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Apr 2020 · 62
Carry You
Jen Apr 2020
Let these words
Carry you past
Tonight
Twilight covers
Only to prepare us
For Light

A voice breaks
The surface
Of silence
Where there
were no notes left
To be sung

Let these words
Carry You
Listening to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQRN3cTQM84
Apr 2020 · 53
Technicolor
Jen Apr 2020
Far-off fantasies fly in technicolor skies
Velocity drives a ship to new heights
On the edge of the multiverse nothing
Can be heard of distant voices far off in space
Listening to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHqd5BDXl0c

(This poem is about an artist exiting this world in the creative process)
Apr 2020 · 43
Lamps
Jen Apr 2020
Lamps hang over a
Ray-less  
Backdrop that saturates &
Mirrors above to reflect
Billions of distant souls
Bleeding love
Crying out
Not to be heard

                          Their soft glimmer shimmers
                                         Over us in the dimness

One day we might welcome
A new way to see
Everything we thought
We knew
Could be
Listening to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ut6KpgVRNs
Apr 2020 · 24
Replay
Jen Apr 2020
Been lost for how
To save lost spaces—
Backtrack in time
Can't erase this

Rewinding in rhymes (over & over/ asleep & awake)
Tape cassettes made
In Retrospect—
Spinning and remixing
Sealed in semi-broken plastic covers, buried in a glove box disaster
      Scene ready to be rediscovered
After years have passed and time has advanced
Playing for all time—
Sealed and safe
free to replay
For decades
Until they are replaced

And if the universe allows it,
They will never be lost again,
They will always have a place
To replay
Listening to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM3FJ40kC18
Apr 2020 · 41
Force Field
Jen Apr 2020
Force field up
for protection
fragile insides hide
beneath the surface
to find strength in
a spirit underlying

sacred places empty
of all confessions
doors locked still
counting blessings

rockets fall
try to destroy us
worlds collide
no one immune

darkness only
rises to
await a greater
strength
from above

Used to be quiet
head low for
survival
some storms
rolled in
learned to
be a fighter
A subconscious creation.  Easter blessings <3

Music playing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGtcRxP_OR4
Apr 2020 · 128
Spilling'
Jen Apr 2020
listening to songs
drifting on particles
experiencing emotions
as art
to be created
lyrics speaking
of real moments
moving
to be human (sometimes isn't easy)
suddenly it’s raining
or the sun is pouring
up
present in existence
feelings spilling
souls releasing words
in letters
in prose
dare to compose
something sublime
a heartbeat
captured for all time
inspiring truths
your own words
spilling to the page
spilling'
from the cage
released & flying
not to downfall
down
where did they come from &
where will they go?
spilling'
up
letting go
releasing in words
Inspired by music...experiencing the world through the view of the INFJ

Listening to an artist I recently discovered:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IepoN6KNYo0
Apr 2020 · 69
A prayer
Jen Apr 2020
God,
Please hear this prayer
Watch over the little ones
And hold our families near
Let me forgive
And move forward from
Past situations not meant to be
God,
Please let someone find a cure
(One with your blessing, not the mark of the evil)
Watch over the weak, the poor, the sick, the sad, and the lonely
& those that have lost it all and more
You are capable of miracles (Are we that far gone?)
I trust in you
Have always seen it
Felt it
You’ve never led me astray when I’ve followed your ways
A personal journey
You’ve led
I've followed
All I have to do is look up
To your creations
And trust that everything will be okay
Something better awaits (In unworldly paradise)
This is the prayer that I said before falling asleep yesterday.  The words came so clear to my mind as I closed my eyes.
Jen Apr 2020
Look up when you feel
The stars have stopped shining
Lost for words left
Hanging suspended
Not emitting their glow
Yearning for the light to
Cover them head to toe
I was on HP reading poems and finishing some writing when I found an artist I used to collaborate with that goes by Slate Blue.  "Stars in a sky yearning for light," inspired this poem.  Thank you for for your inspiration, and welcome back to HP. :)
Apr 2020 · 19
Pictures Past
Jen Apr 2020
It’s like a part of the world has stopped.

