holds over head
Pretending to cut the fluffy clouds in half
One fast Stab
She lays in her vanishing grave

I sit in the steaming hot water naked and vulnerable, both mentally and physically  to blemishes accumulated on me.
The mental thoughts race back and forth between  my eyes playing and rewinding  back through mistakes I have made.
Remembering the wrong paths that dramatically  changed my history.
As the water rises I feel the anxiety inside my chest making me hyperventilate profusely.
I close my eyes plunging my face into the water, feeling my hair floating over me.
Staying under as I feel the anguish of the misconceptions of my life fall off of me.
coming up as if awakening from the dead, while ceaselessly  stepping out of the ***** water leaving it behind.
I peer into the mirror inhaling the air surrounding.
Slowly wrapping my arms tightly around my body, letting the women in the mirror know I except her.
Telling her I will always love and fight for her.

Her long symbolic hair caressing her body
Her torn jeans representing her dignity
Sentimental to the teen rotted inside a lifetime ago
Tears making her smile
Her pink apple suit case was confiding
Hiding in a storm, where rocks were thrown
Bruises and scars across her knees
Killing the young girl
No longer innocent eyed
She's a a straggler
Structure tried
She runs away searching
Fresh start is an opportunity topped off with profanity
Odds pushing her down
A constant, as the sun raises its eyebrows
Her cards she never questioned there quality
As he touched her fingers
She has one chance
Contemplative perseverance

An eccentric free spirit
A major let down, no one understands the blunt sounds
A neighborhood built up by the ****** society, half naked puffed out chests
I'd rather pick my lilacs and dance to Joan Jett then deal with their meetings
I will celebrate my homemade life with a button stating,
"Save the wine who cares about the rest"
Freedom from the voices that screech

I'm a mess
This is not a confession
I never expected to settle down
I always believed I would be a free spirit running around
Then I found your daddy
He knew and I said I do
I will never understand his fascination with me
We're pretty intense in many ways but we created you, two beautiful babies
You may hate me one day, I will never resent it
I only hope the push and drive I give you makes a difference in this chaotic world
A world you're familiar with at times
I never planned to comprise, life has a way of sneaking up and ******* you from behind
I promise to keep fighting for what you need
Even if you never have the opportunity to see
I'm far from cheesey but your mommy has dreams to make life for you easy
One day, in this place where there may not be a God I pray for you nightly
Blessing your innocent mind and holding onto you tightly

Letting people take control of my emotional state
I did something I told myself was probaby fake
I got on my knees and prayed to a God I wasn't sure would answer me
He did
He forgave me for the stupid **** I've become
Showing me it was time to move on
Breaking the cycle
It's human nature to want to help others
We can not help those who use, "the victim disease"
We all have our profound struggles
We should use them to grow, not become weakend bitter and filled with anger
A soul devouring our goals
I wanted some kind of complex defining way to move on
Instead the personal feelings are gone
I pick and choose the pieces I want to keep
Everything else is sitting in the fire pit, waiting to be incinerated

Change with the weather
Let the season be your guide
With every storm comes light
The rain cloud brings in new life, feeding the wildflowers hight
Our soul is the flower seed, let it believe
I breathe in my strength of femininity letting my leaves be the light

I over ponder
I'm a stapled down wanderer
That seems to be my problem

I only wish to be as innocent as three
In amazement about everything
So much beauty and questioning

Why is the world so big?

Why does daddy have to work again?

Why is there angry and mean human beings?

Why is the sky so big when I look up high?

Why?

I look at my precious little three knowing she knows more than me

I questioned tomorrow

Are you real or fake?
Am I afraid of you or do you make me stupid brave?
Do you love or hate?
Will you consider being easy on me?

Sadly, tomorrow had no reply

He just came

Day by day

Moment by moment

All I really can do is try to create my tomorrow today

His heart a setting desire
A holy man on fire
The ashes from his clothes hover overhead
Tarnished dry rain attached to eyelids
Blinding the ones admiring
He could've been loved
His demons were not friends
A lighter was no different
He screams in tortured relief
His body empty caressing the ground
A entity formed through headaches and torn garments
His need for her was never finished

My soul was hanging on his wine glass
He smirked as he grabbed my ***
One night of secret and lies between my thighs
I smiled as I looked into his eyes
Betrayal was my guide
My heart cried
He held my chin and whispered, "let's do it again"
My self doubt was in

Unblemished,

Is ugly

Ugly, is courageous

Courageous, is strength

Strength, is failure

Failure, is the state of being weak for far to long

Our mistakes,

Our darkest hours;

Create our conviction to purpose

The will we have chosen subconsciously

Some may suggest it's the spirit inside, knowing it's fight

Denial ponders its motion in rewind
Fire is mesmerizing, the touch is relentless
Forgiveness for most is a word,
Others believe it is a religious belief
Energy negative or positive,
You choose your understanding

Persistent as you hold a gushing flushed heart
A confused rhythm, tick, tick, ticking
Selfless, lifeless and desperate
Full of desire
Running naked through the fire
Inertwined through blinded happiness
Be the one others look at with resentment
The eruption of fate
Time to create

I have no history and I have no past
This passion will never last
So hand me the wine glass

