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Mar 24 · 28
Bullets
AsJay Mar 24
What’s wrong with our planet?
Where did we go so wrong?
It’s slowly dying and I can’t stand it
It’s only here once and where we belong

I can’t begin, it’s difficult to pause
I sit here stunned in disbelief
How someone could go on and cause
A careless amount of trauma and grief

Saddening that they had to bother
And spread all their hate speech
If you cannot accept someone else’s color
Then who the **** are you to preach?

Hatred is a powerful word
It can boil over and stain in minutes
There’s a better way to cure that curse
Than to express it using a couple of bullets

Like Lennon said let’s just imagine
Jackson’s wish to heal the world
Like Luther King, I had a dream
But woke up and saw the hurt

Straight, bi, ******* or trans
Muslim, Catholic, Buddhist or Anglican
No matter where your background stands
We’re all people not just a manikin

I’m so angry at humanity right now
For not protecting the Earth
Let’s stop the wars and put the guns down
And support the next generation’s birth
Introducing... Bullets!
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Constructed entirely in 15 minutes after literally waking up this morning, 'Bullets' is a poem that has quite a powerful meaning behind it and a meaning that is quite important to me.
After the recent terrorist attack in my home country, in fact, my home city only 9 days ago... I was completely heartbroken and taken back by the hatred that we as a society have for one another based on our own beliefs.
The poem basically outlines my personal thoughts about the tragic string of violence around the world and the acceptance that is being overshadowed by so much hatred which personally... I think is quite a shame.
I feel that the poem can be related to so many people around the world and I'm ultimately so proud to have written this piece.
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Of course, my thoughts and prayers go out to the families who lost their loved ones in this tragic act of terror that really did hit close to home... may they rest in peace.
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Thank you for taking the time to read through this poem, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. Your support and inspiration really does help me with writing more of my poetry.
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Interested in reading more of my poetry?
If so, find me on my social platforms!
Instagram: @iamasjay
Tumblr: @underestimated034
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What Do You Think?
Comment Below & Share Your Thoughts!
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Who Am I?
I Am AsJay
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Mar 8 · 31
Poleaxe
AsJay Mar 8
This is me, can you see?
Look at what I’ve become
All that’s fallen right before me
Reduces me to being numb

Manipulation is my main streak
According to some opinions
Unsure what has people brutally critique
My reputation within everyday motions

So effortlessly they rip me apart
Like wood while the weapon attacks
Oblivious to my truth right from the start
I’m victimized to a poleaxe

I don’t know where they came from
Accusations with blunt points
All that has been spilt by someone
Really does disappoint

I see you there acting all cool
Wait, I beg your pardon?
Don’t mind me here laughing at you
Diamonds are just pressurized carbon

Insanely tryna make me feel toasted
You’re not and that’s very precise
To all the souls who have left me ghosted
Listen carefully to my advice

Never ever judge a doormat
Don’t think about it at all
They can make you fall flat
And watch you as you fall
Introducing... Poleaxe!
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Constructed entirely yesterday, Poleaxe came to mind resulting from recent events in my life that have basically left me perplexed and wondering how conclusions are made considering that the opinions came from something so tiny.
The title itself is a word that been's written down ever since looking through a dictionary randomly during a phone call and I thought it went well with the context of the poem itself.
For those wondering, I am the doormat that's subjected in the last paragraph and the message is pure and simple, I'm not someone that gets walked over easily haha.
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Thank you for taking the time to read through this poem, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. Your support and inspiration really does help me with writing more of my poetry.
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What Did You Think?
Comment & Let Me Know!
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Who Am I?
I Am AsJay
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Instagram: @iamasjay
Tumblr: @underestimated034
Feb 25 · 40
Burden
AsJay Feb 25
Look into my eyes, what do you see?
I bet you’ll say my pupil
Standing there looking straight through me
I must be invisible to you people

I wish my actions reflected the extent
Innocence and the pain I’m causing
To all of the people in my past and present
I’m sorry for being a burden

Distancing is the only option
For me when I’ve caused such grief
Promise me you won’t show any emotion
Everyone’s stay is already brief

