Johnnyqu33r

Johnnyqu33r May 2022

Where do I go from here
Diving in this ocean of change
Sending bubble messages to
Float and burst at the surface
Where your silhouette
No longer lingers leaving me
A bit uneasy with my own mind
Wondering if while submerged
You'd offer a hand to drag me from
The refreshing wet depths
Or hold me down to drown
I would have been fine with either
I would have been fine with either
I would have been fine with either
Now I'm fine with neither
I'll climb to the soil on my own
I'll sun bathe on the beach
I'll have a soda water with lime
I'll be absolutely fine
It's just a matter of time
Until I'm saturated in weakness
Etching a heart in new sand
Walking together hand in hand
Drowning after the honeymoon

Johnnyqu33r May 2022

Tantrum

My body is a vat of liquid nitrogen
My heart is hardened by the cold
My eyes hold a certain youthfulness
My vessel is hastily getting old
My dreams are drifting behind me
My dream house has been sold
My love comes in toxic waves
My heart chakra has black mold
My soulmate quickly swept left
My personality is just too bold
My blessings are abundant
My reflection is always being told

Johnnyqu33r May 2022

Daffodil Dance

Somewhere there is a wild fire
Waiting to scorch the very ground
I sway on listening to soft melodies
Hair disheveled by summer breeze
Waiting for the rain to cleanse me
Before I once more get burned
By eyes that I just can not avert
And a smile that sweetly sears me
I'll float through the threshold
Entirely knowing the outcome
Another notch in the weeping willow
Where I'll cascade to my knees
Joining that great tree for a sob
Until my eyes are Arabian sand
And when spring rolls back around
I'll sway in the wind and wait
For another man to burn me
Back to the ground

Johnnyqu33r Apr 2022

Boom

There's a black hole inside me
A duality between scarlet rage
And blue grey sadness spreading
Like fire but so incredibly cold

Like fire in that it swiftly destroys
The pictures hanging on the wall
Singeing the symmetrical sunflower
Barbequing my soft youthfulness

There's a black hole inside me
That at some point will eventually
End the world I've come to love
Preserving me perfectly in the ash

Johnnyqu33r Apr 2022

Manageable

If ever it unravels it will be the end
There's a sadness lurking here inside
Blinded by a very severe artificial light
It keeps the dark blue sweetly sedated
So that there are no shadows to slip within

A smile holding thousands of pounds
Pressure immense but manageable
For when the floodgates begin to fail
There is no ship to use and sail

If ever it unravels it will be the end
There is no secret trap door
Or magic elaborate escape plan
Nor ropes or staples strong enough
To tether it all back together

Just an ocean delaying an implosion
That has been been quickly approaching

Johnnyqu33r Mar 2022

Flatline

I often flash back too
To when there was love
Free flowing adoration
Abruptly interrupted
By a widow maker

An empty bottle
Can not produce
What you need
To be dizzied

I often get sad too
Thinking of the what ifs
And how it went away
But I'm not so cruel
As to torture you

Johnnyqu33r Mar 2022

The Ick

A memory emerges
Like a toxic bubble
Making it's way up
Through the sludge
Emitting such a
Rancid smell
From where it came
From where it dwells
Twisted and lonesome
Waiting for night to fall
And then it crawls
From the black pit
Of discarded times
And it bites my hand
And the venom courses
Making it's way hastily
To my heart feeling heavy
And I want to end it all
I am embarrassed so badly
And I feel a heavy sadness
And if I could I truly would
Go back in time and erase it
But it happened
It occured
It's absurd
But before the venom reaches
And stops my pumping valves
I forgive myself
And the creature goes away
Taking it's poison along
Back down to it's dank hole
And I seal it's awful opening
And I refuse to go back
And I keep looking forward