Who would you choose?
The one you love?
Or
The one who loves you?
(mahal mo o mahal ka?)

The man of your dreams?
Or
The man who can and will make your dreams come true?

Ever heard of the child that could solve
complex puzzles when she was just 2?
...
That was my sister
- - - - - -
Ever heard of the child that spoke gibberish until
he was just 4?
...
That was me

- - - - - - - - - -

Time after Time
All I've heard from
Mom and Dad
was
"Wow, look at your sister go!"
and
"Why can't you be more like your sister?"
...
Academics. Music. Friends.
Sister had them all
Failure. Failure. Failure.
Was all that was labeled onto me

Sure, call me the dominant gene
but height isn't a special thing
- - - - - - - - - - - -
No drugs. No curse words. No alcohol
Is all that we probably share as siblings
But I guess, to parents...
that's nothing special

Sometimes, I am very convinced
that I was just to live my life
as shadow of a wanted child
cause truth be told
I was never expected

Maybe, I don't understand what it means
time after time again, I've been told
"You've done enough"
....
WHAT DOES THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
....
When I love too much
When I love too little
When I cry too much
When I cry too little
When I fight too much
When I fight too little
When I care too much
When I care too little
....
Sometimes, It's not enough
what I think is enough
cause what I do is never enough
Sometimes, I've had enough
of what people say
"enough"

I'm sorry
I've been saying this to you over and over again
I'm sorry
Sometimes, I feel that it loses it's meaning but
I'm sorry
We tried to apologize for things we did and
I'm sorry
That you apologized for things that you didn't do
I'm sorry
Maybe, I'm still too immature to understand what you want
I'm sorry
That I'm not the kind soul that you claim that I am
I'm sorry
For not meeting up to your expectations
I'm sorry
That I'm apologizing without knowing what I did wrong
I'm sorry
For the world being so cruel to you
I'm sorry
For being a coward
I'm sorry
That I don't even know what to say anymore
I'm sorry
That "I'm sorry" has lost its meaning

Have you seen a really fat kid
sitting along the far corners of the cafeteria?
Or a kid in the waiting area by himself
reading books or staring into the blank space?
Not to forget the kid being bullied
in the bathroom just because he came to school today?
...
I was them. Well... I'm still them at times
(Most of the time actually)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It's not that I didn't like talking to people
People just didn't talk to me
I honestly didn't know what to say to people
People didn't know what to say to me

Apparently, Quantum Mechanics wasn't really
a topic 6th Graders talked about
and Classical Music isn't something
that kids my age were fans of

I've lived like that my entire childhood
Until one day, I told myself off
One day, I woke up saying
"Someday, someone will talk to me"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
So I guess, it'd be funny to honestly say that
I used to take notes of people around me
I kept a notebook around before
that had all the things that could help me
get to know someone more

I confess that I used to practice speaking a lot
I used to practice on a mirror
of what to say to other people,
especially when they're not feeling okay

I used to talk to myself all the time
Usually of what to say when someone
feels a certain feeling like anger, hurt, or hate
Joy, love, sadness... I've practiced words a lot
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I did all this just for one reason
Practiced  day and night and fought through agony
All I wanted ever since I was a child
was to gain a friend