Look at what you put me through
The unnecessary distress and deceit
Endless nights are now nothing new
Your obligations are now complete

I see I’ve been a pain in the neck
Was I a pimple you just had to burst?
Got to have your reputation on check
While forgetting about the ones you hurt

I left my blood sweat and tears
On the ground that was like a hammock
For all I did I deserved your cheers
But instead you gave me the flick

Now I sit here remembering life
Like seeing the tears I was left in
Had no clue ‘bout your sharpened knife
Like the one you stabbed my back with

You ejected me like a CD-ROM
With no more music to play
Treated me as if I was dumb
It could’ve been handled another way

You thought I walked for the last time
But I won’t without a fight
Watching your faith burn in your lies
You ain’t done with me just yet

I’ll take my knowledge elsewhere
For people that actually want it
Because I know you simply don’t care
You got the outcome that you wanted

I’m writing about you, are you happy?
Giving attention you desperately desired
Like the reaction that you got from me
When you told me I was fired

Sometimes I wonder why
I am lonely; all alone
I just lay here towards the sky
But I’m laying here on my own

I want to be laying with a lady
Feels like that dream is fading
The long nights that leave me hollow
I only wake up to an empty pillow

Laying on the ground saturated
With the sun beaming down I’ve evaporated
Heading to the clouds in all my pieces
To be at peace ‘til my fall increases

Better off safe than being sound
While levitating softly without a sorrow
I feel nothing not even the ground
Is there even a day called tomorrow?

Flashbacks of all memories
While falling from the troposphere
The speed’s burning up my arteries
Breaking up as the end is near

Loneliness has me so upset
It stays until I crumble
If only someone would cast their net
And save me from my endless tumble

Here I am once again
Tryna get an ounce of sleep
Insomnia holding onto my brain
Until I have the urge to weep

Managing to understand
That I’ve got nobody to hold
To end up dreaming of a wonderland
This emptiness has gotten old

Starving myself with my logics
Of potentially never finding love
Feeling overloaded with antibiotics
Don’t wanna be another white dove

Closing my eyelids momentarily
Though I can still see my surroundings
My heart stops beating temporarily
As I adjudicate my boundaries

I think I need to get out and scream
I’m losing weight quicker than a scale
Need to gain back my self-esteem
Hoping optimism would prevail

I wish I didn’t feel invisible
I wish I felt sane in my skin
I wish everything I did was reasonable
To survive the world I’m livin’ in

Tonight is one of those nights
When it’s dark and I sense all this pain
So I lay here and wait
For the thoughts to flood my brain

Too far away from light; it seems miles gone
Drifting into levitation with fragments of madness
Darkness throughout; sitting here withdrawn
It’s not just a human it’s an unwelcome sadness

Gone but not forgotten; falling and not stoppin’
Waiting for an idea to catch
My stomach and heart; won’t stop droppin’
I may as well start my scratch

Sometimes I want to cry
I shake my head
Instead I let out a sigh
And say “I want to be dead”

When everything becomes an issue
This feeling I need to question
I whisper that I miss you
Am I the only one feeling depression?

These moments that make me ache and stain
The thoughts I cannot hide
Like a white canvas that looks too plain
I feel so empty on the inside

I don’t want to vent about
Whether I should go through with suicide
But I feel like I’ve been wiped out
By a pesticide

Laying still while trying to restrain
Myself from looking at the canvas
Feeling numb with a hint of pain
These expectations have me anxious

It’s quite difficult to comprehend
That it’s all coked up with stamina
Unsure what’s ‘round the bend
I’m enticed by a private cinema

Flashbacks of past mistakes
And the solutions that would’ve prevented
Remembering what if’s I had to partake
Completely forgetting about the present

Sensations of my levitation
Seemed like I entered heaven
Stretching the limit of my imagination
Like vulnerability when I was seven

Eyelids reduced to a muscle spasm
Visualizing situations in my mind
So much vibrant enthusiasm
That’s still so undefined

Showing me my current dilemmas
Overflowing with thoughts of Celeste
Everything so arched like an omega
All the feelings that should be addressed

Contemplating whether I should bother
While strolling down memory lane
This ceiling has got me in a slither
Can anyone else feel this migraine?

The sunrays come through my window
As the shadow begins to decline
Arriving back from the meadow
Ready for the next storyline

I’ve always been that body
That would just sit back and observe
Another guy that’s so lucky
To take a woman I’ve tried to deserve

I find myself looking at a mirror
Searching for fragments in my skin
Why can I not find the inner warrior
That can take what I should win

All I see is my injuries
The stress engraved on my forehead
Limbs so frail; I’m weak at the knees
My mind is a fired warhead

It was her that I fully desired
How could I be too late?
It’s like I was too deluded or wired
Before she concluded my fate

We’ve all got scars
I know that much
But we can die at any time
So what’s the rush?

I just want this year to be done
Quick like it’s already been
I cannot recall it being fun
Hurry up twenty nineteen

I wonder what the future brings
Will I explore or stay alike?
I’ll wake in January as the songbird sings
Before I set on my hike

I want to know how I got here steering at the ceiling
If I can try to get up without falling
To carry on with life while dealing with this feeling
Only to try but then end up stalling

Can’t escape this mind of mine
Trapped in what’s inked on my skin
Same old thought all the time
Can’t seem to let it sink in

The massive weight upon my shoulder
Pins me down to pledge
The pressure’s only getting older
Taking me over the edge

Mirrors are my only competition
I’m the one the makes the decision
Opinions of my single reputation
No one else can see the envision

You can go ahead and tell
Whatever you’ve mistaken
Not my problem to dwell
Sorry if your head has shaken

All the thoughts still flowing through my brain
While laying here all but faded
I don’t know if I’m even sane
But I know I’m underestimated