Someone

Someone Jun 2014

I realized today that I don't have anyone who I call my "best friend".
I sometimes think that I have one.
But then I tell them and I can tell by their response usually if it's real
Or not.

I told a boy once that he was my best friend.
It was honestly nothing more than friendship with us.
He said, "You're mine too."
The way that he said it though...
It was so monotone.
Like he told me just to make it less awkward.

I told a girl once that she was my best friend.
She said "You're mine too."
She never showed it though.
She never listened to me.
Answered me back.
Or seemed to care about me unless it included her or it was drama filled gossip about someone's life.

I once told another girl that she was my best friend.
She didn't answer me back.
She stopped talking to me and we grew apart.

The hard thing about "best friends", is that you each have to feel the same way about each other.

I have even had people say I was their best friend.
I never felt the same though.
I always said "Awh, thank you."
Then they would leave me.
Like everyone else.

I thought I should be my own best friend once.
But like I said,
You have to have a mutual love for each other.
And to be honest...
I don't like myself a lot of the time.

So I wonder.
If I wasn't stuck with myself,
Would I leave me too?

Someone May 2014

Two Of Me

I have two of me you see.
One of me is nice and full of glee.
Happy
Crazy
Wild
Fun
And free.
That's the me everyone wants to see.

The other one of me you see,
Is a bit sadder and doesn't have as much glee.
This other side of me
Keeps more to itself
And thinks about things.
Like,
Life
Love
Sadness
And Sleep.

One likes to make people smile.
The other likes to make people think.

One likes to sleep and sometimes feels weak.
The other is full of energy and laughs as it speaks.

Everyone loves the happy me,
But I'm not sure if it really is me.

I never understood how someone might
Think that the other me
Is more of a plight
That they need to fight.

I feel like one of me is a charade
That I'm tired of putting on
For the people who would leave me
If I wasn't always the happy one.

That fear is something that's hard for me to bare.
So what do I do?

I guess I'll sit down and try to think this through.........

Someone May 2014

My Speech

This would be my graduation speech if I were to give one:

Hey guys. So......we did it. We actually did it. It's crazy huh? Some of you are going to go on and be actors, doctors, singers, care givers, teachers, and much more. To be honest, I don't really like all of you. Nor do I know all of you. But hey, how could I when we are in a school with about 1,000 kids? May not seem like many kids to some people who have gone to bigger schools, but it's a lot for us. Regardless of whether I know you or like you, I know you will all go on to do great things regardless, because I have seen each of you complete your goals, or strive so hard for the goals you have made for the future. For some of you, your goal was to graduate high school. For some of you it is to get accepted to college. And, for others, like myself, it is to go on and make a change in the world, no matter how big or small the change may be. No goal is to small or to big for you to accomplish, and for some of you, now is the time that I must congratulate you for accomplishing a goal of yours today. Good luck to any of you who have yet to get there. Some of you have become my friends, and some, even more than friends. You have become my family. My brothers and sisters. I truly love you all and nothing else will ever be like our high school experience. So remember the good times from all these years. Keep in touch with all of your friends, and leave all the childish drama behind you. Move on. Make new friends, meet new people, strive for your dreams. Have a family. Teach your kids to be the best they can be and always support them and love them the best that you can as you try to set good examples for them. Last of all, never give up. I believe in you. And please make yourselves proud as you start this new part of life. Thank you.

Someone May 2014

Tonight.

Tonight A lot of you left.
Tonight you all embark on a new journey of life.
You have overcome all that they have thrown at you.
You hated this place.
Yet,
You couldn't be any sadder to leave.
For most of you anyway.
Your new life begins now.
Though you might take some of the past with you
It is a time for new beginnings.
You leave us today
To become something greater tomorrow.
We will miss you.
We love you.
But hopefully we will soon meet again
In our futures.
I know this is not the end
Although it may feel like it.
I hope we don't grow apart.
But, the truth is most of you will have better things to do with your time
Until you decide
To remember
Us.
This place.
And I hope you get out
I really do.
But I also hope
That you remember to come back.
Because this was our beginning.
And I hope
Our beginning meant something to you too.
Goodbye.

To the graduates that have had me as a part of their lives.

#goodbye #graduation #graduates #graduation2014 #graduatesof2014 #illmissyou

Someone May 2014

I heard a man.

I heard a man speak tonight.
He spoke of another man.
He spoke of a man who he believed was higher.
He said that this man was
Caring
Loving
A Leader.
A man who knows all.

He also spoke of another man.
He said that this man was very different.
This man was said to be evil.
He tried to convince others to do his bidding.
He tried to make everyone
Obey him and form against the other man.
He was said to be
Evil
A Liar
Manipulative
And Selfish.

I laughed.

All that this man said
All that he believed
Was based off of what others told him
About these men
And what he had thought himself.
It was his opinion.

His opinion
Was off of others opinions
Who were off of others opinions
Off of others opinions
And so on.

So who is this
Opinionated man
To tell me that my
Opinions
Thoughts
Beliefs
Of these men

Were wrong?

Then when this man tries to ask
Why you think the way you do
It shouldn't be surprising
That typically they themselves
Can not explain their own answer
To their own question.

So please think about what you
Hear
See
Actually know
And speak.

Because you are no higher
For thinking that your opinion
Is more correct
Than someone else's opinion.

Someone May 2014

Moving on.

Sometimes I get sad when I think about:

- How we used to be joined at the hip.
- All my friends leaving to live their own separate lives.
- Someone I love being lonely in a dangerous new place.
- Soon leaving my friends to live my own separate life.
- Not being as close as I am with some people later on.
- People treating my loved ones badly.
- Not being able to follow my dreams.

But I know that:

- That was a long time ago and I have found that it was for the better.
- They are hopefully following their dreams and are happy.
- Something most people would be afraid of but I will just try to check up on them once in a while and let them live their lives.
- I need to learn to spread my wings and just try to keep in touch with everyone.
- I will make time for them, even if it's just a little. Hopefully they do the same.
- I will always stick by them and sand up for them.
- I will try my hardest and I will do my best and even if that's not enough, I will at least know that I did all i could and gave it all that I have.

I'll be moving on.

Hopefully for the better...