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46 · Feb 2020
Peaceful and Tortured
Malia Feb 2020
Always drowned out by darkness.
I will never let myself be
Happy and at peace.
I am currently
Tortured and in pain.
I am not always
Okay now.
I am finally
Drowned out so no one can get close.
I don’t want to be
The girl who is ignorant.
I am not
Peaceful and serene.
Now read it backwards-you know the drill. DO NOT read it word-by-word like “serene and peaceful not am I ignorant is who girl the.” Read it like “peaceful and serene. I am not the girl who is ignorant.”
46 · Mar 2020
Turn Out
Malia Mar 2020
I’m made out of colors
Colored outside of the lines
But I’m still turning out;
No one knows how this masterpiece
Is going to turn out yet.
46 · Mar 2020
Ideas and Ideals
Malia Mar 2020
Ideas and ideals
Are almost the same
We think what we want
And we want what we say.

We think what we thunk
Is genius and wise
But really it’s just
A whole ton of lies.

We saw what we said
Was all in our head
But we did not take it back
We saw it as fact.
46 · Feb 2020
Mistakes Are Bad?
Malia Feb 2020
I know.
All of my poems
Are just excuses.
You keep on saying that:
“Stop making excuses!”
I know I made a mistake.
I wish I didn’t.
You are the very person
Who taught me mistakes are bad,
Whether it was directly or indirectly.
And I believed you.
I keep on trying to justify my mistakes.
I’m sorry.
I know I made a bad choice.
But I guess I’m in denial
That I made a mistake
‘Cause didn’t you say mistakes are bad?
46 · Jan 2020
Train of Thought
Malia Jan 2020
What I can’t see
Doesn’t scare me!
I want to see
It anyway.
Curiosity
Drives me,
Not fear.
Or maybe it does.
Yes, yes, it does.
46 · Jan 2020
Nostalgia
Malia Jan 2020
I miss
Everything
I can never have.
I miss
Everything
I never had.
Malia Feb 2020
Snow brings a new start.
Each day is novel.
Rain washes off tears.
Weather makes anew.
45 · Jan 2020
Poem a Day
Malia Jan 2020
A poem every day
Keeps the doctor away.
Not really.
I wish.
I would live forever.
45 · Mar 2020
Evening Falls
Malia Mar 2020
Evening falls
And I’m sitting here
In the dim light of the moon
Waiting for my life to move forward
To move on.
What a waste it is:
To just sit and gaze
At passer-bys
Passing me by.
I wish to move somewhere
To something
Be something.
Where
When
And how
Are not my concerns.
45 · Nov 2019
I wish
Malia Nov 2019
I wish I could figure out people
They’re such a big mystery
I don’t know if it’s possible
We can study and learn our history
But we’re so complex, it is not plausible
45 · Jan 2020
Sun Shining
Malia Jan 2020
Remember when the sun shines bright
It is at it’s full potential height.
But when it’s light can reach us here,
It takes thousands of days, months, years.
Looking down at our puny planet,
Fill our seas with your life essence.
Must you take so long?
45 · Feb 2020
Shades of Grey
Malia Feb 2020
I’m always on guard.
Always afraid.
Always on thin ice.
The eggshells-
They crunch beneath my feet.
Can’t say the wrong thing
Did I say the wrong thing?
Right and wrong.
Right and wrong.
Black and white-
Somewhere in between?
45 · Jan 2020
Time doesn’t pass
Malia Jan 2020
Time doesn’t pass,
It rushes.
Or strolls or flows or speeds.
Times like these deserve better words.
44 · Mar 2020
Possess
Malia Mar 2020
Possess
The mess
That I am.

I lied
I don’t want to be tied
To you because I know
When you fly you fall.
44 · Feb 2020
Routine
Malia Feb 2020
Wake up.
Go to school.
Come home.
Do homework.
Do chores.
Read.
Sleep.
Wake.
School.
Home.
Sleep.
So tired
Of all this predictability.
Days
Blend into each other.
Every day is the same.
44 · Mar 2020
Don’t
Malia Mar 2020
Don’t
Try to get in.
The door’s locked
And I won’t open the door.

Don’t
Try to break my walls.
They’re made of titanium
Fireproof titanium.