Clocks hold
Hands ticking
Seconds are
Mechanisms
To keep us
Then let us
Go...
Don’t…

Hours pass by
Not meant to last
A smile, a wave, a kiss
Blown fast away

If you close your eyes
I'll close mine
Maybe we'll see
Pictures past
I write as an escape from the quarantine...trying to post every day. A lot of people are having anxiety right now.  I find that focusing on new pieces can be good therapy.
Apr 2020 · 33
Halos
Jen Apr 2020
A new dawn is mourning now
Time to wake        all is motionless
A cloak covers the sheep in the meadow
The fox in the hollow
The bear in its cave

It’s the end of today
The curtains close over the stage
No one ever sees the other side
When the applause fades

Sparks are felt
Belief found in not giving up
It’s just the beginning, or is it not
Tomorrow on the horizon
Waiting for sun rays

Just a few more seconds
Left to go
Don’t lose hold
Hang on

See you somewhere
After the world
Goes cold

Halos line the stretch
And light greets dark
Where sunsets
Are no more
Than once the same
Listening to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGP6JP_hAPM
Apr 2020 · 48
Raindrop
Jen Apr 2020
If a raindrop
Was bigger
Than human size
What would be
Seen in its eyes
Could you step
Up to it
And go inside
Would it be
The span of
An ocean
or the size of a door
If you walked
Inside
Would you swim
Or sink to the floor
If we were its size
What would we see
Looking up
Would grasshoppers
Be giants
And clouds
Vast galaxies
Apr 2020 · 42
Space Lullaby
Jen Apr 2020
On the other end of life,
What lies behind the barrier?

Moons and skyrockets take wing
At mysterious, illustrious points--
Float in invisible streams of energy,
Channel a river that flows infinitely

Celestial bodies shine truths
Through the sheets that cover us at night,
Of rain, of snow, of rays, of things
That will never take flight

I feel tears in the far reaches of space,
They fall down my face;  
Time erases them
Without a trace

Solar systems hold secrets
Cradled in their arms so tight,
Reading stories as we drift,
Lullabies echo as they lift




A voice breaks through
In the depths of sleep to say,
"What does it take to reach you?"

