I can’t just undo the damage done in a day
The lord giveth and the lord taketh away
Should the winds shift and leave me penniless
I’ll wait, but I’m accountable for every mistake
Even if there is nothing to account for per se

The blinds are cracked just enough
For a sliver of the streetlight
To illuminate your empty side of the bed
You’re not that far but the stairway
Leads to rejection
The air conditioner muffles my sighs
But the silence is interrupted by the sporadic chirping of the smoke detector that’s batteries are dying.
The sound is reminiscent to a canary in a coal mine.

If you didn't come from rich family
rich family must come from you

Birds of feathers flock together
also people of feets walk together
so let's walk together
and take lead
to make world
a better place to live

I fall in love with strangers.
I wish to cradle their souls.
I want to be the one with whom
they share their secrets, dreams and goals.
I see so many walking completely void of smiles
and I wish to carry them for many many miles.
I long to fix the world although I am just a girl.
I aspire to open all of their hearts and replace the broken parts.
I weep for those without a home
I feel emptiness when I see those alone.
Why can't I be everyone's friend?
Why can't I make them whole again?
Why can't I solve them, everyone's problems?
I must admit, I know that I can not fix all of it.
So I just stare at passerby and softly wonder, wonder why.

I don't feel quite myself today
If I seem far away
I am okay
But honestly
I don't feel quite myself today

I don't feel quite myself today
If I seem quiet and don't know what to say
I am okay
But honestly
I don't feel quite myself today

I don't feel quite myself today
If I seem to be acting in a melancholic way
I am okay
But honestly
I don't feel quite myself today

Today is the same as yesterday.
The morning storms awoke me from
My placid dreamy state. Almost the same.  Yesterday,  I noticed you had already left for work as your side of the bed was absent. I longed to be nestled in your embrace as the storm waged on. This morning you are here.  I tried to hold you, thinking this is perfect I have a redo. You told me to scoot over.  Yesterday,  as I day dreamed about your hand holding mine as I succumbed to old age I realized that I am distrusting because I am afraid of inevitable loss.  Today,  I realized that I may not be afraid of losing you,  I am afraid that I can not have you and I can not be had in the way that I would like.  Expectations are suffering and I do exceptionally well at dissapointment.

I have a wandering mind
It goes asunder at times
I pine over pitiless thoughts
I ought not to think
I become distraught
And I begin to sink
Deeper and deeper
Plummeting down
In the darkest muddiest murkiest
Of waters I begin to drown
But I realize that I am only in a puddle
And I begin my ascension
You see my anxiety transports me to another dimension
Where puddles are lakes and oceans
And I am incapable of controlling my emotions