You would lose a daughter
A sister
A best friend
A friend
An enemy
A cousin
A granddaughter
Would you regret the time you left me
Crying
After you
Screamed
Would you finally notice what I've been going through?
The rope around my neck.
The knife in my heart.
The river I jumped from.
The cliff I fell from.
The hole in my chest or head.
When my meds all disappear.
Even though it's not time to get them refilled.
Would you miss me every time you pass my room?
When you see my favorite snacks?
When you pass my school?
Calling my friends about what happened?
Framing the letters with tear spots and running ink
Would you think it's your fault?
Would it have mattered if I was never born
When the cat and the dog whine in front of my door
Wondering
Where's Kelsea?
Just wanting to cuddle and nap a few more times
Do you regret not saying goodbye?
How your words dug into my heart.
Where the knife now is.
Would you cry at my funeral
And invite all the people you chose over me?
...
You can't remove a grain of sand.
Without effecting the rest.
988.
Was the last call
In my phone log.
After the 14 declined calls.
From mom.
I've been struggling and it's really embarrassing.
If you know anyone or have trouble with suicide please call or text 988. It's called a crisis hotline but my therapists say it's for non-crisis too.