I drank up my sadness
And let the spirits wash me clean
Tomorrow I will again remember
The person that I've been

We shared a glance
We'll keep it our secret
We're holding hands
Behind the bleachers
You keep on smiling
You're making it weird
But I like your face
So I think I'll keep it
You tied my laces
Knelt down to my sneakers
It felt like a moment
My heart fell out my T-shirt
You're not just some guy
I giggle to my friends with
You've become my guy
And thats all that matters

You've got her stuck in your teeth
I taste her whenever you kiss me
The aftertaste of what could've been
a bitter sweet remembrance of everything you're missing
while I lay here in a space left by another person
barely fulfilling the taste after which you're thirsting.

I buried your number
In a pool of empty digets
I forgot your name
After you mentioned it at the bar
But for the life of me
When I woke up the next morning
Your face stuck to the back of my eyelids
like lead set in tar
And for dear humanity
While I drank my black coffee
I couldn't remember anything about who the hell you were

There's so many people flowing through you
That your veins have enlarged
Because you treat your heart like a parking garage

My hours are gone with the wind
They're soaked in the folds of your skin
The minutes spent touching
Amounted to nothing
And I'll never see them again

My edges were sharp from the very start
My attitude is a product of a broken heart
Now I carry a treasure in need of guarding
Creating an environment for my heart to harden

I'm standing on the high way
Screaming at the top of my lungs
Begging someone to love me

She is trapped
The sun had caught her
She's hasn't been a child
She's nobody's daughter

Going on getaways wearing nothing but wits
And the almond cream lotion she butters herself with
The sun disappears, it's not beauty that fades
Under her white bikini and Versace shades

You think you understand everyone's contemplations
When actually they're all your own considerations

And while you're considering what they all consider
You fail to recognize that you are made of mirrors

I found you deep in a cut drenched and *****
you were soaked down to your socks in your own self pity
When you flickered and flinched as I removed the bandage
and dabbed off the blood left by years of damaged,
you asked me to check in 12 years from that moment,
to see if you had blossomed from that paddle of atonement
Do you still hate that man I picked up off the floor
and dragged like lead through the valley of remorse?
If your answer is yes, then say less my friend
But you whisper No, then let me find you once again.

Time is a starving god
And each year she becomes more savage
Her gluttonous face stuffing
My years drip from her cheeks
As if my slow aging is payment for my existence
I give a year to live the next
Turning life onto a sacrificial death
To appease an ever unsatisfied deity
A mindless consumer of the harshest variety

There is a tear in my leather coat
That reminds of a letter a friend wrote
The words were tough like the material is dense
And like that tear, it was deep and intense
A useless coat is what a tiny rip can bring
Like a one page letter could ruined a good thing

You silly girl
Stretching out of your habitat to seek ways to get hurt
Lending your heart out like pieces of furniture
For other peoples comfort
You use your lips like billboards
Directing everyone to your inner most parts
That you avail like parking spaces for them to stand until it's time for them to go home

Experiencing the good, brings an understanding of the bad
You gave me so much joy, I could sympathize with the sad.

I sat up rigid like a tower and waited for you to come home
Because then finally I could be weak in your arms.

I want you to be careless with your love
And breathe so deep it stings your lungs
Don't treat what we had as a flavor you should savor
Go out and make me angry with your behavior
Dance unrestrained to the songs that I hate
Disappear with the sunset and stay out late
And be unapologetic about the things you do
Because I've been doing all these things since I left you

Under the cloak of the morning
Your breaths are still and restful
Mine are patient as I wait for you to break your sleep
You are peaceful
And I am peacefully in suspense
For a new day to awake and the continuation of love to commence

Can you just leave me to cry
And not ask me to explain myself?
Let my tear travel down my cheek
Don't corrupt her journey
She is carrying more weight than you could ever hold
So let her do her job
And don't try to be our hero

I keep realizing that I'm not living.
And every time I realize that,
I realize that I die a little bit more.
And realizing that kills me

Maybe I should've asked more
Maybe I should think less
Maybe I should forget the smell of Vasace on your silk dress
Maybe I hid my heart but you saw the veins right through my vest
You're the type seek delight in man so weak he'd offered his chest
My weakest cursed, I saw you first, and at that sight my sanity left
I've seen your sin but to feel you skin, I ignored the rest

I've been travelling northward
Shedding all the bruises from my shoulders
Leaving you in the creases in my footprints in the sand
But you have the tip of my heart
Buiried in the lines of your palms
Dripping out the spaces of your hands
So no distance would make me the difference
No wise words would bring me solace
Though I'm no longer the person you knew
So much for mkving on
So much getting over you

Everybody cares when you are blue
As if you would lend a shoulder to them too
You're like a typo in a letter
That mistakingly made the meaning better
You've built this army up around you
They all licks all your bruises when they turn blue
You don't even like anything about you
But somehow you're only one you run to
You're not even the hero of this story
But every other character is boring

She'll be dying with the coals
When the last ember dies
Pushed along but the wind
Fluttering in the night...

