I crave approval from everyone
Yet I promote individuals,
I want to know I am wanted
But do not want to know I am “cool”.

Meet Expectations.
She is bubbly and happy
Sensitive and sappy
And she lives all in her own world.

Problems are like flies to her:
Pesky annoyances
She’d rather ignore.

Expectations is fun to hang around sometimes
Until her ideals start to
Weigh you down sometimes.

Problems cannot be cured
If the blind is those who assure.

If ignorance prevails
Humanity will undoubtedly fail.

But who will save us now
When nobody on Earth knows how?

How will we save humanity
When nobody can see?

Who will teach the youth how to live
When you don’t even know how to thrive?

Pharaoh told us to leave.
As we hurried gathering
What little possessions we had,
Unleavened bread baking in the oven
The smell of bread floating under our noses.

Pharaoh changed his mind
Sent his armies after us,
I can’t believe
We ever thought we were free.

I beg of Moses
DO SOMETHING
But he can’t
All we can do is wait for a miracle.

As the armies marched toward us
I could feel the vibrations of their feet
Then suddenly
Moses parted the seas!

Oh the joy that rushed through me!
We were saved-
Saved by God!
I thanked the Lord for his grace,
For we are saved!

All these stories in my head
I’d rather write instead
Of changing my real life for the better.

Take a selfie every day,
Try to hide emotions away,
Tell everyone about your “perfect life”
That’s actually full of pain and strife.

If you were just a soul
How would you manifest?
For all those familiar with Greek mythology
You may know what Chaos is.
Chaos is what-in Greek mythology-
The universe was
Before it was created.
I picture this blackness
But blackness full of purple
And blue
And red dust.
All of this is just swirling in this black hole
Of nonexistence.
Order?
None of it.
Safety?
Lol you’re funny.
Well,
Anyways,
I think my naked soul
Would manifest as Chaos.
I am Chaos.
Order?
Never heard of it.
Safety?
I’m more like “WARNING: MAY EXPLODE AT ANY TIME!!!”
Chaos
That’s what I am.
What are you?

You give me pain you drive me insane but that’s ok because today I produced something magic from all of the pent up sadness you begot

There is right
And there is wrong.
Simple.
That is, until you meet humanity.
Right things seem wrong,
And wrong things seem right.
No one knows
What is right and wrong anymore.
Where’s the manual?
I think the world is broken.

Why do people hate
No good things will it create
All it will ever do
Is make people hate you too.

I am a sentient being
My eyes are blurry from not seeing
That getting used’s a regular thing
For a bunch of girls like me.

You clap your hand against my mouth
Think you can stop me from shouting out.
You keep putting people in a cage
You won’t let us get up and rage
But I’m enraged, and I’m not sage
But I’m not clueless and you are ruthless.

You’ve got no heart to give
Cold as stone; how do you live
With all the happiness you have deprived.
I’m not clueless but you are
Willing ignorance leaves us scars
But you won’t see them ‘cause you don’t want to
You love your lies and despise the truth.

I think why life never gives us a break,
Or when he does, it’s short
Because when we get life completely easy
We turn conceited and lazy.

I am not saying I want life to be hard.
In fact, I wish quite the opposite.
I am just unsure of the thing I’d become
If I forgot how to work for happiness.

I used to not be scared of heights
That was before I fell
Now all I want to do
Is stay safely on the ground.

I can’t believe how boring I’ve gotten.

I’m a glass girl
And you can see right through
I’m transparent to you
Please don’t take advantage of it.

You can see my soul
Do you think it’s as beautiful
As yours is?
I wish I had your soul.

I was clear
But life made me stained.
But if you ask anyone who has ever seen stained glass,
They’d tell you it was the most
Magnificent thing
That they’d ever seen.

It’s okay to be stained
Color makes us
Alive.
Plexiglas
Is still and lifeless
Stained glass
Tells a story.

Be a storyteller.
Be stained.
Be beautiful.

Why do people scream
Yelling won’t fix anything.
What do they think volume’s gonna do?
It won’t help them gain any power over you.

I can’t feel my pulse
I’m afraid I don’t want to
Do I want to?
I don’t know.

Being real is scary
Because I am scary
And it’s scary to scare someone else
With just real me
Because truth strikes fear
Into the ignorant
And I am still ignorant
Of many things.

How monumental it will be
When humanity realizes
That what is now
Won’t forever be.

I was having a bad day,
Then I saw you come along.
You gave me a flower to remember you by.
I did.

I never forgot that flower.
A crimson rose at bloom.
That flower was a trap, although,
For my certain doom.

You left me with a flower,
It’s petals as dark as blood.
They became my heart,
Dark and shriveled as time went on.

You keep on telling me to be honest.
I am honest.
But you don’t like my truth.
So you deny it.
You deny me.
You deny with all of your “honesty”.

If creativity was a pond,
It would have grown stagnant by now.
The slippery moss of logic
Would have plagued the cattail of imagination
And the pond would grow murky and muddy.

Thankfully,
Creativity is like a river
Always full of life.
Things come and go,
Things are created there.
Moving water.
Never growing stagnant.

Everything is my fault.
I know this.
I know it’s my fault I get overwhelmed
And make a bunch of mistakes.
It is my fault, right?
If I asked for help more,
Maybe I wouldn’t be overwhelmed,
So I could think more clearly.
It’s my fault that I didn’t ask for help.
It’s my fault that my Mom got mad
Because I tried to walk away.
I just really needed to walk away
Because reality is too hard.
So now I’ve accidentally disrespected my Mom
And it is my fault.
I won’t blame anyone else.
I think I secretly want to though.
I don’t want it to be my fault
But it is anyway.
My mistakes are my fault.
They say mistakes are human.
I am very human.
Or maybe
I make so many mistakes
That I am no longer human
Because surely
The average human is not
Such a disappointment as me.

