Them: I don’t see any scars
Me: why would I leave scars where you can see?

Most people have something to show
Something to be proud of
Awards
Medals
Certificates
Scholarships
Jobs
People they’ve met
Fame
Fortune
Love

The only things I have under my belt are
Scars
Hospital visits
Knowledge on how to hide blades and matches
Knowing my way around rules at “facilities”
Random facts about suicide rates
Knowing hundreds of painful and sad quotes off the top of my head
Heartbreak
Being overly knowledgeable on things like PTSD, depression and anxiety
ME teaching the professionals on mental health’s tricks and coping skills
Already knowing every single ******* thing THEY teach
Being able to get around the cops questions without any trouble
Being able to convince my friends and therapists I’m “fine” in a matter of minutes
Being able to cry without anyone noticing
Being able to change to subject so **** easily
Pain
Anxiety
And being able to recite every little ******* thing people have been trying to drill in my head my whole ******* life without a second thought

You were the world to me
I just wish
You could’ve seen
You were enough for me

Sometimes I just go into a daydream
And never want to come back to reality

Don’t stare at me
Like I’m an oddity
Like I’m a freak
Like I’m a monster
Because I don’t need you to look at me like that
when I already know I am

Don’t open you mouth when your angry
You’ll regret it
Don’t mutter
It’s not ladylike
Don’t curse
You won’t be respected
Don’t talk about politics
You’re too young
Don’t talk about sexuality
It makes others uncomfortable
Don’t talk about your emotions
It’s selfish
Don’t cry while talking
No one will understand you
Don’t yell
No one will listen

Don’t just don’t
No one wants to hear your voice

Dark crimson blood
Stains the many pages of my story
The life I was so harshly given
Is ripped between the lines
Just like my own calloused skin
My book is deeply burned at the edges
Just like the scars I have once were
The paragraphs soaked and blurry
From every single tear I’ve every shed
I feel like the novel I’ve created
Is about to come to an abrupt end
Even though others say
That it just began

I’m just here sitting in my bed
Watching anime and reading
Bored out of my mind
And numb to my soul

You know
I really wish
I was okay
But I know I’m not

I’m in this huge crowd of people
So why do I still feel
So alone

When you need them the most
It’s like they disappear