It’s
So lonely in here.
Why
Did I imprison myself
Here?
44 · Jan 2020
Written
Malia Jan 2020
I am writer
Who wishes to be written
My writes are futile
None of them give to me
What I always wanted:
A story.
But I can’t seem to find
The theme hidden deep
In this encoded book
Of mine.
My plot has so many holes
I don’t even know
If my story
Ever existed.
43 · Jan 2020
Too Many Questions
Malia Jan 2020
Questions are dancing in my skull.
So many
So many more.
Inquiry
Is my best friend
But if curiosity
Killed the cat
I’ll be dead
Soon enough.
43 · Oct 2019
The shift
Malia Oct 2019
Something inside of me shifts
And everything seems ok again.
Is it real or is it an imaginary appeal?
43 · Feb 2020
Untitled
Malia Feb 2020
I don’t understand
Where you stand.
Are you on my side?
I don’t like being lied
To.
43 · Feb 2020
Essay
Malia Feb 2020
I’m supposed to be writing an essay right now.
I’m not, as you can see.
You know, it’s funny how I’ve written 400 something poems already
But I can’t write an essay for the life of me.
42 · Jan 2020
Limerick!
Malia Jan 2020
I haven’t written poems in a week,
That’s enough to make me freak,
But HePo wouldn’t work,
It made me go berserk
I think it may need some tweaks.
HePo is an amazing community, but it sure can be frustrating sometimes!
42 · Jan 2020
Time
Malia Jan 2020
I am your future.
You are my past.
Walking past,
Like I am just another person.
But your eyes flicker toward me.
A half of a second,
Not even.
But that’s all it takes.
We are each other’s time.
You are mine.
I am yours.
Time passes.
Our hands touch as we brush past.
42 · Mar 2020
Set Fire
Malia Mar 2020
Up in flames
Dancing around my burning flesh
You live
To set fire
Right?
You set me
On fire
Now I burn
I burn
Like dry paper
On the surface
Of a star.
42 · Mar 2020
Where Are You?
Malia Mar 2020
Longing
For
Something
I
Will
Never
Have.

So
Obscure
I
Don’t
Even
Know
What
I’m
Looking
For.

Where are you?
42 · Mar 2020
Tell Me
Malia Mar 2020
Tell me when to sit
Stop
Learn
Speak.

No
Don’t tell me what to do
Only I tell myself what to do.

Yet you scream
Within the large depth of my ear canal
“LISTEN TO ME”
“YOU ARE WRONG”

But no.
I am right.
Don’t tell me what to do.
You can shout my eardrums ******,
But your foul filth
Will never make it to my mind.
41 · Jan 2020
Trust (Part 2)
Malia Jan 2020
I want you to trust me.
Do you?
Please, because I trust you.
41 · Feb 2020
Too Opinionated
Malia Feb 2020
Calm down.
Think.
Use your brain.
Take deep breaths.
Don’t get overwhelmed.
Don’t stress yourself out.
It’s easier than you think it is.
I have been told
These things all my life.
Are they right?
I’m not sure.
I don’t always agree
But they might be right.
I think I am too opinionated
To determine whether or not they are right.
Maybe I am inadequate for not
Being able to do these things.
Maybe I am wrong.
Maybe everyone else is right and I am wrong.
41 · Jan 2020
Where
Malia Jan 2020
Where are you
When I need you?
40 · Feb 2020
Mistakes
Malia Feb 2020
Why do I keep messing up?
They say that making the same
Mistake over and over again
While expecting different results is insanity.
Maybe I am insane.
Because I sure as heck are making the same mistakes
Over and over again.
I don’t think
I expect different results though.
I think I have given up
On ever getting a good result.
Sometimes
I am doing well,
And I learn from my mistakes.
But I can never keep it for long
And I make the same mistake again.
I can’t be correct for more than three weeks.
Maybe I am a wrong person,
Because I cannot not make mistakes.
Everyone else
Make mistakes.
I am sure of this.
But their mistakes are small and trivial.
I mess up big things, like relationships.
Because that is messing up others.
This is why I need to be alone.
40 · Feb 2020
Massacre
Malia Feb 2020
Humming
People sounds
Surround.
The sound
Of civilization
Vibrate
Through the whole of society.
A nation
A city
A world
Hearing the hum
Of humanity.
A writing prompt said write about something peaceful with a violent title so...
40 · Mar 2020
Toss
Malia Mar 2020
Toss
My heart aside.
Like trash
You don’t think of me
As trash
Right?
Yet you throw
Everything I’ve given you-
Everything I tried to give-
Away
Into the garbage.
39 · Mar 2020
Restart
Malia Mar 2020
Reassure
Realign
Reality.

Resign
Reduce
Reprieve.

Relieve
Retri­eve
Restart.
39 · Jan 2020
The World is So Weird
Malia Jan 2020
The world is so weird.
These trees keep on waving at me,
And the wind is whistling while it works.
But seriously,
The world is so weird!
Like
Why is the sun beaming at me?
How can a sun beam?
Does it even have a face?
How can a moon have a face?
Gosh, the world is so WEIRD!
37 · Mar 2020
Scarred
Malia Mar 2020
I doubt that I am poetic.
I doubt these words are pretty prose.
Most of my poems,
In fact,
Either sound sad
Or psychotic.
Not beautiful.
Bitter.
Yes,
These words are bitter.
Coal linings,
Of tears.
Not beautiful.
Scarred.
37 · Feb 2020
Write to Tell
Malia Feb 2020
Write to tell
Write to talk
Write to hell
Write to Mars.
Write for love
Or write for hate
Write just because
Write yourself away.
36 · Feb 2020
Skyscraper
Malia Feb 2020
Sky high
Towering above.
No one here
Is as tall as me.
It’s kind of lonely
Up here in the clouds.
No one is tall enough
To stay and chat.