I’m sick of being the person to explain
Everything I mean when I’m mistaken
At the breaking point time and time again
It all comes down to misinterpretation

I don’t understand why I’m so naive
Is it me or am I the sole confusion
Don’t be the person that chooses to grieve
When I become another fusion

Look at me now, I’m like an eagle
Soaring as I knew I would
Listen to the wind and hear my call
If only I had been understood
Feb 25 · 49
The Flick
AsJay Feb 25
Look at what you put me through
The unnecessary distress and deceit
Endless nights are now nothing new
Your obligations are now complete

I see I’ve been a pain in the neck
Was I a pimple you just had to burst?
Got to have your reputation on check
While forgetting about the ones you hurt

I left my blood sweat and tears
On the ground that was like a hammock
For all I did I deserved your cheers
But instead you gave me the flick

Now I sit here remembering life
Like seeing the tears I was left in
Had no clue ‘bout your sharpened knife
Like the one you stabbed my back with

You ejected me like a CD-ROM
With no more music to play
Treated me as if I was dumb
It could’ve been handled another way

You thought I walked for the last time
But I won’t without a fight
Watching your faith burn in your lies
You ain’t done with me just yet

I’ll take my knowledge elsewhere
For people that actually want it
Because I know you simply don’t care
You got the outcome that you wanted

I’m writing about you, are you happy?
Giving attention you desperately desired
Like the reaction that you got from me
When you told me I was fired
Jan 1 · 25
Falling
AsJay Jan 1
Sometimes I wonder why
I am lonely; all alone
I just lay here towards the sky
But I’m laying here on my own

I want to be laying with a lady
Feels like that dream is fading
The long nights that leave me hollow
I only wake up to an empty pillow

Laying on the ground saturated
With the sun beaming down I’ve evaporated
Heading to the clouds in all my pieces
To be at peace ‘til my fall increases

Better off safe than being sound
While levitating softly without a sorrow
I feel nothing not even the ground
Is there even a day called tomorrow?

Flashbacks of all memories
While falling from the troposphere
The speed’s burning up my arteries
Breaking up as the end is near

Loneliness has me so upset
It stays until I crumble
If only someone would cast their net
And save me from my endless tumble
Jan 1 · 39
I Wish
AsJay Jan 1
Here I am once again
Tryna get an ounce of sleep
Insomnia holding onto my brain
Until I have the urge to weep

Managing to understand
That I’ve got nobody to hold
To end up dreaming of a wonderland
This emptiness has gotten old

Starving myself with my logics
Of potentially never finding love
Feeling overloaded with antibiotics
Don’t wanna be another white dove

Closing my eyelids momentarily
Though I can still see my surroundings
My heart stops beating temporarily
As I adjudicate my boundaries

I think I need to get out and scream
I’m losing weight quicker than a scale
Need to gain back my self-esteem
Hoping optimism would prevail

I wish I didn’t feel invisible
I wish I felt sane in my skin
I wish everything I did was reasonable
To survive the world I’m livin’ in
Dec 2018 · 23
Pesticide
AsJay Dec 2018
Tonight is one of those nights
When it’s dark and I sense all this pain
So I lay here and wait
For the thoughts to flood my brain

Too far away from light; it seems miles gone
Drifting into levitation with fragments of madness
Darkness throughout; sitting here withdrawn
It’s not just a human it’s an unwelcome sadness

Gone but not forgotten; falling and not stoppin’
Waiting for an idea to catch
My stomach and heart; won’t stop droppin’
I may as well start my scratch

Sometimes I want to cry
I shake my head
Instead I let out a sigh
And say “I want to be dead”

When everything becomes an issue
This feeling I need to question
I whisper that I miss you
Am I the only one feeling depression?

