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 Nov 2015 Santiago
Innocent
Widow
The word itself is dreadful
It has no synonym, only a definition
It has a color, black
It has words
Grief, tears, loneliness, poverty,  panic, guilt and anger

Experts abound
Describing feelings
Reciting the most recent stages of grief like a rosary
With the promise that time will heal

Only she feels  ignorant, confused and incompetent
Widowhood a club that no one elects to join
 Nov 2015 Santiago
DC raw love
Life
 Nov 2015 Santiago
DC raw love
Realities in life,
keep us footed...

Fantasies in life,
keep us dreaming....

Sadness in life,
will eventually pass....

Happiness in life,
keeps us from being sad....

Heartache in life,
keeps us hurting....

Crying in life,
keeps us in pain....

Love of life,
keeps us wanting.....

Life for love,
keeps us looking....

Resentment in life,
keeps one angry.....

Envy in life,
keeps one jealous....

Anger is one,
keeps one mad....

Responsibility in life,
keeps one working....

Peace in life ,
keeps one content....
 Nov 2015 Santiago
Public Diary
i was about to write something, but these thoughts should be written in a journal, not made public to make me seem desperate for attention when really i just want to get these feelings out
 Nov 2015 Santiago
ryn
Advice
 Nov 2015 Santiago
ryn
People may tell you to not cry...
I won't because I know the difference.
They think they know when in fact they lie...
I say bury yourself in the deepest of detriments.

They may say that a new day will come...
They only spout what they can't comprehend.
They forget that you are ailing from a broken heart and that you're not dumb.
There's only you in your space, alone you stand...

Textbook responses are all they can offer...
They know not that it'll only make things worse...
There can be no replies so nice and proper.
To rid you of your life, your plight, your curse.

They may even share personal events that they think familiar.
Thinking what worked for them may work for you.
But no two situations are the same, albeit looking quite similar.
At the end of the day, you only owe it to yourself to pull yourself through.

I say feed your pain, grieve hard if you must
Wallow... Dwell... Drown yourself everyday.
Let your blood sear your insides, beneath your crumbling crust.
Let the world around you descend into destruction and decay.

What made me the expert...
To say these horrid, putrid things.
Because I am you and we both lay in the dirt.
Driven mad by the persistent echoes of our own misgivings.

I'm no expert... I am just a broken man.
Telling you to let yourself be caught in your own sad and angry song.
Be weak... Be as weak as you possibly can...
So you could rise from the ashes and emerge hale and strong.
A chat I had with a friend made me realise... "What doesn't **** you, makes you stronger..." And I know this to be true... So...

"Be very weak... So you could be strong..."
- ryn

Dedicated to all the broken hearts out there...
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