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791 · Dec 2017
Somethings are done
Kara Jean Dec 2017
Over it
Stuck,
you don't give a ****
I clean,
I sweep
You don't see
You throw things at me
I must have a target that says give me,
I want things
Don't mind my feelings
Empty is my theme
Broken is my show
I always wanted an encore
I hope broad shoulders is all that and more
******* I'm going *******
Hope you find happiness in a *****
And yes I'm tired of endless *******
So please!
Leave me alone so I can sleep
777 · Jun 2016
Love for one or maybe two
Kara Jean Jun 2016
Trust me
Love me
Fight for me as night touches my life
I won't cry when you die
Not because I couldn't find the passion in yours eyes
Because twilight never sparkled when you cried
Be my savior, accept god never caressed me tenderly
Hold my hand, make my fingers tingly
Treat me like the first girlfriend you seen, turning so red and talking so bashfully
Be my soulmate until the end
Be more then a friend
Be the man I want to love
We blend chaotically  
We sit unstituated perfectly
Not looking to far from constantly
Also not looking so far from lonely
Nothing is never fixated ideally  
7 years of crazy interesting
I'm drunk so excuse the mistakes love
761 · Jun 2016
She walks alone
Kara Jean Jun 2016
A fluffy party dress
Pastels spiraling
Slivers of toes nails remain
Darken pain
His head hollowed
Her hands shake with remnants of his brain
It would be simple to blame evil
He was indebted and she was no longer patient
He could not value a jewel
A polished fool
She invited the ones craving
Like scavengers taking
Her skin sizzles in the ice cold sea
Her hair tender and breaking
She is dead with a spiritual drive
She warned the hosted heaven she wouldn't arrive
744 · Feb 2018
The man made of filth
Kara Jean Feb 2018
I decomposed my head
My eyes smile death
Forgiveness, never read
Choosing complex,
hell is where it lead
My body represents guidance
My mind, violence
I feel no panic, only silence
I bind my heart into the earth,
God is wordless
I am now dirt
Kara Jean May 2016
Everyone has this identity of what we are meant to be, but it does not come naturally. We must learn how to make it evolve.

This need festers deep inside our body and soul; making it hard to breathe, feeling as if you’re going to combust spontaneously.

In this very moment, the perfect epiphany wakes you as if in a deep sleep. It gives you the urge to write everything, especially your goals and dreams, hoping this will feed the want inside.

Everyone’s feelings of the want come differently.

For me, I feel this passion to make the earth quake enough to move mountains, in such an incredibly unique way.

To run as far as my legs will take me, until I feel as if I’m going break.

To love my children as gracefully and understandingly as I humanly can.

To grow in knowledge, while learning as passionately as my mind will grant me.

To let go of the hate an anger of the world.

To let it slide through my arms, down my finger tips, and into the ground where it belongs.

To not hurt others, but instead be a voice of kindness and strength.

To be what others are afraid of seeking and fighting to see.

To let go of all the animosity and pain, and fly free.

To harness and meditate the things that will feed my soul.

To dress strong and full of beauty as the women I venture to be.

By this I will go far. It’s not a question or a maybe; it is a statement to the world that this is who I will be.
This was the first poem I ever post online. It holds a very special place in my heart.
638 · Oct 2016
We will find it
Kara Jean Oct 2016
She's a lost girl grounded towards home
She holds the sharp air in deep
She will let go
Negativity never seemed befitting,


when you're so close to living
609 · Jan 2018
No more talking
Kara Jean Jan 2018
I make these plans for every strand
My dreams
My belief
I only seem to fold
My corners always seem uneven
I have these beautiful intentions
I am destructive to my health, leaving me unconducive
A **** show
Welcome to my production
585 · Apr 2017
Could be
Kara Jean Apr 2017
I like self-pity unconsciously
I have no friends because I'm me
Enthusiastic hopes and dreams dissipate so easily
Not sure why the universe acts like I could be something
The world is cold and owes nothing
When you are misconstrued and used confusion is happy
Reinventing is a thing Not sure if it's for me
585 · Jul 2016
To be three
Kara Jean Jul 2016
I over ponder
I'm a stapled down wanderer
That seems to be my problem

I only wish to be as innocent as three
In amazement about everything
So much beauty and questioning

Why is the world so big?

Why does daddy have to work again?

Why is there angry and mean human beings?

Why is the sky so big when I look up high?

Why?

