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Iz Dec 2018
My trauma
It is heavy
Like stacks of bricks on my back
And I carry it with me
To the store, when I’m out with friends
It’s there when I wake up in the middle of the night
It’s often the first thing to cross my mind
It surges through my veins
It’s like poison in my blood
It makes my mouth taste bitter
It makes me want to run
But no matter how fast my feet hit the ground
Or how far I may travel
These bricks don’t come off so easy
They follow me town to town
Iz Dec 2018
Dear gentle cat who loves eveyone he meets
What do you think when you look at me
When you smell my face do you smell the lies I’ve told big and small
Or
When you push your head against my hand
Do you feel the wrong I’ve done with it
The things I’ve stolen, the hits I’ve landed
When you plop down next to me do you
Feel the presence of all who have sat there prior
Do you feel the emptiness of the spaces in my room
Where ones who have now past once sat and laughed
When I scratch your cheeks
Do you know I’ve not been the best me I could have been
Do you know I’ve done wrong
Do you know I am only human
Or do you look at me with those big marble eyes
And see every time I’ve done something nice,
Do you see the groggy mornings were you wake me to feed you
The hours spent laying together as I talk about nonsense
Do you only see the good I am, and understand the bad is only part of me
Tell me cat
Tell me please, what do you see, everytime you look at me
Iz Dec 2018
I dimmed my flame for you
I smudged out my shine
I covered my gold skin in black tarp
Layer after layer
Until you could no longer tell
How glorious I once was
And I did this all so
You would feel comfortable loving me
I know I was intimidating
My twinkle was blinding
The diamonds buried in my chest, they more
Closely resemble coal now
But when it gets cold down here
In this damp dark hell
I often scoop out some coal and lay it out in front of me
I light it with my flame
That’s barely sizzling
And I remember what I once was
What I never learned to love
Until it was no longer me
And I shiver in the cold
Missin when I was a not just an ember
Iz Dec 2018
It’s relieving to now see
Everything I have ever done
It’s all lead me right here
To you
Iz Dec 2018
I have spent a year loving you
I’ve spent 365 days stuck in a trance
Your love is utterly hypnotic
I am a slave to your hearts rhythm
It moves me every time
My feet go left my body sways right
The air it glides across my skin
Like shooting stars in clear night skies
Your love is like morning dew
It covers me at dawn  
I glisten and shine
In the lights of your suns
At last I understand
Whats been missing my whole life
What I’ve searched the ends of the earth for
Has always been
And always will be
You
Iz Dec 2018
I tremble as I face the beast
Beaten and worn
I stand
His words are birthed from acid
His skin is solid steel
Those eyes
They pierce me
Like jaded daggers
Blood fills my lungs as my vision goes black
This is a battle I will die fighting
Who is your beast?
Iz Nov 2018
I woke up this morning
Gasping for air
I had been dreaming of diving
The deeper I went the less I wanted to go up
I just kept swimming
Knowing I could only hold my breath so long
I was almost happy
But I remembered that would leave me
Without you
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