(Meteors fall
above the earth
flames ignite
the sky
and shower
our spirits
in everlasting
love
that will never
die)
Apr 2020 · 63
April
Jen Apr 2020
April is a month of flowers-
Trees blossom after many showers
It's warming after the cold of winter
A bee is buzzing, spinning cartwheels
Haphazardly in an airfield
Dogs run carefree about the grass
I'll keep singing
No matter what clouds are forming
I'll keep singing
Give thanks and hope for the best
Because April is a month of flowers
Surrounded in natural life
And new hopes
Happy April :)
Finding joy in simple things
Apr 2020 · 35
Fish Bowl
Jen Apr 2020
A tsunami arrived
In the night
Broke the protective
Force field
Where seagulls took flight
It had so much power
All it wanted was
More and more
It rode across the beach
And took everything on shore
Shattered the fish bowl
And when the sun rose
The next morning
Nothing was left
Nothing was left
Just the wreckage
Apr 2020 · 684
Become
Jen Apr 2020
You had
To go
Through
It all
So you
Could
Become
Who you are
Today
Mar 2020 · 35
Suns
Jen Mar 2020
Her planet had a thousand suns
They shined in the distance every day
And she re-imagined her future in the past
Daydreamed thoughts in her mind
A fortune teller
Years from now she
Would take a great journey
To the edge of civilization
Where there are no lines
And many languages are spoken
And they share openly
Food for nourishment
Collectively all colors of
Skin and all are welcome
Some lost and then found
Her hair has grown long again
She wears a dark purple dress
And her soul feels alive
Like never before
Reborn child-like
One of a thousand shines
In the chasms of her mind
She saw more than herself
Mar 2020 · 101
The gift
Jen Mar 2020
The gift
Is life
Itself
If we
could only see
maybe we
would all
be freed
The gift
Is life
Itself
If only
we could
see
Mar 2020 · 55
3:59am
Jen Mar 2020
the hour is 3:59am
the sound of thunder is waking
a storm taps on glass
as if to say come here
don't miss it
i walk across the floor
and stand by a door to
admire the rain,
a semblance of hope
ripples in the expanse
hitting the ground
the far off cosmos are
hidden by downpours
designed in the vastness
living in the present,
a moment of calm
in the chaos
it's the best time to be alive
Mar 2020 · 36
Yours
Jen Mar 2020
It's your journey
It's personal to you
Hold your own
Stay true to self
The past is over
How can words
Hold such power?
Free yourself
Don't look down
Feet dangling
Off the ground
Mar 2020 · 38
The shadows
Jen Mar 2020
There are times
When shadows
Reach out
disguised
As something else
So loving,
And
Get inside your mind (So well),
They
know your weaknesses (Better than you),
Hide
True intentions
And you hurt
deep within
just when you
Feel stronger
A hand reaches out
Of the shadows
Wrapped in
remorse and
"newly" cleansed,
but you know
better this time
you know
better
take your strength
back now
(Before it's too late)
Mar 2020 · 42
Pure
Jen Mar 2020
One thing's for sure
Within is a soul
That's pure
It's meant for love
It's meant for more
Mar 2020 · 38
Moves
Jen Mar 2020
What moves you
What is it
Is it a song or longing deep within
The way you feel a beat
Suddenly lost in it
It takes you
Somewhere else
You can’t
Even see
Could be
Outside your body
Not in your mind anymore
Hits you to the core
You could be happy
If only for a little while
It’s the best time
Swimming in your thoughts
Does it bring you to a spot
That helps you mend your brokenness
Or, maybe it travels on a breeze
To calm the storm within
Perhaps, you’re taken on a journey
And wish it'll never end
What moves you
What is it
I was inspired to write this poem while listening to music by an artist named Jazmine Sullivan.
Mar 2020 · 91
fireworks
Jen Mar 2020
missed the fireworks
but got the show
of a lifetime
grand finale
rockets in flight
made flares
that made sparks
in a fire
on that cold night
Mar 2020 · 44
happy ending.
Jen Mar 2020
want that happy ending.
a sweet hand to hold
as we grow old together,
one day when I'm 83,
want to turn a worn page
in our book,
paper curling and cover
imperfectly tattered
from all the life
we lived in our story
I'm a hopeless romantic.  Any time I see a sweet older couple, I question if that kind of love has become lost for those of us that are from the younger generations.  I picture finding someone kind who brings a positive and uplifting energy full of transparency.  Does that exist anymore?
Mar 2020 · 52
By Love
Jen Mar 2020
Why can't my God
Be love?
Spirit within
Longs to be lifted up
God(s) is
Different
To each of us
Above all
My God is love
Guiding me
So I go
Following intuitively
The Creator has always
Led the way
A protector although
Any day can be the last
No fear of death
Here on earth with all the horrors
I believe that all beliefs
Can be as one
As we all worship
What is in each of our hearts
My God I know so close
Angels sent from above
Guided by love
The spirit free to fly
At last
Shortly after posting this poem a friend sent me the following verse:

Jeremiah 29:11, "for I know the plans I have to you declared the lord. Plans  prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future"
Jen Mar 2020
Run and jump
Take off
And see where it leads
You're made for more
Than what's below
You are made for love
It's time to take flight
Soar with wings
Like you only live once
Don't be afraid
To soar above
On the wings of love
Across electric blue
Soar
On the wings of love
Maybe a bit idealistic
Trying to be uplifting
Always choose love
Over hate and bitterness
Mar 2020 · 46
Across the Veil
Jen Mar 2020
A voice is heard in stillness &
Ripples across the night sky,
It once held emptiness
In its arms (So close)

Step across the veil of clouds              (Light as a feather)

A song is heard from afar
Where no lines
Had been sung before

Heartstrings are pulled
By distant melodies
That drown out fears
The end of all tears

(Overflows with luminosity)

The wind a choir (Harmony)
The rain a piano (Heavy)
The thunder drums (Strongly)
Leaves rustlin' in tune (Delicately)
A band of miracles
That breaks the silence

(Dance up to starlight)
Mar 2020 · 79
Rag N' Bones
Jen Mar 2020
Underneath
Is skeleton,
A soul lives
Inside
These rag n' bones