I look at my precious little three knowing she knows more than me
Kara Jean Jun 2018
I grew my hair long, that's what you're suppose to do when your blonde
I am antispation gone wrong
I have a plan it is not glad, instead we get sad
Nothing sealing
Nothing concealed, we have a plan
I went cold, no one knows
Would you like more cries with, "do what you're told"
The night is blind and I'm unkind, let's makes one more feast,
I can pretend to be happy
Relax, there is no ending
569 · Aug 2016
Day
Kara Jean Aug 2016
Day
Young
Lost
and
Crazy
God made me this way
Sad, without an understanding
I only hope not to disappear
My dream is to show perseverance
My only prayer is to be a purpose that is clear
Some kind of force show me the way
Tomorrow is my day
569 · Jun 2018
Memoirs of a drunk girl
Kara Jean Jun 2018
You're sickening, kisses like  cyanide

I hide, from a world guesstimating

A potentional of none

The different is done

Procrastination is fun

Imagination is hung

Ticky tack in our lack, it's to late to go back

Steadily we stand, no need to navigate

I won't hesitate

The mundane has won
542 · Jul 2016
Day one of self inspiration
Kara Jean Jul 2016
To not try is giving into defeat

To try is an opening for possibilities
I'm making a goal to write a motivational quote a day for myself. While I do so I will be posting them here.
538 · May 2018
I brought fine wine
Kara Jean May 2018
I died
You shoved my head down and I won't fight
You needed my heighth
I needed your plenty,
we sit still empty
A world of more, although we feel poor
We hit that Whammy
Thank God the devil is cunning
No possession just an impression
I'm a point away from saying, "ok you can have it your way"
Tonight I breathe tight and sleep with one eye
Cheers to my fright
I am always prepared for that last bite
533 · Jun 2016
Thoughts
Kara Jean Jun 2016
Letting people take control of my emotional state
I did something I told myself was probaby fake
I got on my knees and prayed to a God I wasn't sure would answer me
He did
He forgave me for the stupid **** I've become
Showing me it was time to move on
Breaking the cycle
It's human nature to want to help others
We can not help those who use, "the victim disease"
We all have our profound struggles
We should use them to grow, not become weakend bitter and filled with anger
A soul devouring our goals
I wanted some kind of complex defining way to move on
Instead the personal feelings are gone
I pick and choose the pieces I want to keep
Everything else is sitting in the fire pit, waiting to be incinerated
Kara Jean Jan 2018
My heart breaks

I start to suffocate from the pain

My brain starts to drain,

A sludged up don't give of a ****

We hold on to tidbits, secrets

We try not to complain

We all have a demon who sits comfortably,

We pretend not to see

He knows and he has no empathy

The world is not ready for this meet and greet

So get ready
504 · Nov 2017
Who cares
Kara Jean Nov 2017
I used to need a night light
You don't tuck me in
Something is broken
I like the silence
The deep secret
The dark
**** my heart
I feel the burn  
The shot is my only friend
The burn isn't a trend
It's where I pretend my life begins
500 · Aug 2016
I'm off
Kara Jean Aug 2016
I seem to regret many things
Writing unimportant feelings isn't one of them
So for now this is my break
Wish me luck and the power to behave
If there is confusion I'm taking a break. Haha not getting a big break.
496 · Oct 2017
My little man
Kara Jean Oct 2017
I sat there in pain waiting for my little being
I heard you scream
My heart couldn't breathe
The moment your blues locked with mine you were my everything
My crazy baby,
strong and full of love
I knew you could do anything
Jumping off of what you could find,
you make my anxiety climb
Yet I only see my sweet baby
You grow nightly
I know it's the routine
Yet I cry
I cry because I know one day you won't need me
I know you will grow,
becoming something
I only hope to water your dreams so they to will grow, being;
honest
sweet and
true
Mommy loves you
To my sweet little man
495 · Nov 2017
We thought
Kara Jean Nov 2017
Call me
Falling
Parts of me can't be concrete
A disaster
Blast her
Crumbling
Break me
I am messy
Please forgive me
I am relentlessly *******
A nothing
Time to bow our heads for something
Amen
487 · Apr 2021
Keep trying
Kara Jean Apr 2021
She tilts her head in the mirror
Her eye spark is near
Hell let's her know they own that glowing soul
She holds her chin up, "to bad I'm unattainable"
476 · Feb 2018
The night is young
Kara Jean Feb 2018
My eyes seem to not be right 

