As long as the blue ocean
Expands the horizon,
Engulfs ships, and
Lets fish roam amongst
The swirling tides,
I will always love you.

And as long as the sun
Shines from up above,
Sprinkling joy into
Our lives like the
Sunflower petals
do your hair,
I will always love you.

As long as the red fire
Rages from down below
And the white serenity
Gives a blissful calm
From up ahead,
I will always love you.

As long as the green
From the treetops
Sways in the wind,
And as long as the
Children can play
In the glorious grass,
I will always love you.

As long as the gray
Mountains soar up above,
Waiting to be climbed,
I will always love you.

As long as the scent of
Lavender, purple and sweet,
Fills the air,
In a mist of magnificence,
I will always love you.

As long as the night,
Silent and mysterious,
Lets us rest, and leave
Our worries behind,
If only just for tonight,
I will always love you.

And as long as the
Autumn leaves fall,
Year after year,
Fluttering down
Like a gentle storm,
I will always love you.
Forever, and ever,
I will.

I like to believe that all people
Are good.
Are kind.
Are human.

But days like today
it's hard to believe.

It's hard to distrust yourself.
To want to believe so badly
that what you know is the truth.

That people are inherently good.
That people are inherently kind.
That people believe that other people
are human.
Are in the same boat.

But yet,
we belittle.
We mock.
We hate.

And why?
Why would someone need to do harm?
Want to do harm?
Why would someone
want to belittle?
Want to mock?
Want to hate?

Why don't others want good?
Want kindness?
Want love?

We learn the golden rule when we are little.
Treat others how you want to be treated.
Is this how you want to be treated?
This is not right.
This is wrong.
Hate is wrong.
You are wrong.

Does that mean that I am correct?
Absolutely not.
One thing I have learned,
one thing I hate to admit,
is that people are never an extreme.
People are never truly, utterly evil,
but they aren't inherently good either.
I am not inherently good.

There is hate in this world,
but there is also love.
And on days like today,
where the hate is surrounding us,
that is what I am going to cling to.
The good.
The kind.
The human.

Because at the end of the day,
we all have one thing in common.
We're human.

He rises in the sun.
He is French and Italian.
He fills me with delight.
Who, girl, your man?
No, bread.

I run my fingers through his hair.
He will never leave my side.
I love to give him treats.
Who, girl, your man?
No, my dog.

I want to be in love.
I want you to hold me close
while I learn everything about you.

I want to know what makes you happy,
and what’s your favorite book
to read on a snowy day.

I want to lay on the beach with you
even though I hate the sand,
just so the two things that make me
feel warm are in the same place.

I want to love you.
I want to fall utterly,
ridiculously in love with you.
And I want you to fall in love with me.

I want you to dance with me in the kitchen,
to all of our favorite songs.
I want you to love my annoying rants
even though you’ve heard it all
a million times before.

I want you to make me feel safe.
I want you to be my home.
I want to be in love with you.

And most of all,
I want for us to meet.

A bunch of thoughts
jumbled in my brain
Put on paper
I'm finally sane.

Thursday, June 23rd.
Last day.
The end.
Two simple words filled with so much emotion.
Joy? Anger? Loss?
Can loss be good?
Is an end a comma, or a period?

Do you ever just
feel sad?

I feel like I’m in this
perpetual state of
waiting.

Like I’m early for an appointment
but I don’t know when it’s for
or what it is.

There is so much heartbreak
and death
and pain
in this world.

It feels like an endless spiral
and I don’t know when it’ll stop.

I just want it to stop.
To end.

For the misery,
and the clouds
and the sickness
and the hate
to go the **** away.

Why is there so much hate in this world?
How can there be a God if there’s never any light?
Because I don’t see a light.

But I’m looking.

That is where I find my solace.
That I’m looking.

Dear…. me.
No. You’re not me.
You don’t have my experiences
You don’t have my friends
We don’t see the world in the same way
And that’s the problem.

I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I broke my promises
I’m sorry I’ve made mistakes
And I’m sorry you think the way you do.

Good things?
You change.
You grow.
Yes, you’re not perfect,
But you never were.
And you never will be.
But you will try.
You are trying.
Me. I’m trying.

Sincerely, me.
To a better tomorrow.

I want to love you.
I want to snuggle
on the couch and
watch a Disney movie.
I want to forget about
school and my chores
and my anxiety and
pretend we’re the only
two creatures in the world.

But I can’t. Because I don’t.
And I can’t force myself to
love you, no matter how much
I try. You’re not my soulmate
and that’s okay. You deserve
to be able to find yours.
And I hope you do. Because
you’re amazing. And one day,
you will.