Flesh & blood
Runs beneath
Warm in
A river of veins
Finding heart

A soul at ease
From the inside
Releasing
In words from
These rag n' bones
Mar 2020 · 38
Day Stars
Jen Mar 2020
That was the day
I felt deep love for you
You led me to the
Day Stars
Found a new existence  
Lost in wilderness  
Not long ago
Breathed in deeply
Touched the skin
Figments fluttered
On more than wings
Escaped the noise
in a breakaway paradise
Maybe we'll
Return one day
In waking flames in
Another form
Danced across the sand
Buried secrets
Tried to understand
Felt euphoric
Discovered more
Freed the mind
Felt so alive
Daylight reflected
In waves that
Crashed against the sky
Above high rocks
Hundreds of small birds
Passed by
They were
Day Stars
Energized
Full of life
With a purpose
Shined like embers
Of Venus
Appeared as
Miracles
Sent from heaven
I will always question what was real and what wasn't, but one thing I know is that day I felt a deep love for you as we admired the raw and simple beauty in life.  I will always wish that our love was possible in this life but in my heart I know it wasn't meant to last here.
Mar 2020 · 40
Right Now
Jen Mar 2020
Sinking in this pool
Of chaos
Faster
No signs of slowing
Never knowing

Our minds
More vulnerable
Than ever
The fear we wake to
Risen up a ladder

The best place
Right now
Might be
On the edge
Of the earth

The best place
Might be
Right now
Our minds
Never knowing
Mar 2020 · 48
Paper or Plastic?
Jen Mar 2020
They step in to
The local grocery for
the weekly shop.
A soldier in a
Green apron stands
Bravely, sanitizing
And passing out
Carts.
Once inside,
The shelves are
Almost empty in spots.
Customers who once
Looked full of emotions
Now appear devoid of life,
Going through the motions.
You touched a surface?
Repeat, "Don't touch my face,"
"Don't touch my face."
Check out time is here at last,
Thought there would be
Longer lines but
Not many people are inside.
The cashier asks,
"Did you find everything you need?"
With a smile as if pretending
"It's business as usual."

One lady says at least she found
Paper plates which was a
Welcome surprise.
It's our turn, and we are
Told we have more than
The allowed amount of meat.
(We only have three small
packs of beef)
And explain we are a family
Cooking in this week.
The sky outside is rainy now,
Should be a tornado warning today,
But there's no telling when
The world will end
(It's easy to be 'in our heads')

Experts write about all
Possible scenarios & outcomes.
Human minds do what
Human minds do in these
Situations...
"Paper or plastic?"
Mar 2020 · 64
One
Jen Mar 2020
One
Gray morning mist
Walking into the waves
Separating in two
Before you.
Water crashing,
Moving,
Becoming one
Ocean.
At the end
When you
Reach the sand,
Arms wrap
Around
Holding you,
The sun,
Welcomes
The end of
Two waves
As they become
One ocean
Mar 2020 · 85
Little Place (In You)
Jen Mar 2020
Everyday
no matter what's going on,
Just find a little place in you
To stay warm &
Escape the darkness
That sometimes
Is this world.
Everyday
no matter what's going on,
Find a little place in you
Mar 2020 · 30
Ride
Jen Mar 2020
Walking side-by-side,
she didn't know
How to ride a bike.
She used to as a kid,
Up and down rolling hills
Everyday with no fear.
Years passed by,
She no longer remembered
How.
Until one day she
Decided to try again.
Walking side-by-side,
She decided to hop
Onto a bike,
Fell down,
& Smiled.
Mar 2020 · 37
Incubus
Jen Mar 2020
Oh no no no (Don't be afraid to fly)
The night can't hold you there
Oh no no no
Just when it was buried (This fear)
Hope came along,
You entered with her (In sleeping illusion)
In this incubus-- caterpillars conquered glass (Crawled up fast)
Oh no no no (Couldn't escape)
Your stare felt real
She entered out of a door (Recognized her face)
Stood there by your side (A larva grew above her eye)
Then suddenly she left but didn't go far,
An image so supernatural (Lucid).
I began to question
The thin line where
Life begins
And dreams end
Oh no no no