You’re not any better than me
Just like the land’s not worse than the sea
We have different strengths
But that does not make
You any worse or better than me.

There are so many things to do
Places to be
Things to say
People to meet.

So don’t purposefully die any time soon. Thank you.

I’d be hot as a guy.

I’m a mess.
I’m not graceful
I lack finesse.
I look at everyone around me
And they seem to have it so easy.

I’ve been told that I make things harder
Than they actually need to be,
But it seems the harder I work the farther
My needs and dreams seem to flee.

I look around, convinced I’m insane
Until I met you
Just as insane as my messed up brain
And when you speak
Butterflies flit out
And I can tell you’re just like me
Not graceful
Lacking finesse
Clumsy in talk and everything else.

What a relief
To know I am not alone.
Sometimes
I just feel so alone.
But I’m not alone
Just lonely perhaps,
But then I met you
Who reminded me
I wasn’t an alien
I wasn’t alone
And I needn’t not be lonely
Much longer.

I just ate an entire container of
Cherry tomatoes
What the heck?!
Who does that?!

You are
Encrypted code.
You are
A locked door
Without a lock.
You are
A fossil under
Layers of stone.

I am too.

I just wish I wasn’t.

Do you wish that too?

I like making up stories.
They let me be someone else for a while.
I don’t write them down.
They are too day-to-day.
There isn’t a conflict.
I don’t want conflict.
I just want to be peaceful for a while.

Have you ever met
Someone who took your breath away
Before they even spoke.
Someone who you KNEW
Was an amazing person.
You just knew it.
You could see the sparkle
In their eyes,
So gentle and kind...

Oh, how I wish
To meet someone like this!

Hello?
Is anyone here?
I’m missing
Someone.
You know
Who you are.
Is this room empty?
I am too.
Like this room.

The snow is a white blanket.
Life is a torrential sea.
Living is piloting an airplane during a blizzard.
Still water is a mirror.
The girl was a lioness
Regal and sleek.
Metaphor is the Voyager Golden Record
Of humanity.

I was drowning
I was drowning because you
Pushed me past the edge
Off the cliff of sanity.

I struggled through the riptide
The waves grabbed me by both arms
Thrashed and almost smashed
Into the rocky shelf.

I tried to swim and I sank
I sank to the ocean floor
I sank until I let go
And finally floated to the the surface.

Turn that frown
Upside-down
Fake it ‘til you make it
You say.

Change your attitude
Wipe your tears
And turn around
Your day.

I am not saying
That you are wrong
(Although you kind of are)
But I’m just saying
All these things
Are easier said than done.

I can’t just wish
And it will happen.

No,
Life likes to spice things up.
Unfortunately.

Something about you
Just lays me to waste.
Something about you
Makes me bolt, run with haste.

Something about you
No matter how small
Always makes me tumble
Tumble and fall.

I remember you,
We talked for a while,
You said that I make you nervous,
Did I ever tell you
That you made me nervous too?

I remember you,
You were new to the school,
I was trying to be kind.
Do you remember me?

As jumpy as a cat
Who runs away
At the sight
Of a single cloud
For the fear of rain.

What’s your favorite color?
I want to know everything
That I don’t know about you.
Where did you get your middle name?
Where were you born?
I don’t mean to intrude,
It’s just I want to learn
About you.
I want to learn
You.

The small details of things
Are often ignored
They remind me of me
Not exactly abhorred.

They may not be hated
But nobody notices them
They are often equated
To a single cent.

No one pays attention to pennies
Or any types of coins
Because no one cares to see
They’d rather avoid.

I am always afraid.
I would be lying if I said
I am brave and courageous.
I believe that
Fear dictates my life.
I cannot accept the fact that
I don’t need to be scared.
Every day I feel like
I am doing everything wrong.
You will never hear me say
I am awesome.
I have always thought
I am a failure.
It is absolute lie:
I have a reserved spot in heaven.

Smiles are my glory,
Smiles are my friend.
But only when they’re real,
Real real real smiles.
But not when they hurt,
Forced to grin wide.
Happiness should not be forced.
It can’t be forced.

Smile.
Smile real.
Please.

I’ve been told
“No one expects you to be perfect.”
A lot.
So many times, in fact,
That it has lost it’s meaning.

Because, the thing is:
No one expects me to be perfect
But can you look me in the eye
And tell me
No one expects me
To at least be “okay”?

Love doesn’t exist.
I will never let myself believe that
Time truly heals.
I repeat my mantra:
True love is a ****** myth.
It is a falsehood that
Compassion is all you need.
The truth is
Hate is what rules the world.
I will never say
That hope emerges in our trials.
I am convinced
Life is a plane on downward trajectory.
Or
All light that once existed is snuffed out,
It is an absolute deceit that
I can chase my dreams, so they become reality.

I’m sorry.
I know you were just trying to help.
I don’t know why,
But I almost felt attacked.
I know I made a mistake
But I wasn’t thinking.
I keep on making mistakes.
Too many.
I make more mistakes than most,
I think.
It’s almost as if I never learn.
Or maybe I learn,
And forget.
But I am sorry
I was just trying to run away
Because I needed to give myself space
Away from reality.

I wish I could believe the things I told you.

Would you rather
Innocence
Or truth?

Most of my poems
Are purely rhetorical.
My questions too.
I still want answers,
But I am absolutely sure
No one can answer me.

Normal people have toothbrushes
I have words
To clean off all my gunk.

One I start I cannot stop
So much to be said
All stuffed in my head
Thoughts creep shyly out
They soon get comfortable and run about
There’s not enough room on this page
To fit the thoughts that live in my brain-cage
So I won’t try.