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You
You



         Know                
  


                               Who


     You

                    Are



                                     All


   Of




                My



                         Poems




                                     About


          "Someone"


                     Darling,




                                                 It's you.
I stood outside
And watched the sun rise
Extreme exhaustion
Haze
Only lifted
By the thought
That I have survived another day
Where do bad folks go when they die?

They don't go to heaven where the angels fly

Go to a lake of fire and fry.
The Meat Puppets
You're a beautiful mess

Struggling with yourself

My dear,

Don't fret.

For we are all,

In one way

A wreck.
 Jul 2013 JAK AL TARBS
Céleste
I  believe in chances.
Ones that we wake up to every morning.
Sometimes we let them get away,
Most  times we push them away.

I believe in fear.
Fear is an inspiration.
Sometimes we allow it to inspire us to be brave,
Most times fear inspires us to hide.

I believe in dreams.
Dreams are born out of fear.
We call them dreams because we are fearful,
Fearful of chances staring us in the face.
We run.
We hide.

The chances are there.
Ignore your fears.
Turn your dreams into reality.
When life takes an ugly turn,
Hurting you more than you ever thought possible,
What happens next?
How do you slap life in the face and stand up tall?
How do you break the numbness, that never seems to go away.
How do you wipe the tears away, when they never seem to stop.
How do you tell yourself, that really... it will be okay.
I want to stop,
and listen to the birds sing their happy tune.
I want to stop,
and smell the flowers erupting through the air.
I want to stop,
and feel the sun radiating from my skin.
I just want everything to STOP.
Stop taking away pieces, when there's nothing left to give.
Stop stealing my tears, when you don't deserve them.
Stop stopping myself... from being happy.
 Jul 2013 JAK AL TARBS
Cassidy
Where would I be now
If i wasn't ruined?
Hurt?
Broken?
It all destroys you,
Likewise making a
Beautiful mess,
It makes you lose
Control,
You're no longer fighting,
You eventually give up,
On everything,
You're no longer trying
To breathe in the air
All around you,
Trying to eat,
You can't even sleep
The way you once could,
It's waking up everyday
Wishing you had
Died in your sleep;
From crying in the
Shower just so no one can
Hear you weep,
From laying in your bed
Early in the mornings
Wishing you were never
Born;
It's where cutting yourself
Just to let yourself know
That you can still feel,
To the point where
The pain doesn't even
Matter anymore,
It's just a feeling,
A rush,
Of letting yourself know
You're still alive,
After all you've
Been going through;
This massive monster
You've turned yourself into
Caves in on you,
Consuming you,
Making you whole,
It becomes a part of you;
So now I answer,
Where would I be now
If I wasn't ruined;
Oh sweet naïve child,
This is all I've ever
Known

c.c.
Sold my soul to the devil
Nothing left inside
Wanted to be consumed by darkness
Best choice I ever made
Felt like I had the power
Way too easy to give up on life
Easier to give up on myself
Others never believed in me, so I stopped believing in myself
It made sense to me
Don’t care what anyone thinks
Won’t do something just because I was told to
People are the most insignificant species  
Didn’t have anything left
Anything that mattered to me was already gone
Material objects never meant too much
No hopes- no dreams
Not even the slightest spark of reality
Well I had one thing
I was left with a broken heart
No one has ever really cared about me
Everybody’s only looking out for themselves
They’re all going to get consumed by something much worse than the darkness
Won’t even have a choice
Nothing I said or did ever really mattered
Always rejected by others
Watched chances fade
Gave up on love
(Not something I ever really had)
Expected that things would just make themselves better
Killed my heart
Now I’m emotionless
It’s not like I had anything that mattered to me
Life is the worst thing that ever happened to me
There never really was any path
The whole way was pre paved
Fate and destiny is just a sham- it’s all fake
Everything I know is just an illusion
Finally broke free
Made my choice
Picked my own destiny
Nothing can get in my way now
There’s no more light
I’m getting out of this dark tunnel
I chose to die rather than to suffer through life
Just wanted something better-something I thought was attainable-happiness
 Jul 2013 JAK AL TARBS
ANH
Home
 Jul 2013 JAK AL TARBS
ANH
When privilege has you scattered
others don't see the drain
of a life mapped in tatters,
each scrap on a different plane;
life has left me perpetually lost
but how else could I be found,
how else would I learn the cost
of directions not homeward bound?
I look over the undead corpses
of the homes I used to know -
one that crawled in roses
spelt my childhood the most
they bloomed in all the colours
that a child's heart could dream
and stained the century-old windows
so it seemed the little house did gleam
and when we left it ripped my heart out,
though not the first nor last home lost,
but that's what true love is about -
being left hollowed out with frost.
And now my memories are in footsteps,
trodden away from my new home,
because with age comes curiosity
and a desire to be alone
and when I walk these old Cheam streets,
a village slipping through London's fingers,
my heart beats through my ambling feet
and the ache of pure love lingers
because the walls crumble at my touch
and the streetlights flicker red and die
because the city is at an Oyster touch
but trees are gathered at my side
because the huge huddled houses loom
but birds and foxes can still roam
because bulbous roses will always bloom
in a place that I call home.

But this time I am leaving,
for a different city now,
though this town on London's border
is the best one I have known;
my footsteps travel further
but to a place, for once, that's mine
but I'll take all of these memories
and a rose to keep the time.
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