Honeybee

Honeybee Sep 2020

When she cried
Instead of smiling

When she wore long sleeves
Instead of wearing a shirt

When she only acted kind to others
Instead of herself

When she didn’t say I love you
Instead she said nothing at all

When she had friends
Instead now she sits alone

When she had clear skin
Instead bears scars now

When she said goodbye
Instead of goodnight

You didn’t notice

Honeybee Sep 2020

Pain

You can see the pain
Leaves a blood stain
Have sat at a gray window
Cried into my pillow
A lot of nights
I think about the fights
That I caused
I wish I could have it paused
Could have fixed it
At least a little bit
Arguing every night
I was in my blanket pulled tight
Or in the tub begging to drown
All I had was a frown
"Keep your head up"
It wasn't just a bump
You did this
Back then there was no bliss
I was thinking of a day
Where things might go a little my way
But it never did

Honeybee Sep 2020

Already

"Ugly"
Wounds ******
I don't believe in myself
Put your feelings on top of that
Bookshelf
Hide away
I have nothing to say
I'm alone in this world
Life in itself is a hurdle
I'm long gone
My family's love is overdone
Everyone's fake
They are just like snakes
Friendly then deadly
Comforting yet scary
I can't handle this
Throw me into the abyss
Already

Honeybee Sep 2020

Knowing

Time after time
Rhyme after rhyme
I’m still crying inside
I ask myself why?
Why can’t I see
What they think they know about me
Or
For
What they knew about me

I hope this makes sense😣

Honeybee Sep 2020

Sins

She gives in
To the sins
Of death
Every breath
She takes
She might catch a break
But the gauze
Says she’s on pause
Going through life
With a knife
To her skin
Starving to be thin
Waiting for a day
She’ll find a way
To survive

Honeybee Sep 2020

Morning

Lying here in bed
Wanting to cry and bang my head
I don’t know why I feel so much
I think it’s just because
I woke up as me

I struggle with very low self esteem

I’m working on it though

Honeybee Sep 2020

Disorders

Mental Disorders
Are out of order for a reason
So we can see the seasons
Uniquely
We are health and pain
We see beauty in the rain
We may be considered in a craze
But I consider our brains like a maze
Traps and dead ends
but like water and gardens
beauty

We are all different in our own ways. Just remember everyone is going through their own thing