Why do I **** up every time
I bring trouble everywhere
No matter what
Trouble finds me
It haunts me
Always
No matter what i do
It will never change
That's how my life works
Why was i born?
Why am I here?
Do i need to stay?
Cant this pain just go away?
It's always the same
Day in and day out
It'll never change
That's how my life is
If I cut well that change anything?
No
It will cause regret
But i need to
I know it won't help but I deserve it

All these thoughts running through my mind
Racing
Running
Over and over
When will it stop
It never will
Are they happy??
Are they mad at me??
Are they lying??
I dont know
Im sure they're fine
No they can't be
They should be mad at me
Im not enough
They're mad at me
Why
What did I do?

Where are they when I need them?
When Im feeling down
When idk what to do
Why aren't they online
When I miss them so much
When I want to talk to them
Why can't I hug them?
Show them just how much they mean to me
Show how I feel

Im sorry....
Im sorry im not enough...
Im sorry i cant be there....
Im sorry i cant be what you need.....
Im sorry i cant give you what you need..... im so sorry....
Im sorry i cant provide what you need..... im sorry...
Im sorry...
Sorry...

Those thoughts are back.
Everytime I think it's gone
It'll just come back
I think I'm over it
But then i realize I'm not
I think I'm fine now
But im not
The thoughts will always come back.
The thoughts and feelings that haunt me
They won't go away
They never stay away..

Why do I always feel like I've done something wrong?
Like everyone is always mad at me
That I've done something to make you upset with me.
What have I done?
Just tell me and I fix it
I swear I'll fix it
Please
Please tell me what I've done wrong
I promise I'll fix it
I fix whatever you need me to fix
Don't leave
Not like this
Please

I try to hold my feelings in
To ignore the pain that I hide
The thoughts and feelings are so overwhelming
I try and try but they never stop
I need to feel
Although I don't want to
I need to keep going no matter what