These moments that make me ache and stain
The thoughts I cannot hide
Like a white canvas that looks too plain
I feel so empty on the inside

I don’t want to vent about
Whether I should go through with suicide
But I feel like I’ve been wiped out
By a pesticide
Welcome to Pesticide!
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Probably in my personal top three, Pesticide was constructed in 2017 when my life wasn't exactly going so well [to say the least]. In the mind that was contemplating suicide, word effortlessly flowed from this poem which only took 10 minutes to write from start to finish.
That in itself is quite impressive even for my standards.
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Hope You Enjoyed This Poem!
If so, let me know what you think.
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Thanks. :)
Dec 2018 · 49
Cinema
AsJay Dec 2018
Laying still while trying to restrain
Myself from looking at the canvas
Feeling numb with a hint of pain
These expectations have me anxious

It’s quite difficult to comprehend
That it’s all coked up with stamina
Unsure what’s ‘round the bend
I’m enticed by a private cinema

Flashbacks of past mistakes
And the solutions that would’ve prevented
Remembering what if’s I had to partake
Completely forgetting about the present

Sensations of my levitation
Seemed like I entered heaven
Stretching the limit of my imagination
Like vulnerability when I was seven

Eyelids reduced to a muscle spasm
Visualizing situations in my mind
So much vibrant enthusiasm
That’s still so undefined

Showing me my current dilemmas
Overflowing with thoughts of Celeste
Everything so arched like an omega
All the feelings that should be addressed

Contemplating whether I should bother
While strolling down memory lane
This ceiling has got me in a slither
Can anyone else feel this migraine?

The sunrays come through my window
As the shadow begins to decline
Arriving back from the meadow
Ready for the next storyline
Welcome to Cinema!
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Constructed in mid to late September, Cinema is about my everlasting battle with my mind at the late hours of night and my ceiling, which is described in the poem as a cinema [hence the tltie], there's also aspects of a crush that I had during this time that's mentioned in the poem as well.
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The half of the poem was quite difficult to construct, but I'm happy with the outcome nevertheless.
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What Do You Think?
Tell Me Your Thoughts Below!
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Hope You Enjoyed This Poem!
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Thanks! :)
Nov 2018 · 46
This Year
AsJay Nov 2018
I’ve always been that body
That would just sit back and observe
Another guy that’s so lucky
To take a woman I’ve tried to deserve

I find myself looking at a mirror
Searching for fragments in my skin
Why can I not find the inner warrior
That can take what I should win

All I see is my injuries
The stress engraved on my forehead
Limbs so frail; I’m weak at the knees
My mind is a fired warhead

It was her that I fully desired
How could I be too late?
It’s like I was too deluded or wired
Before she concluded my fate

We’ve all got scars
I know that much
But we can die at any time
So what’s the rush?

I just want this year to be done
Quick like it’s already been
I cannot recall it being fun
Hurry up twenty nineteen

I wonder what the future brings
Will I explore or stay alike?
I’ll wake in January as the songbird sings
Before I set on my hike
This Year... what a year it's been? It's gone qucikly hasn't it?
This poem is the newest creation from the hatch and is about my perspective of how 'this year' has been.
In the poem I speak about certain events that took place throughout the course of the year, my literal thoughts while going through traumas [fifth paragraph] and questions for the future as I really REALLY don't like the month of Decemeber [hence why I'm realeasing this on the last day of November].
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Hope You Enjoy This Poem...!
What Do You Think?
Comment & Let Me Know!
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Nov 2018 · 41
Underestimated
AsJay Nov 2018
I want to know how I got here steering at the ceiling
If I can try to get up without falling
To carry on with life while dealing with this feeling
Only to try but then end up stalling

Can’t escape this mind of mine
Trapped in what’s inked on my skin
Same old thought all the time
Can’t seem to let it sink in

The massive weight upon my shoulder
Pins me down to pledge
The pressure’s only getting older
Taking me over the edge

Mirrors are my only competition
I’m the one the makes the decision
Opinions of my single reputation
No one else can see the envision

You can go ahead and tell
Whatever you’ve mistaken
Not my problem to dwell
Sorry if your head has shaken