The heart is-- internal machine

Just when it was buried (This fear),
It was dug up in
Incubus
For the first time in a while I've been having vivid dreams...some a little scary so thought I'd share some remnants of one of them on here.
Mar 2020 · 60
Beauty
Jen Mar 2020
Beauty can be anywhere you look,
An expression
Or kind smile
Passing by a sunset
Only to discover
That if you glance
In the side mirror
It's still there.
Time always
Goes  away
But beautiful memories
Stay.
Beauty can be anywhere
We look,
Imagining.
Mar 2020 · 58
Society is a Narcissist
Jen Mar 2020
Society
Is a narcissist
Trying to make fun
Of anything
To fill its ego
They will eat you alive.
Some aren't safe,
The empathetic
Can run
But there is nowhere
To hide
Mar 2020 · 46
Constellation Hearts
Jen Mar 2020
Played a game of connect.the.dots.

                          Underneath
         ­                 A high window.

So many stars we could see, so many specks above
A roof that opened to infinity

The moon,
Constellations,
A forest of aspens,
Snow covered a fire pit buried outside
In summer, it will burn bright.

Night carried on,
Made magic in the dark,
Two dots formed
Constellation.hearts

                           Underneath
                                                   You moved up
from below

                           (I can still see you there)
                           (Our hands held close)

Love was made.
It will never die,
                                 like that night.

Played a game of connect.the.dots.

                            In another life
                            Maybe it would stay alive

Two dots formed
Constellation hearts.
Listening to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSQQI2GFqX8
Mar 2020 · 51
tightrope
Jen Mar 2020
One foot
In front
Of the other
Lava below
Don't
Look down
Or be afraid
Only 20 feet
To go
Only 10 feet
Left
Look forward
One foot
In front
Of the other
On the
tightrope
Hanging
By a thread
Never
Look back
Once you
Reach
The other
End
Mar 2020 · 28
Virus
Jen Mar 2020
Could this be the end,
There is no telling
In this life
There is no telling

The virus spreads
Droplets spilling out,
Cover your mouth,
Don't be exposed
Empty shelves
Aisle after aisle depleted
Of bread and toilet paper
Keep your distance
To 3 feet or more,
Eerie, reminiscent
Of outbreak depictions
On the movie screen,
COVID-19
Found its place
In history
Can anyone else not believe this is happening?  Why does it seem surreal.  Life is unpredictable for sure... I am counting my blessings and in a way feel like I'm living in some strange movie.  I lived in Seattle for about the last two years, and right as the first cases of coronavirus were found there my entire life happened to turn upside down (Completely unrelated to the virus) and it was like I was led far from Seattle to be closer to my family.  We are staying safe so far and have each other for support.

Stay safe out there <3
Mar 2020 · 41
Real
Jen Mar 2020
I can't hold this in
Any longer,
The need to live,
To be free and
To love me
And realize that
If I ever give my heart away
That person should
Bring me joy
It's okay to cry,
Never let someone
Tell you it isn't.
It's okay to feel raw emotion,
Doesn't mean you're damaged,
Just means that you feel
And that you are real.
Mar 2020 · 43
Once Thought
Jen Mar 2020
Astonishing impressions dripped from the ceiling-
They revealed repellent markings sought to arrest
The soul.

Rubbed the surface of a lamp far too many times
Thinking if I'd closed my eyes and made a wish that
I'd never know my heart
Could feel this way

Once thought that something so special could exist in this life,
Once thought that the covering was strong
And wouldn't chip away like cheap paint scratched slowly

Embellished what could be in so many stories with no end.
Mar 2020 · 59
All Around
Jen Mar 2020
There is magic all around us
To see past the sky
To what is far beyond,
Beneath the skin

It drifted above us
Fell back for a moment
Rested on a quiet breeze
Landed in softness
Covered everything (Glowing)
Touched a thought
Lifted somewhere soft
Rain fell beautifully and gently down
Forever

Closed my eyes and breathed it in,
Pure essence from within surrounded
The natural world
Felt deeply
Mar 2020 · 42
The Hive
Jen Mar 2020
The hive
Is buzzing
Alive inside
It knows
Where you are
And how to
Draw you in.to.this.
Construct.
The loyal bee
Blindly
Meets
Its surrender
Within

Buzzing
In the hive.
Mar 2020 · 106
A Scene.
Jen Mar 2020
A Scene
Comes to mind.
Evading reality.

