A puzzle which was once complete now lacks the most picturesque of pieces.

One day I will ask
you to do a simple task,
of loving me back.

Brown hair, I declare
Green eyes, I love and despise
Tan skin, count me in

I sit atop my bed
Filled with hopeless dread
Wondering what life would be like
If I myself were liked
What if I was popular
What if I was cool
What if I made all the boys at school drool
Instead I'm sitting on my bed
Watching baby birds get fed
Wishing I were dead

Fear,
What makes me walk down other hallways to avoid communication.
Fear,
When I step on the scale and gain weight.
Fear,
When my mother asks me why the knife is on the bathroom sink.
Fear,
Seeing my face in the mirror.
Fear,
Hearing my name called to make a presentation.
Fear,
When a friend asks me if I'm okay.
Fear,
When I'm home alone and my mind starts scaring me.
Fear,
That feeling in my stomach before I go to school.
Fear,
What stops me from participating in events.
Fear,
Thinking that they will find out.
Fear,
What is slowly killing me.
Fear.

He's only 11 and he says he's psychotic.
He says that nobody likes him, but he's okay with that.
He probably plays in his yard alone,
doesn't have anyone to talk to on the phone.
I see cuts on his wrist, visible proof of the risk.
He uses his ADHD as an excuse, one can observe he's hiding the abuse.
He's excluded from everything, he wants to die
but he needs to spread his wings and fly!
Instead he takes the other's opinions to heart,
tearing his body slowly apart...

Eating less and less,
exercising with no rest,
is this happiness?

How do I balance
school, exercise, family
and friends all at once?

Small ****
Big hips
Crooked smile
Slow denial
Fat face
I can't erase
Thin hair
Great despair
Green eyes
Sad goodbyes
Wide nose
Legs closed
Ugly face
A disgrace
Brown skin
I can't live in
Broken heart
I need to restart

One day I will feel love running through my body
One day I will see the beauty in me
One day I will dance with the stars in harmonized choreography
One day I will wake at the start of dawn and frolic with all of the young fawns
One day I will inspire happiness and expire love
One day my voice will sing with the doves the song of earth's awakening
One day I will find shelter in the grass
One day I will run away and never come back

You're rotten. You're horrible.
The feeling of insecurity descends upon me like the angel of death descended upon the Egyptians.
Depression, suicidal thoughts come to me the way that the answers to incredibly hard math problems come to geniuses.
I fight to push them away but they cut through my sanity with claws razor sharp.
The innocence of my childhood has faded into the moral corruption of adolensence.
The purity of girlhood has been slashed by the hardships of teenage life.
I try to keep my eyes pealed for the target but alas I'm losing focus and am hearing the screams of other's souls.
I hear someone moan, I realize the moan came from deep within me.
This wasn't a nightmare anymore it was sheer reality.
Reality had settled my fate.

Oh please let this be a dream
Lord I know you hear my screams,
Free me from my thoughts.
Lord they're around the corner,
Lord they're under the bed.
Lord why did I allow the demons to be fed?
I should have taken you as my guide.
Lord wash me with your blood,
Lord be my sole supply,
But Lord I really want to die.

But....
Your love is stronger than my thoughts, more persistant than the demons.
Lord I believe you can tame this monster, for you have cured the leprous and healed the blind.
Lord I believe you can lengthen my time.

Y'all need Jesus

Lost in her thoughts
while smiling at me
She was giving up hope
that I could see
I wanted to tell her
how much I care
Not knowing exactly
how I would fare
Her eyes flickered
reminiscent of a green sea
But I knew deep inside
she was crying on one knee
Begging her Heavenly Father
that she wouldn't veer
Her Father comforting her
saying he was near
I wanted to hug her
and stay by her side
All the while
wanting to cry
For she didn't see
the beauty she had
Instead she thought herself ugly making her sad
But with the greatest
gift at hand
She was going to make
a valiant stand
One for her Father
who stood by her side
For this reason
I knew she'd survive
Although there is still
an ache in my soul
I know she has a Father
she can always uphold
She will overcome
the struggle at hand
I know she will make
a valiant stand

As I pop these ***** little pills,
my soul is unaware it's becoming quite ill.
The doctor said I'd be fine, but instead I'm slowly losing my time.
Sitting, thinking, my heart in hopeless decline.
Laying, reminiscing, wanting to rewind.
My thoughts less frequent,
the more pills I take.
I wouldn't have started to take them
if I knew what was at stake.
My soul slowly taking the bate,
Maybe this was really my fate?
My mind is being beckoned from dark shadows to light gray.
What about the bright sun shining day?
Why is it becoming more and more gray?
What exactly am I feeling?
For with what feelings am I dealing?
You lied and said pills were the solution.
You started this ***** revolution!
It was you who gave my mind this illusion,
my brain becoming more and more in confusion.
Don't ever say pills will help again!
For this could very well be the end....

How could they take you away
Your strength was able to move mountains in my heart
Your sincerity cut the load from my back and
Your resilience made me question my silly doubts

Your absence has deepened the hole in my heart
and
I fear another blow will split me apart
Without you my life will contain an unshakable sorrow
Without you I shan't be able to face tomorrow

You anger me more
than anyone I know
But you're always on my mind
when I'm feeling low
I fell in love with you slowly
From age eleven to seventeen when
your voice dropped to a lower key
Your voice stuck in my head when pitched high and low
I thought of you even when you were chubby with flow
But now you've grown up and become a man
Whilst I am still a little girl with no plan
Although I still think about you day and night
It is a secret that requires all of my might
For if I confided my dreams about you
I would hurt a good friend
Which I guess isn't new
Please stop asking my dad about me
For we both know we were never meant to be