She thought she had it;
Significance

Muddy dress, an outfit depressed

The sunshine blinds

A use for her view

Then realistic features come walking in

Scolded shoulders tower over

Her fishnets and black lipstick hide her
mildewed heart

She fights

Fighting submerged her feelings

Numbing the pain she became hate

Hate became her soul

A control

A defense

A way to save her from death

To bad the devil has a toll

A fee

He envies ugly

Bitterness seems to be the ego of my tongues taste buds
The story of life never really begun
The future is torn by what we have become
I still stand proudly holding congratulation balloons and chewing gum
I pop the bubble as I hum a song
Not noticing the buzzard telling me to move on
The ghost seems to place himself next to my feet
whispering with every step he sees
Trying to show me my deceit
Although I walk careless or maybe hopelessly
Encouraging myself the future is still bright
When in reality it is only fake highlights
Held together with dead ends and a burnt head
We have no other opportunity
Only a possibility of being the lucky one
I lose my fun as I sit here popping my chewing gum

I am humbled by where I need to go
So I can go where I need to be
I hear someone following me
May it be god or a spiritual being
I am incapable of looking back
So I hope the universe cuts me off and takes the
lead
If not it's just me and the baggage full of could of bes
Holding me down as I drag it across the ground
At least my wine makes me drown
Only to make my eyes wide
To see it always was the devil next to me

I'm learning
Learning to be human
To color in the lines
To not be my emotional centered self
To be like the rest
No multy colored leggings
No braids in the middle of my head
No me
No you
Plain blue jeans

To bad...

I'm failing.....

No one seems to be able to change my crazy

I sit still in anticipation of another try

Still....

I sit with a satisfied mind of who I am meant to be

Instability

It helps me sleep at night

I am a mess

It will be my accomplishment if today ends