My perception is paranoid

I wonder how to feel this void 

I may have hit a wall

This would explain why I lay sprawled out in vain

A soul with a vital source of despair 

This is a pitty party and I don't care 

Alone, glad to be at home

We create our energy,

mine is a big box of wine

Can you please be silent and hand me a straw

I promise I'll be fine
Kara Jean May 2016
The truth is
A perceptive view
Obligated, a better you
455 · May 2018
Confessed
Kara Jean May 2018
Born indebted
Pretty and inconspicuous,
bullheaded woman

"Be petite"
"Be sweet"

Mormonism imbedded
Background created, disfigured with no accountability
They proclaim, "we have humility"

Here she comes, the one who is done
A demon who has just begun
A fallen angel with its halo still hung

Not a threat, only desolate
Pink dress is a signature for a distinguished mess
A force of reconstruction

A taste of death
Nothing else left
The master of her hell
She will prevail
God confessed
450 · Feb 2018
You
Kara Jean Feb 2018
You
I'm scared
There is no exact map,
It's just faith in us

I contemplate what I'd be
You seem to see me,
My flaws and all

Do I regret,
Not at all
We hold eachother as we fall

We fight, sometimes there is a broken light
You never gave up on me

I still feel your heart beating
We restored eachothers beaten
I am your heathen

We never asked for love in the end
I say there is no end,
just our beginning

I will hold your hand,
long as you smile while we die
442 · Mar 2019
The devil is here tonight
Kara Jean Mar 2019
His depths are following
His sins are hollowing
His features are detering like a good horror feature
He comes in with regrets
He is a leaders of, "let's"
He has no conciouse
No sense , just enthusiasm and a great suit
We all love to follow and say, "it's totally ok"
He is your dismay
We counter it with our fake great
Now let's pray
Rain will prevent the decay
God will know,
you like the delay
428 · May 2018
Golden
Kara Jean May 2018
Victim of circumstances
The past, she glances
A mirror of nightmares she can't take
The edges are unstable
Standing on a table, mangled
A bladed cycle never claimed
Her feral heart breaks
Her soul lays in a ash tray
God has no shame
She reconciles
A chance for denial
Her fire is fame
Wiping her vane tears,
announcing her fears with a smile
424 · Jan 2018
Who's to know
Kara Jean Jan 2018
He continues  
She does not breathe
He pretends to be something
She is empty, covered in bright pink
He is weak but has fake sewn in between
Her emotions sit on her sleeve
She is vulnerable to everything
He pretends not to see
Both lying inside
Isn't this the way life is suppose to be
420 · Oct 2018
Crazy Bitch
Kara Jean Oct 2018
Sanity is thin

Surrendering like a dead fish trying to swim

A sold soul long ago, for nicotine and a guy who can't sing

Bursted dreams, mentally obscene

Standing on the ledge of a predestined date, coming to terms with the urge of free falling into fate

Death seems ok when your cards are out played

Her demon green eyes staring up into the sky

The river seems pretty high

A lifeless crazy ***** in her death bed

God cries, "why"

The devil smiles, "not to night, we have one last fight"
398 · May 2019
Cheers to my defeat
Kara Jean May 2019
The deeper I go the cheaper my soul
I feel the suffication of my existence setting in
How easy it is to hide
No one gives a **** about your cries
Jesus blessed my sin, I'm just hell bent
Here's to the broken life again
393 · Dec 2018
Finally
Kara Jean Dec 2018
I could finally conform
Let it set in
The medicine taking hold
Having that big grin
Fake and thin, that's the win

******
"just mold"
"Fit in"

Lifeless no statement of boldness
Only coldness

Finally one win
356 · Jan 2018
Life hurts
Kara Jean Jan 2018
My heart hurts
I have to close the door
My soul will never let go
I will miss those little fingers picking at my nose
I will hold those memories close
I pray for your greatness and strength
God only knows
He only knows where life will go
I only know my heart hurts
I hope you rise against
Against life
This cycle is cold
God only knows
He knows where life will go
331 · Mar 2018
Feeling Elegant Tonight
Kara Jean Mar 2018
Daily digression helps my digestion
I travel farther down this crazed obscurity I'm a madman dressed in pink
I preferred structure,
sadly it didn't like me
I color outside the lines oh so eloquently
My invitation is divine
Stipulations, no touching
I apologize
I'm not sharing my wine,
only my insecurities
329 · May 2018
No thanks
Kara Jean May 2018
Anxiety kisses me
I have a need to retreat,
instead I give in
I blend into a world I don't believe in

