Everyone says that there’s a light at the end of a tunnel
But to be honest I’m just so **** done with the tunnel itself

I used to be better at being
“Fine”

The sight of my blood trickling down my arm
Slowly at first but quickly turning into red rushing down my wrist
The smell of lit matches burning through something
that should have never been touched in the first place
Holding my throat contemplating whether or not to squeeze it
Until it bruises purple and blue
The feeling of not wanting to be alive
Ah yes
What a wonderful bliss of forgetting my thoughts
as I drift away to never be heard from again

I sometimes I look at my body
And just break
I break because I’m
Sensitive
Insecure
Easily scared
And everything that people say
Goes straight to my
Heart

Whenever I look at you
It’s like time stops

If I was lost
Could I  find my way home?

If I was found
Would I even want to go home?

My mind is a maze
The etching on my skin is the proof
I tried to reach out for help
But my heart shattered
Before I could
Get to you

She gives in
To the sins
Of death
Every breath
She takes
She might catch a break
But the gauze
Says she’s on pause
Going through life
With a knife
To her skin
Starving to be thin
Waiting for a day
She’ll find a way
To survive

Her eyes glowed
However her pain never showed
As she looked straight into my eyes
She lied that she was fine
I can’t blame her though
I did the same exact thing

I dove too deep
Loved her too much
I didn’t want to let go
But she left anyways

"Ugly"
Wounds ******
I don't believe in myself
Put your feelings on top of that
Bookshelf
Hide away
I have nothing to say
I'm alone in this world
Life in itself is a hurdle
I'm long gone
My family's love is overdone
Everyone's fake
They are just like snakes
Friendly then deadly
Comforting yet scary
I can't handle this
Throw me into the abyss
Already

She was the angel that got me through part of my personal hell

i
just
want
to
give
up

Time after time
Rhyme after rhyme
I’m still crying inside
I ask myself why?
Why can’t I see
What they think they know about me
Or
For
What they knew about me

Your smile was the sun
But it didn’t last for very long
You were bored
So death came knocking at your back door
You cherished me
Yet I couldn’t see
That through the rain
You were in pain
Your heart was so pure
I was so sure
We were just friends
But in the end
I loved you so much
Sadly it was to late for such

Emotions

they say I need to be loved
they say i’m unlovable
they say I am worthy
they say i’m worthless
at this point
i’m
unsure what
I
want

Being alone
Hurts just
As much
As being with
You

I say I’m fine
that I’m good
Even though I know I’m not
I want someone to know I’m not
I’m scared to say anything though
I’m afraid they’ll hate me
As much as I hate myself

You always told me to hold on tight
Almost like you knew
What I would have to go through
Without you

When she cried
Instead of smiling

When she wore long sleeves
Instead of wearing a shirt

When she only acted kind to others
Instead of herself

When she didn’t say I love you
Instead she said nothing at all

When she had friends
Instead now she sits alone

When she had clear skin
Instead bears scars now

When she said goodbye
Instead of goodnight


You didn’t notice

Lying here in bed
Wanting to cry and bang my head
I don’t know why I feel so much
I think it’s just because
I woke up as me

Her blood dripped down her arms
As she wrote letters
When said goodbye to the world
Yet I didn’t get to say goodbye to her
what a cruel world
Not even a clue how to deal with depression
She just had to cope on her own
She couldn’t tell anyone
As her body dropped to the floor



She’s now

Gone

People say broken can be fixed
But what if I’ve been shattered to dust
No amount of care and time can fix that

You loved me
It broke you
Hey are you okay
Never once said
Because I'm yours
You wrote
I cried
All night
Because I lost you
My diamond
my starlight
On a dark night
Or at the peek of dawn
During the day
You say
I've been waiting
In my dreams
I see you
In my nightmares
I imagine
You screaming
From pain
That I caused
Cause dearie
In my bright eyes
You saw hurt
And you don't know
How much you still do
To me
Even though you've
Moved on
Parts of me
My heart
My soul
My smile
Is gone
I don't have people
Like you
I regret My decisions
24/7
I have memories
That try running
Away
But I catch them
Because all I have of you
Are the thoughts
Inside my head
Heartbreak
Is what I gave
Now kindness
Is what I do
What went wrong
Nothing
This is all because of you
*** you pushed me
Forwards
Backwards
All I have is because
You smiled
Firstly
Lastly
Yet
Sadly
You deserve nothing
But true happiness
I couldn't  give that to you
I'm sorry
Please forgive me