Honeybee

Honeybee Mar 2021

Being alive
Being happy
Being confident
Is something that I thought I could achieve at one point
Now I realize that was a stupid thought

Honeybee Mar 2021

Oceans

My emotions and thoughts are just like an ocean
And I’m drowning on the last bits of the boat of insecurities
And I’m barely surviving on the lifeboat of being “fine”

Honeybee Mar 2021

“leave me alone”

i can’t go on anymore

save me

i need help

don’t leave me

stay

please I can’t do this anymore

The thoughts behind the words

Show me that you care enough to stay

Honeybee Mar 2021

Forgiveness

I forgive others so easily
My abusers
Forgiven
My bullies
I don’t blame them at all
My demons
It’s not their fault I’m suicidal
The people who have left me
I would leave myself too if I could

But when it comes to forgiving myself
I just can’t

Why is that?

Honeybee Mar 2021

Words

They’re important
They can change someone
For better or for worse
So if they’re so special
Why don’t I have any?

I guess I just can’t explain it

Honeybee Mar 2021

I tell my mom daily that...

There’s a difference between living and surviving
And I’m on the brink of death

Thanks for your support
I’m trying to write again
It’s just hard. It’s nice to know that people think I make a difference though.
So yeah I’m trying
I’d appreciate it if you guys stuck with me while I’m going through this episode of numbness and depression
But if you don’t want to that’s okay too

Honeybee Mar 2021

Numb

I’m just sitting in my tub
Not taking a bath
It’s actually completely dry
Just sitting
Thinking
Crying

I’m trying to write I really am but it’s really hard
When I feel like this it’s hard to even get out of bed
So I’m trying