All the thoughts still flowing through my brain
While laying here all but faded
I don’t know if I’m even sane
But I know I’m underestimated
Written in September 2017, Underestimated came to mind after being totally misunderstood countless times to the point where it got to me, unfortunately, I couldn't seem to be able to voice my feelings about this, so those feelings were transformed into this very poem.
Just like 'Gone With The Wind' and 'Visible', this one's predominately about what I've dealt with throughout my life, that being the judgments from people, being misunderstood and having to explain my intentions in order to be understood. I've realized many times that I'm quite an underestimated person, so that realization turned into this poem.
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Hope You Enjoyed!
Comment & Let Me Know What You Think!
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Nov 2018 · 35
Visible
AsJay Nov 2018
You let your feelings be said on paper
Rather than saying it verbal
Amazing how the emotions fade like vapor
I start to wonder, am I visible?

Staring at me as if I’m thick
You really think I’m that ******?
Who am I to you, some young *****?
Guess you don’t know I heard you say it

I wish I could read your mind
To see where you get your motives
Wondering why you think I’m blind
When I see you carrying your explosives

Opinions dividing me as a human
No matter what; no one’s thrilled
One thing surprising is the confusion
Better be careful to not get killed

Living life without a say
Going through all the struggles
Tryna make it out as though I am brave
Though my pain should be clearly visible

Where are my friends, are they here?
Ghostly marking their presence
I think I can sense something in the air
Or maybe that’s just my annoyance
The second of my trilogy of poems... Visible is another one of the poems in my portfolio that I gladly sit back and grin at in admiration, because of such vibrancy within the words I've used.
Just like the previous poem, that being 'Gone With The Wind', this poem is mostly a stab at what I've seen in my life and judgements made against me.
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Hope You Enjoy!
Comment & Let Me Know Your Thoughts!
Nov 2018 · 41
Gone With The Wind
AsJay Nov 2018
I am damaged, I am raw
In pain but I don’t feel sore
Why do people stand and glare
Can you not see me here?

I’ve evaporated into a fine mist
Yeah I know, I get the gist
Everyone seems determined
To make sure I’ve gone with the wind

I wonder if it even comes to mind
Or whether people are being purposely blind
When you spit accusations at my face
It’s not even funny if that’s the case

Maybe it’s when I speak my thoughts
Loudly spoken of all sorts
I know that I may be rude
Based on reminders or maybe my mood

Who knows what lay beneath
My very soul after grinding my teeth
Oh my gosh, I’m being sinned
Guess that’s me done, I’m gone with the wind
One of those poems that makes me smile from how I managed to write something as powerful as this straight from the questions I ask myself on a daily basis... Gone With The Wind is basically about my perspective on life.
This poem really does begin a trilogy of poems if you want to call it that, as the following two pretty much have a similar meaning and vibe to them.
Hope you liked this poem, even better... mind 'blown'.
Enjoy!
Nov 2018 · 78
Willows
AsJay Nov 2018
Knowing my head’s telling me lies
But my throat hurts as it swallows
Thoughts buzzing ‘round like fireflies
While underneath the willows

From the rising of the sun
To the sunset during summer
It’s hard to forget someone
That gave you so much to remember

Cannot sleep in this empty bed
Unsure if I’m gonna cope
Many colorful shapes in my head
Like an everlasting kaleidoscope

Again seeing you in my cavity
When you wrote an address that night
That wasn’t just a dream to me
I’m gonna hyperventilate

Figuring out what happened to you
Why our talks ended so sudden
Still wanting to find the truth
Two years with completely nothing

It’s easier to move on I know
But you have to understand
Everyone said to just let go
I guess I was a one-man band

I remember when I saw her face
When I heard her say my name
She wasn’t just another grace
I felt her make me sane

Delusion they call it, sensing their hate
I know I saw you in every dream
Hope doesn’t have an expiry date
But silence is the loudest scream
This poem, Willows, was a rather emotional piece to come up with and took some time to construct because of the emotion and story behind it.
The poem is about a person that came into my life back a few years ago, we became close but have since lost contact and the connection that was once so fluent, although she and her memory has stayed with me ever since.
Does anyone else out there wish that sometimes they didn't have such a good memory? Because I most certainly do, but she's a memory I'd rather keep in mind.
Anywho, so here it is... my latest poem, Willows.
Enjoy!
Nov 2018 · 107
Freedom
AsJay Nov 2018
Why does it take so much?
I’m only wanting to feel happiness
Dreaming of having it in my clutch
But all I’ve got is emptiness