Fake
A world prewritten
She planned on being unscripted
Her world is now unpredicted
She still knows someone else is in control
Depicted
Still a hope of making her own decisions
Yet there is nothing told
Destination unfolds
Still not powerless
She radiates greatness in a self-consciousness way
Expectance is decayed
Now only false hope and a piece of paper save the day

Call me
Falling
Parts of me can't be concrete
A disaster
Blast her
Crumbling
Break me
I am messy
Please forgive me
I am relentlessly *******
A nothing
Time to bow our heads for something
Amen

I am thoughtless speech
I am a reckless belief
I see beneath
The dead installed
controlled with no advance
I am doubt
My heart is in need
I am consumption left empty
I am free inhabited by fear
I am nothing
I am in everything
I am the more to my ego

I used to need a night light
You don't tuck me in
Something is broken
I like the silence
The deep secret
The dark
**** my heart
I feel the burn  
The shot is my only friend
The burn isn't a trend
It's where I pretend my life begins

Finding the boundaries that carry us away
The person we portray and the one we confine
Well mannered ****** deviant out of control
The urge to be perfect, held higher then a world on fire
burying her feet in the pit of the ashes with no meaning
Her skin thickened
A kiss from another comfort
A carressing finger tip
A body erratically pushing
Magnificently disturbed, naked on a decaying blanket
Eating burnt cookies and old tea, she will never leave
A foolish love
A half full comfort
She is destroyed and so is the universe circling her
A head held up and mouth forced shut by the whiskey bottle tape to her neck
Silence as she walks blessed
She is nothing but forgiveness

He continues  
She does not breathe
He pretends to be something
She is empty, covered in bright pink
He is weak but has fake sewn in between
Her emotions sit on her sleeve
She is vulnerable to everything
He pretends not to see
Both lying inside
Isn't this the way life is suppose to be

Passion in every position of life
A movement never deprived
Pick your existence carefully
Unique is misunderstanding the rules
Reconsider the energy you produce
Let the you of every aspect come through

I hurt

I bleed

I am a human being

I sometimes sit in a hot bath and cry

I feel words that speak

Speak wisdom and individuality

Others find my personality embarrassing

There is a select few who will see more to you

Your glory

Your strength

Your humanity


Those are the ones you should love dearly

Let go of those who want to hate because their insecurities taught them to fear

They need to conquer their own journey

If they win maybe they will gravitate back and you can start over once again

Until then you need to find your own path and let go of them

It is not selfishness but the right to find the direction you were meant to see

You are a human being

I don't know where I'm going

I don't even know if I'll still have a house to grow old

Life is a stumbling drunk who's trying to walk forward and make it home

I do know that life gives you opportunities out of moments we perceive as ugly

To see what it takes to always pull out beauty

To grasp what it is to live

To learn your bad qualities and build

Build a foundation out of hurt and pain

Grow it into strength

Until

You are concrete

You still have the option of crumbling

Good thing you can reseal and rebuild

Until you no longer disintegrate

and....

NOTHING

will break the entity you became

Vulnerable, is my fame
******* on my dreams
Acquaintances speculate, at my disbelief
Crucial moments,
I'll eat popcorn instead
Wasting, a life that was over spread
Blank raw abyss,
Left in loneliness
He picked me up,
Kisses
****** tension,
Consumes our bodies
His pants fall,
Pleasure pounding
Curled in a ball,
I scream
Tension built,
Release
My *******, I grip
Is it love or quality
Either way, we crave

I'm scared
There is no exact map,
It's just faith in us

I contemplate what I'd be
You seem to see me,
My flaws and all

Do I regret,
Not at all
We hold eachother as we fall

We fight, sometimes there is a broken light
You never gave up on me

I still feel your heart beating
We restored eachothers beaten
I am your heathen

We never asked for love in the end
I say there is no end,
just our beginning

I will hold your hand,
long as you smile while we die

Me

A human with needs

Hunger,
Lust and love

None will fill the void instigating justification

Insignificant, comes out as pride

Fix your jaw line and become one with life

We have a Long time of unexpected rides

"I ****** less", she said grabbing her lacey dress.
Her contrary dignity intact as she takes a sip of whiskey.
Walking out the door becoming the prominent mother everyone adores.
*** addict, she ignores.
No one sees the double life she hides so well.
Between the sheets of Monogamy and lustry gratification.
Her heart beats wildly out of control making her want to feed.
Possibly disfunctional programming involved.
She feels no need to anguish in the games she plays.
Love is where her happiness is.
*** is where her gut resides.

The freshes essence let's off a scent
A fragrance bold and fearless
Dumb and numb
Hopes higher then an egos design
Hold your breath
Here they come
A backpack harnessed snuggly, full of broken dreams and low self esteem
A misplaced jaw and no bra
They may look unfit
Don't be mistaken
The world is for the taking

The urge to feel guilty taunts your being
Contradiction fabricated to be easy
Calm an effortless nothing but emptiness  
Young doesn't come free
Excuse me, don't spill my drink
Confidence is a thin sliced arrogance  
Let the bold quake
The pass is always a day late
Step into the florescent light
Here the rumbling crowded sky
A chant only stripped royalty earned
******* fantastic isn't learned