And everyone will say
"I thought that she'd survive"

Will there be anything more exciting than knowing you?
An experience you've set aside for a select few
In a selection process they were not privy to
Now the joy of a ray of sunshine peaking through
The slow trickle of morning dew
A whisper of words so dearingly true
The world was just a page
That became a story because of you...

I know you want me to say
Sorry for lying
but I'm just crying on my  pillow
like I'm supposed to do
to get over you

I know its easier to keep you
and just admit that I was wrong
but I can't be the loser
so I just play a sad song
like I'm supposed to do
to get over you

Although everything is my fault
as far as I remember
I won't lead you to resolve
and I'll ruined your December
Just drinking coffee in my car
heart is sore and tender

Winning never feels good on this tongue
I've been bitter since I was young
Now you know the woman you've loved
Now she's just another sad girl
trying to get over you

You have learned with the seasons
Said the past to the present
"The truth is the truth
No matter how you said it
Pain is pain
No matter how thin you spread it"

She said sunlight and water
through Spring and through Autumn
Just keep your love warm and
let it sprout without boarders
without care and without warning
and your garden will keep swarming
like the bees and the hornets
build their nests in the tallest
branches and corners
Just sunlight and water
Is all you need

I wish I could tear your arms off llimb for limb
and tie them to my shoulders
so you can know what its like to be held by them

Sophie, does your mother know you're here?
Has your dad any idea you're out with me tonight?
You have but 17 years to your name
You're smiling at me all the same
Like the rivers and the oceans couldn't keep you away
You're sailing off to neverland in my car tonight
And you'll be gone with the light
Cheering cans of beer, glistening ear to ear
Like the princess that you are

Amidst the mess and troubling things
Is a single strand of hair brought in by the wind
Lands on my woolen shirt to rest on my chest
And the world moves on, one strand less

She is turning
Some parts face the sun and burn raw
While others rest in shade until its their turn to be to peel away
She is slowing turning into the person she was meant to be
And feeling each phase of the process
Through pain
Through stretching
Through breaking
Throw cracking
She is turning
And thats all that matters...

Today I am a drifter
Bouncing on the strings of time
I am not a part of the past or future
I'm just here, enough and drifting
Who knows who I will be when tomorrow begins

I've been lost in the arms of this life
It's two wide pillars that ushers you in
Like a lost child finding her mothers chest
Forsaking all the rest
For that one corner of warmth
Shes discovered in the movements of an ever maturing friend
Life is life until it ends...

In half a moment there's a storm coming in
Because you see yourself as a man in need of travesty
In the same moment you'll pour a cup of tea
For a world that wasn't build on camomile and honesty
You're a little mean
And evergreen
But thats just the role you play in this
In solidarity
I'm stirring a cup of tea
With a drop of honey and confidence...

Tell them
I was being strong
That moment when they looked at me
And didn't recognize my face
I became the person they'd never know again

If the sun screamed at me
I'd remind her that she only rules half my day
The other half is owned by a dark cold entity
That opposes her in every way...

And suddenly the rains a thing of beauty
Because I saw the rainbow shine out of the halo on your head
From the right side of the bed

Wednesdays are cool with a subdued energy
Just me sitting in silent disparity
In between white walls with a claustrophobic  persistence
No one and nothing understands this existence...

In bold
You were never a friend to them
You were bleeding from start to end
And now your body is cold
You weren't even alive to them
You saw the side of men
That they wish to withhold

Put me in the shade in the middle of the day
Because I don't like the way the light hits my face
But in a light breeze when things aren't so hot
And there are clouds overhead in little white spots
Thats when I feel like I'm living the most
Because life is mostly sunny with a hint of the cold

I'm writing words
They're scabbling me
I'm writing for fun
When they talk back its not fun anymore
But they dance when I write songs about you
They create the melody, I create the beat
But all I can do is write words
Even though they paint a picture
And tell a story
Word is a noun not a verb
They know I'm not doing enough for you...

Guilty pleasures
We're soaked into the couch like stains of peach cider
So when you stayed
We could blame it on the alcohol and they'd be none the wiser

I always choke on words like "us"
Its not something that rolls off my tongue
Its simple to most
But leaves me pale as a ghost
But nothing scares me more than words like "love"

I've been restless
In and out of town
Nothing could hold me down
But now that I've got you
To hold me down
I'm sleeping without a sound
Baby you've got me dreaming
I'm up and down the ceiling
Floating like I'm made of helium
This must be love

Whenever you're hurt
I become the aggressor
When you feel angered
I become the reason the world is bad
And when you're happy
I become the sun that escapes through the clouds

I was never a person to you
I was always just a means to get you through...

There is a world between happiness and sadness
And I've traveled across many times
And found that you can't build your house in between the two
All you can do is travel from back and forth.

I'm surrendering to not knowing
And I'm taking each corner like a bird set free
With hope of experiencing how blissful it might be...

let's dream together
let's be fools for just a moment
step out of our bodies and let the action be its own atonement
let's slip in the space in between
being an adult and being a human being
and watch the two from both ends just to feel that sort of feeling
let's be on half of a whole
let's be the inside of a fold
bent at an angle that for once we've created all on our own

I built a house of feathers today
But somehow everyone was shocked when it blew away...