its 99 cents for any cup of
Coffee
MakeDamnSure is playing on the radio
It’s colder outside than last night
But last night I was woozy
From the *****
And it could have actually been colder than it is tonight
The alcohol makes me warm with feelings that get to finally creep from the shadows
You know even I get tired of keeping it all in sometimes

I think I started needing
Control when I started
To lack it from others
When my father stopped keeping me on such a tight leash
And my mother finally set me free
I don’t think I knew what to do
So I would cling onto people
And control their every move
Because I didn’t know that was
What you were not supposed to do
Until I ruined everything I had with you

It is the shadow under my step
It is the darkest of feelings
It drips off of me like oil
On wet wood
It is, and isn’t
Who I am
And
Who I want to be

My trauma
It is heavy
Like stacks of bricks on my back
And I carry it with me
To the store, when I’m out with friends
It’s there when I wake up in the middle of the night
It’s often the first thing to cross my mind
It surges through my veins
It’s like poison in my blood
It makes my mouth taste bitter
It makes me want to run
But no matter how fast my feet hit the ground
Or how far I may travel
These bricks don’t come off so easy
They follow me town to town