The night sky looks so glim
Stars shining at every corner
Knowing my chances are pretty grim
I’ll go stand over by the border

Fallen from my perch
Of my broken and eroding kingdom
At least now I’ve got the urge
To ******* freedom

Just like a jet soaring the sky
Or like the open water for a fish
I’ve always said I’ve wanted to fly
And now I have my wish

My love for you is strong in every way
While writing this I’ve begun to cry
‘Cause the only thing I feel I can say
Is goodbye
Nov 2018 · 811
For the Sake of Obedience
AsJay Nov 2018
Am I a man, or a liability
Visioning myself out of home
All my walls taller than me
And the unescaped feeling of being alone

I sit there like a garden gnome
Staring my fate right into its soul
Thinking I’ll start sipping that Styrofoam
Cos it’s home where I bear the insult

“It won’t work out, it never does”
So much for your encouragement
Wish I was with the clever ones
Running free like a thoroughbred

Preaching at me about having patience
Look at you, you’re full of it
What’s that word you’ve never experienced?
Another one comes to mind, cough cough ‘hypocrite’!

I can’t move on from your effluences
I’m reminded each time I try to forget
Back engaged within those experiences
Then you go and ask why I’m upset?

Wish you could see what I wish
That age doesn’t define anything
The opportunities that went with the mist
When all my friends had everything

Seems like my words make a stain
All I ever do is to be wanted
I have the strength of an aeroplane
That goes towards the wind and not with it

Tonight I’m lonely I can almost cry
In the wake of my very absence
But around you, I keep my cheeks dry
For the sake of your obedience
This poem was quite a task in the making, took roughly a month to construct with multiple lines coming to mind [and they still are].
The poem itself is basically about my life growing up at home and the relationships with the people within the home.
Nov 2018 · 29
Reflection
AsJay Nov 2018
Laying here looking across the bed
Wondering who’s creasing the pillows
I’m always thinking of you in my head
Oh I miss you more than my sorrows

There’s something about the rain
That turns everything so doom and gloom
Making the memories fade but stain
Without you in this lonely room

You haunt me throughout my dreams
Right until the sunrise at dawn
Hard to comprehend that you’re up there
Hope your mamma’s keeping you warm

I want to know if you’re safe and secure
Or still in love with me the same
Cannot believe that I did little to search
I’ll always carry self-regret and blame

Nowadays I don’t know who I am
Or who I’m meant to be
Without the one thing that made me a man
I ******* miss you baby

Now when I speak someone ends up hurting
I’m not one for giving affection
Echoes saying that I’m a good person
While I can’t even stand my own reflection
Nov 2018 · 468
Bullies
AsJay Nov 2018
I was once the new boy in school
There was I all shy and alone
Where I was I had no clue
Just knew to be on my own

Took just three days
To have an unwelcome crowd
Showing their ways
To keep pulling me down

Not knowing the human in me
Hiding the wounds and fracture
Only knew I was a refugee
From a place that met mother nature

If only you knew the damage
Of the trauma from your attempt
All the stress I had to manage
When I already felt exempt

Depressed enough to even decide
Whether everything was proof
To consider attempting suicide
Due to hanging from my roof

Chose to ignore the *******
Continuously sinking my hopes
Understood their empty morals
While I was trying to cope

I grew into a better man
Life is better than I seemed
Believed in doing whatever I can
To do what I’ve always dreamed

No matter what you’re going through
Or convinced light will dim
Just know that if you be you
You could never let the bullies win
Entirely constructed within a period of 24 hours, this poem is about my ordeal back in 2011-2012 when I relocated schools and cities after the event of an earthquake in my home city. I can't say the reception I received was considerate or healthy.
You could say the poem shows a before, during and after concept because it's basically a story of what actually happened.
The finish is a message to anyone going through either emotional or mental discomfort.

— The End —