To stay and chat
Towering above.
No one here
Is as tall as me.
It’s kind of lonely
Up here in the clouds.
No one is tall enough
Sky high.
36 · Mar 2020
Remember
Malia Mar 2020
Remember the beauty
Of silence.

Remember when
Monotonous blab
Wasn’t used as a substitute
For art.

Remember when I could trust
The words of others.
36 · Jan 2020
You are heard
Malia Jan 2020
I hear your shouts,
Your screams,
Your cries,
Your yells.

I used to scream
But I stopped.
Because no one ever heard me.
I thought I would never be heard.
So I gave up.

I really hope you don’t give up.
Because I hear you.
You are heard.
35 · Jan 2020
She Bled Ink
Malia Jan 2020
She cut
And cut
And dug
Deep inside her skin.

But all
That ever poured out
Was ink
Flowing night.
30 · Jan 2020
Who?
Malia Jan 2020
Who
Are
You?

I
Don’t
Know.

Why?

I
Don’t
Know.

Where
Did
You
Go?

Somewhere
You’ll
Never
Find.
Malia Jun 6
oh, don’t worry, you’ll find them.
you’ll know them by the stitch
in your side, bent over shaking with
laughter,
the day you miss the bin and
the carton sails straight
into some poor, unsuspecting soul.
you’ll know them by their side-eye,
that single-second, inside joke—
hair-braiding, thumb wars,
secrets whispered in the dark.
and one day, a boy will break
your heart but they will roast that boy
like a marshmallow over a fire.
you’ll know them by the
unbreakability
of a pinky promise,
by the knee-****, camera-flash joy.
you’ll know on the nights so late
that even taco bell is closed,
by the three-hundred bad pictures
of you on their phones.
it’s sticky leather seats in the summer,
all mess and love and side-by-side.
and when four years are past,
caps tipped, turned, and tossed
and you’re standing in a football field with
a runny nose and wet-streaked cheeks,
you’ll know them by the way it
aches
to wave goodbye, to go home because
you’re not 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 home at all—
you just left it.
Officially graduated 💪🏽
Malia 1d
her voice shivered on the precipice.
everything sounded like begging.
i felt it rise like bile but i
swallowed it whole and became a
good little soldier in the line of
fire. left-right-left-left
left-right-left right out that door
and pulled in all directions, feeling the
beginnings
of unraveling.

it feels like sinking.

it feels like the way wet paper
disintegrates
under the weight of
your touch, rends itself more
with each attempt to hold it
together. no, no glue
can fix this, nothing
can fix this now.

but i am a good soldier.

left-right-left-left
left-right-left-left
left-right-le­ft-left
left-right—
screeching, screeching,
jagged and ******
across the chalkboard.

suddenly sprinting, screaming—the kind
that rips out of the hole forming
inside you, landslides and avalanches, the
shriek of stone to rock to dirt.

roadside, arms flailing, trying
so hard to be seen.

𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘺—

suddenly, the sound of sirens.
I gotta know if y’all get the allusion in the title
0 · Jun 28
tender; titanium
Malia Jun 28
Eleven-years-old should be bold and boyful
Joyful, jelly beans and snow on Christmas
Robert Frost’s birches, swinging on branches
Latching to hopes that have yet to become.

Seventeen should be dreaming, dress-up as grown-up
Growing and grinning and racing the time—
Sprint to the finish, and then look behind
Hours to minutes and seconds to breaths.

But his face had roundness that gave way to edges,
Glittering, forged from the weight of the press
How much can you take away from the boy?
You take and you take until there’s nothing left.

He howled at night, at the stars and the sky
He’d have pulled down the moon, if only he could
And he should, he ought to have clawed down the heavens
For the hole gaping wide, for a god who deserts.

And still, though he trembled, sweat slicking his skin
When he saw you watching, he gave you a grin.
It was tender, titanium, tenacious and thin
And tremulous, breaking apart in the wind.

His fingers pressed into the dirt and the dice
Then he gazed at you, O Fate, like a vise
His heart made of gold but his eyes made of ice
And he told you, O Fate:
“𝑵𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏.”
0 · Jul 9
he, the shore
Malia Jul 9
He kisses her like the breath you take
After sinking underwater.

She kisses him like a forest fire—
The way the flame caresses wood and grass
Consumed in a little sunrise.

The wave crashes into the shore.

It smells like salt, blue and briny,
It feels like sand on your skin.

The gulls cry overhead, but they
Cannot compete with the
𝘴𝘩𝘩, 𝘒𝘚𝘏𝘏𝘏, 𝘴𝘩𝘩, 𝘒𝘚𝘏𝘏𝘏, 𝘴𝘩𝘩.

— The End —