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Dark and quiet..As I sit here at night.
Not a sound to be heard.
Outside of my memories which cry out
I have tried so hard to communicate
and as the sun , stay bright.
The scenes of people walking out on me or scolding me while I
was at my best...
I hang my head in these hours..
as insomnia cruel beats me to rest.
I have people who tell me what or how I should escape
the nightmares unfolding in my life.
They fail to understand that they are not in my shoes.
Forced ways and forced lessons cuts into me
like a knife.
I wish I could have a middle ground.
Where both in a situation prosper
The other doesn't have to fall.
I feel as if when I try to stand up
rather than lie down and wave a white flag...
Those stubborn souls pound my emotions  like
I'm a soccer ball...
I can run about and meet everyone else's goals..
In the end , the game is out of time.
I have lost that winning point.
I end up losing my place in success' line.
I try to express myself and feel comfort in my own
realistic zones....
The opposing team interrupts my relaxed state..
Only to demand another replay..
Horses to finish a race from the starting gate.
Around and around in a circle they go.
Such in my life...I too...
I seem to run.
Victories lead back to the beginning of the circle..
The others win points and earn the win to be free..
Now the quiet and empty hours in which I sit in the dark
Slowly **** my heart like a wilted flower.
If only I could be allowed to blossom and not have to
Play to win these games...
I wouldn't hold my energies of fear in and simply explode.
Bow I await my destiny for yet another sunrise...
I am almost fearful for what will be the suprise.
Although people look and think they know me
Inside of my heart, there is so much more to be seen.
Things never are what they appear to be.
So, I try and work to stay true.
The mess on the outside that you have assumed to be the inner me.
When I look at another, I get to know the person and see through their appearance.
Their act.
Like a play on Broadway
I tend to read the script until such days...
When those who misunderstand what I am out of fear
What they fail to see as what I appear in the mirror...
One day, as I grow and stray to those truer,those controlling
Those pushy and demanding ones...shall feel the empty spot where
once I stood...
It will be then, when the inner me, shall be seen even more clearer.
You sure have shown me.
Grown ups acting like children.
Childishly seeking to weigh another soul  down..
Through exploiting their weaknesses in the crowds..
and flaunting things that make another sad....
Since they assume you cannot have what they own.
Let them wear these  Rusty Crowns.
On their seats of thorns.
In their empty Kingdom..
I deserve the best out of life.
Truth, success, love, intimacy, and all that I do rightfully yearn for.
Such enlightened rewards which I have worked so very hard, to earn.
Through my true selfless nature and deep fondness of being the less violent and the  more kind....
Of  being this sort of sweet spirited person.
At times such is a curse.
As the corrupt take advantage of such.
They take from me too much....
Energies....
Happiness.....
Enjoyment of life....
Until I snap out of their trance and strike back.
I turn away....They receive some bad Karma.
I work onward, as me. Succeeding.
Such visions of such cuts them ,slowly,like a knife.
Now, more than ever, I "Look Before I leap."
For not everyone is what they appear.
When I need some one.
When they stab me in the back as I sleep.
Their actions prove their jealousy and yearning.....
For me to be below their childish and wicked level....
Let them think that they have it "all."
Looking back, I laugh at what "least of what is important,"
in their lives...
That they wish that I could  have  had.
For, it was not me who kept the good ones out.
The bad ones simply forgot the universal password.
Which was kindness, trust, and truthiness.
For them  to see, me ,get what I have needed.
Such keeps them out in the cold..
The warmer ones are with me...
Outside their  walls.
Us bigger hearts...The "Stronger" and the more "Bolder."
The
Soul
Of
The
Soul
Of
The
Universe
Is
Love
When
You
Seek
Love
With
All
Your
Heart
You
Shall
Find
Its
Echoes
In
The universe
In
Every
Vase
One
Single
Flower
It
Can be
My
Spring
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