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Awake and alone the little boy lies. Darkness gathers, eclipsed only by the shroud befalling his soul.

He shakes, ever so slightly, then the crescendo grows.....gathering momentum with each passing moment. Soon, he shakes uncontrollably, as would a freezing man. He squeezes himself into an ever tighter circle, fighting in vain to stop his trembling.

He clamps his eyes shut ever tighter, so tight it hurts.... a futile effort to stop the hot tears beginning to streak down his face. Slowly his resolve melts, his scant remaining strength leaves him.

He sobs, gently, nearly silently. The walls come falling down, the fear rushes in. He presses face harder against the pillow, muting the sound of his cries. No must hear, no one.

Somewhere in the dark, cold chill of the night, his sobs cease. He drifts out of consciousness and into the abyss of dreams. His only escape, his only refuge.

All to soon, the bright light of the morning sun breaks through the night, announcing a new day. And his cold, stark reality begins anew.
 Jan 2014 Jordan Robertson
carmen
It all kind of hurts
Ok not kind of
it really hurts.
And it hurts more often than it doesn’t
But when it doesn’t
Oh, let me tell you about when it doesn’t hurt.
When I can feel the air I breathe
The languid drifting thoughts just before sleep
Those incredible moments when the only tears rolling down my cheeks are happy ones
When it doesn’t hurt, I see myself as limitless. Boundless.
I can be confident.
I feel beautiful, and loved.
The sweet world wraps its arms around me
And I am safe.
But it all kind of hurts
And that hug becomes a chokehold
And I feel ugly and ignored.
I am scared
When it hurts I am limited and trapped
And the tears turn into sobs
Making the thoughts of the night, terrors
And
I
Can’t
Breathe
 Jan 2014 Jordan Robertson
carmen
I make lists
to organize my life into lines
on a page
some lists are for groceries
others for wishes
I make lists of "to do's"
for the satisfaction of crossing them off
I scribble thoughts onto paper in the late hours of the night
I make lots of lists
of things I'm grateful for
of goals still awaiting their accomplishment

to remind myself I exist

I guess it's also a form of obsessive compulsiveness
that comes with not knowing who you are
or being unsure of where you're going
I make lists
to slowly, deliberately, write myself into a person
cp
 Jan 2014 Jordan Robertson
carmen
A constant stream of justifiable lies. Contorts what I want from my life.
What used to seem impossible is now my reality
but I'm not so sure I want it anymore
because it is different
so different than what I thought it would be

Is it worth the games I'm forced to play in order to dream?

Today is hard but tomorrow will be worse because I will wake up to hate
reflected back at myself

There are so many things I should do. There are so many things I should want.
Do we not define our own success? Each to their own version of happiness?

But all I keep thinking is
I shouldn't be eating
cp
Fear has been eating me up inside.
I'm a dancer who is  not sure she can stand another glance in the mirror.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
I remember just yesterday I said,
I was going to change my life
My Future is Tomorrow and it's almost here
Can I really change my life Today before
Tomorrow gets here,Yesterday I decided to make a
Change to prepare for Today my Future is
Tomorrow and it's one day away
Yesterday I had a dream but it was about
Today,really it was about Tomorrow when
I had it Yesterday,Yesterday is over
Today is coming to an end
Tomorrow will start and I can do it again
Yesterday And Today will come and go
Do I actually even know if Tomorrow will show
GOD Blessed me Yesterday to wake up Today
So to GOD for Tomorrow I PRAY
Today is Yesterday, Tomorrow is Today
But if you think about it,it's just one day
   PAST,PRESENT,FUTURE..
Is always here do PEOPLE really
Understand what Tomorrow is
The Past is the second that just passed by
The Present is the second that just arrived
The Future is the second that will always come
Yesterday Today Tomorrow is all in one
SO LIVE YOUR LIFE TODAY BECAUSE
       TOMORROW NEVER COME !
 Jan 2014 Jordan Robertson
Dánï
It's sad that as we grow up the brightness in our eyes dims,
Our faith and hope gradually slim.

The stars disappear, they aren't as bright,
It all becomes opaque, the caliginous night.

Our voices get softer, our fear louder,
We prefer to be lonesome, oh we're such downers.

The last of our emotions drip out, the color in our skin drains out,
You don't hear not a sound out of us, though trust me, we want to scream and shout.

Our hearts expand but get quieter,
Filled with sorrow- heavy yet at the same time lighter.

We become so very lost,
We yearn for happiness, though we all know it'll cost.

Can't help but feel scared, paranoid,
We'll do anything to help fill the void.

We feel an emptiness in us- start missing nothing,
We want to learn how to trust, give us something..

It's sad that as we grow up the brightness in our eyes dims,
Our faith and hope gradually slim.
-d.***
And then the day came,
when the risk
to remain tight
in a bud
was more painful
than the risk
it took
to Blossom.
Broken heart,
Tired eyes.
But a smile
is her demise.

It hides what lies within
while her cover grows even more thin.

And a tear falls down in the middle of class,
That cover now as useful
as shattered glass.

But she picks up the peices,
And puts them in her pocket.
Saving them for later,
When the *demons scream loudest
The thrill of opportunity has opened the door,
But I know opportunity has deceived me before.
I cannot see the view from here ground,
but trees limbs look weak and unsound.

Should I just travel to the town
and take a look around
experience the sound
and live unbound.

I am unsure,
so I lay my head upon the hard floor,
and watch the day become no more,
and wonder what tomorrow has in store.

For maybe opportunity will call once more.
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