He has nice eye brows
She sweats transgressions
Make believe is kind of my thing
**** me,
**** me over
I detach easily,
there is no gain
Would you like a large fry with my pain

I have a head filled with old angst
Angst that seems to gravitate
Walk by me,  I am today
I dissipate like rain,
noticeable but nothing to gain

Happiness is the chase  
We have no frames, no imprints
An unnoticeable fame

I have a crayon crown stained
No presents
I can't be tamed
I combined two of my old poems and more.
327 · Aug 2016
Life and why
Kara Jean Aug 2016
I see the tears well up in the corner of your eyes
I see your soul wants to go
More dedicated but no place to climb

Tell me please
What is the difference between us and them?

Fear

It seems to be king over many
322 · May 2019
Just a sob story
Kara Jean May 2019
I am fixated, fascinated with my death
The chilled breath as I enter hell
The twigs snapping under my bare feet as I sweep past the trees
The innocence drained as I hang

The pass hasn't always been that bad
My future ran cold
Death is my best friend
We have late night dinner dates, reminiscing on my mistakes

I know how to die
Living is untried
I may have to see where I end up tonight
285 · Jun 2019
Distortion
Kara Jean Jun 2019
Her morphed view took her heart
Shot her mind
Eyes hold the fear of defeat
Bipolar is a deadbeat and I hold all of this inside of me
267 · Oct 2019
Dusk in the middle of day
Kara Jean Oct 2019
I love the dark distance breeze.
I picture it swaying me with the trees,
My feet dangling beneath me.
My hair is darkened like my soul.
Hell is waiting for my fury.
204 · May 2021
Grief
Kara Jean May 2021
I'm aware of distance I enforced on my heart
My throat chose to hold in the pain
I am not the same
I smile, my eyes show the fear
My body screams, "get up!"
The rest of me doesn't hear
Your last words were,  "be brave"
Instead I sit here and cry in my cave
The things I want to accomplish just remind me you're not here
"Dad if your listening I'm not ok, atleast not today"
182 · Jan 2020
Her words
Kara Jean Jan 2020
The anguish has no reply
Deceit is lovely in a one story line
Her misery is the climb
Her doubt is the rhyme
173 · Jan 2020
Heels and Coffee
Kara Jean Jan 2020
Chaos
Unaware blank stares
A smile while crying
A whirlwind of great
The broken taste
Her mascara holds in the shame
Her tempterment seems tamed
One more claim as she feeds the beast
She puts on her pink and mom Jean's
"Good morning, here's breakfast and tea"
Love of the mundane
The wild nature is plain
161 · Dec 2020
Demented and calming
Kara Jean Dec 2020
A demented hippie queen
The flowery thornes deeply wraps her torso,
she bleeds
She rubs it in the stained dress stepping so elegantly
Smirking at the roses nip
Sipping her tea nonchalantly,
The universe continuing to breathe
She knows the world is unforgiving
There is no return course
She rides her dark horse
The full moon guides her as she treads blindly,
hoping to find her a place to be free
161 · Dec 2019
Two in the morning
Kara Jean Dec 2019
My soul was hanging on his wine glass
He smirked as he grabbed my ***
One night of secret and lies between my thighs
I smiled as I looked into his eyes
Betrayal was my guide
My heart cried
He held my chin and whispered, "let's do it again"
My self doubt was in
149 · Sep 2020
The river knows me
Kara Jean Sep 2020
The rivers knows me,
an aspiration with pain thrown in

She wants to exist
Feeding the wild, rapidly free

Man has his own fate
He takes her rights

She fights,
soaking up every drop from the sky

He needs to feed the envy

She has dry tears in her muddy puddle up fear

Mocked by the image of life,
she had once thrived
  
The world turns an eye in disgust

Her only objective was to nourish and love
131 · Jan 2020
Abstract Personality
Kara Jean Jan 2020
Purple dew in her hair casting hues of memories
Fair skinned with a wanna be tan
Standing still, amused by her humility
Candid personality in her hands
A mom without a plan
Compassion sits on her ripped Jean's and tugs at her plain tee
Love's sweet
Time is ugly
115 · Nov 2020
Thoughts that came to me
Kara Jean Nov 2020
Change with the weather
Let the season be your guide
With every storm comes light
The rain cloud brings in new life, feeding the wildflowers hight
Our soul is the flower seed, let it believe
I breathe in my strength of femininity letting my leaves be the light

— The End —