when nothing is left

i won't tell you what i'm about to do

forever that feeling of spent

indecisions clouded with tunnel vision, funneled down to one last thought

it boomerangs back to me.  the rest scatter, like from a catapult

locked in a blanket of fog.  a frozen state.  blood red stains

i think about fate

oh god please help me this soul is beginning to bleed

fear is spreading through me.  my mind cannot rest

paranoia follows me around,  like some kind of pest

i've fallen out of place.  i have lost all my grace

i can't remember myself.  i can be replaced

i have no good memories,  all has gone blank

A BLUE SHADE OF SICKNESS

is what causes the pain

it won't even wane,  won't go the **** away

death haunts me,  like screams from a nest

pistol in my grip, on my lip so it rests

to decide not to stay or to live in this place

it's just too hard to scream, without a face

i step into the void, to escape all of the noise

because, when it all turns to black, there is no turning back

i lose it everyday

somewhat different, but always the same

as uneasy as this sounds, i am forever up and never down

without my emotions to deaden the blows, will i pull through this,

nobody knows?

i bury myself deep In disguise, suppress all that i feel and then close my eyes

memories die, as i say goodbye, leaving me blank and unoccupied

i'm losing my mind, it slips away with the time

but the farther i fall, the higher i climb