Waves
Of comfort
Covering.

A vast ocean
Of warmth
Descending.

Resilience
The framework
Surrounding.

Safe here
In this passageway
Pretending.
This little poem is the first I ever posted on a blog... a safe place to go in the mind and find comfort and peace.
Mar 2020 · 26
True Story
Jen Mar 2020
As these thoughts
Sink into my head,
Keeping me up
In my bed,
All I feel
Is that I was played,
Used and abused,
I hear your
Voice in my head,
It's hot and angry
And it says,
"I'll never forgive you."
All I know deep down
Is all I did was love you,
It moved way too fast
And something always
Didn't feel right.
It wasn't until I began
Driving away that I realized
That you are the monster
I had to run from.
The feeling that I can't let go of
Is that no-one would ever
Believe me if I told
The true story.
I had to be brave and share this poem. The reason I haven't been on this site for a while is that I became involved in a new relationship about seven months ago, and I should have known better. It moved way too fast and it felt so right at first but then I began to feel that something was off and kept ignoring the signs.  Now I realize that I was being used, controlled, manipulated, gaslighted, and abused (Mainly verbally but in subtle physical ways). I kept telling myself the reason I hadn't blogged in a while was because I was in the honey moon phase of a relationship when in reality someone was controlling me to the point where I lost my identity.  I thought I had learned, but at least I escaped... last week I left the apartment I shared with him, and felt like it was scary beyond what I can explain that would make sense to anyone.  Grateful to be safe now. Drove 2,500 miles with my kitties. Will have to find yet another new job but safety is the most important thing.  If I tried to explain what happened in the last few months, I feel that no one would ever believe me because it would all sound too crazy and he constantly made himself out to be the victim/good guy in front of his friends/family.  I felt like my head was constantly under water...nothing I could say or do, trapped and always uncomfortable. I want to write more about it now and at the same time I'm hesitant.  I am sharing this not only to release what is inside of me but also in case I can reach any other victims of domestic violence out there.  I now know that the only option is to get out before it is too late! <3


https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/
Mar 2020 · 77
Here Forever
Jen Mar 2020
We held hands and wasted time,
Wish we knew each other as kids.
It might have been more innocent,
Walking on clouds together
Lighter than feathers
(High) above solid ground
In any weather,  thought we'd stay together

You ran ahead on a forest path,
One day in my memories.
I chased you on rocky trails
As you took flight,
You were there waiting for me,
Opened your hands,
Revealed a heart shaped rock,
Symbol of our love.

Mody & Jenny
Live here forever.
Mar 2020 · 522
Cells
Jen Mar 2020
Cells-
They keep you.
They keep you,
In cells.
Walking upright
In this somber city-scape-jungle,
Cells-
Hands on them (grasping)
Surroundings suddenly
Disappear.
In our heads-
Are devices that-
Imprison our minds.
Keeping us glued,
Glazed over,
Donut shells.
Landscape metallic-cold-and-covered,
This human growth exploding
Buildings are our trees,
Artificial roots edging up concrete.
The lonely plant
Now goes unnoticed
Sterility coating everything.

We are prisoners of our minds.
We are prisoners of the Cells.
Mar 2020 · 23
Wait & See
Jen Mar 2020
You showed me what is is
To live,
Can't let this be,
Question where we'll be
Eventually
Just have to
Wait & See
Every day was
Adventure,
With you.
Magic painted scenes,
The moon cast a spell over me.
The tides change
Each & Every day
Love isn't easy,
Anything worth
Fighting for isn't
Simple, simply be.
Happened so quickly,
Never thought of
All these possibilities
As one dimensional existence,
Turned to never ending splendor.
Multidimensional
Sunsets and beauty unfold
Mar 2020 · 34
Heaven one day.
Jen Mar 2020
New Beginnings,
Two people meeting
Like it's the first time,
No negative comments
Or put downs
Just understanding
And loving words
I'm staying strong right
Now, by faith in God-
Yes, I will always believe
That everything
Will be okay.
No matter what
Happens,
I'll see you in Heaven one day.
If we could start over fresh, would it change things? <3
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