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Johnnyqu33r Jun 2022
I think of the first time we met
You thought I would be smaller
And I felt like I absorbed the sea
Like a planet spinning in orbit
And my heart fractured a little
Because it leapt from your lips
And attached to my soft soul

It's lingered long since
Both our roads forked
Sitting on my spinal cord
Tapping on my shoulders

I always wanted to be loved
Held as though I was a feather
Glanced at like I had worth
I had it all in my palm but
For reasons it disappeared
Like your name in my phone
Your words are still with me

And they will chear me on
In this time of transformation
Soon I'll glance in the mirror
And I'll bear a **** eating grin

Because you won't recognize me
Johnnyqu33r Jun 2022
Take me to your paradise
The soft noises escaping
Like breath but boisterous
Slow rising and falling
Eyes fixated on mine

You can be my youth fountain
Fix what was broken the last time
I was sprawled beneath a body
That lasted far beyond the sell date

I'll take you to my paradise
All the curves and pressure points
Teeth to make soft impressions
As fireworks light up our sky
And we stay connected in the moment
Johnnyqu33r May 2022
Here I am dedicated to my rituals
Sending ripples to one day caress
You're facing the north drinking
The horizon and winds of change
Growing tired of your own rituals
A sparrow is born and growing
To disrupt your brooding gaze
Join me in the sky in time
I'll share with you my star shards
I'll root you in my soft earth
I'll introduce you to my rituals
I'll finally caress that face
Facing the south speaking
Affirmations of gratitude
Johnnyqu33r May 2022
When I stop spinning I'd like to go away
For a long weekend
Or indefinitely to an old ocean town
Where I know nobody and nobody cares
That I'm recovering from the third degree
Bubbles blistering on my skin
From the acid rain my eyes released
Like a plague
Like a nightmare
Like a cry to get away to
Splash around in the sea
Gaze at strangers in a bar
Maybe one will buy me a soda water
And we can talk about nothing
And I'll crawl under his covers
And I'll imagine our future together
And I'll get in my car and leave
It all feels kind of pointless
It all feels kind of strange
To meander like a plastic bag
Rush hour on the highway
I'll come back home
And I won't feel different
But I'll smile and I'll lie
Because it's important
For the ones who love me
Johnnyqu33r May 2022
I look at her and wonder
If she is very happy
Content with her choice
To sprawl out next to me
As I cry a little and
Gaze up at the ceiling

I look at her and wonder
About all of her feelings
The traumas that follow
Even while she sleeps
Gently breathing and
Her leg touching me

I look at her and wonder
If it could get any better
She is loved immensely
Fed on a schedule
Scratched behind her ears
Given treats and toys

And only picked up when I can't help it
Johnnyqu33r May 2022
I feel...

Overwhelmed
It grows
The pit
Deep
In my stomach

Sad and
Nostalgic
Nauseous

I feel...

Like a fool
That I had not
Shined alongside
More often before  
You went dark

I'm so sorry

I feel...

I'm just so sorry

I feel...

Sick
Johnnyqu33r May 2022
He's got the kind of eyes
You accidentally fall into
Like a ledge of gravel
You lose your footing
You slide quickly down
Into two honey pools
That at first are angry
But smooth instantly
Like fresh maple syrup
Sticky and gripping
Flirtatiously manipulative
Naturally captivating
Like a siren's song
And before too long
You've drowned
And he blinks
And he's won
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