Trying to put labels on things
Is extremely exhausting.
Everything is just too many things
To characterize.
But that’s okay
I’m gonna try and put labels
On myself anyway.

I feel like
I could be characterized as a waterfall.
For example,
When I write one poem on HePo
It takes me about 15 minutes to finally
Shut up.

We pity the disabled
Thinking we are so much better
All the while we labor
Trying not to see the horror
Of our own trying to grow
Trying to avoid the slaughter
Getting knocked down by all those
People pretending they are stronger.

We grow up blind thinking
The world is full of happy strangers
Where problems don’t exist
And we are saved from all the danger.
What we don’t know is that
Sometimes people **** for glory.
We didn’t know we’d combat
Our own villains in our story.

I feel sad
I think
I shouldn’t feel sad
I list my blessings
I think of all the kids
Out there who don’t
Have a good family
Or a house
Or nice clothes.

I cry.
The guilt makes me cry more.

Help.
I cannot seem to be able to voice my opinion to adults without coming off as rude.
For example:
Person 1: you should do (insert something here) first because you’re reading all day, and by the time you have to do (something mentioned before here), your brain is exhausted!
Me: But I don’t read all day. I only read at lunch today.
Person 1: are you gonna be a smart-aleck with me now?? I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
Me: Sorry. Never mind.

But seriously.
How do I point out a fact that may prove the person wrong without sounding rude?
Especially when they’re older than me.
I’m only thirteen, and I suppose it seems disrespectful for a 13 year old to do so, but I don’t think I sound rude.
Is there anything I can do about that?

If I could remember
Anything,
I would remember flying
Using golden wings,
My memories
Aren’t worth the while,
I spend my days
Imagining imaginary smiles.

The light’s dancing in your eyes...
Hold up.
I’m just kidding.
Fire’s burning
Flickering at me
Angrily
In your eyes.
You’re a ticking time bomb
I don’t know how to defuse.
But I’m a moth,
And as moths do,
I don’t look away, I run to you.

The futures brighter than the past,
The past is black and white.
The future’s technicolor
And the past is dull.
But this isn’t a TV screen,
We can’t just pause the movie at the scary parts.

Knee-deep in the snow
Don’t know where to go
My fingers feel numb
To the cold I succumb

I can’t even look you in the eye
It hurts too bad
I tear away
My eyes tearing up
Unless of course, I wear sunglasses.

Where am I?
Where did I go?

Why can’t I find me?

You think you’re gonna save me
But all you do is harm.
Sugar-coated words
Mean nothing to me.
Because sugar-coated words
Are coated in venom, not sugar.
You say you don’t want to,
But I’m not sure.
If you didn’t want to hurt me,
You wouldn’t.
You’re starting to become a Predator,
Your composure is fading away.
Your armor of lies is breaking,
And my defenses are disintegrating.

The clock is ticking
The clock is ticked at me
For killing time
Then running out.

I’ll meet you in the meadow
Where the sun never sets
And everyone can forgive the mess
We made where
No one judges
Meet me there
I wanna see you there
I want you to come with me
Where we can finally
Be happy.

Together.

Rise
I ask
I plead
You to rise.
Please
Don’t stay
There on the ground.
You
Deserve happiness
But you won’t
Accept it.
Rise
Love
Give.

f l o a t

Does the Winter wash away
The pains I carry every day?
Does the snow cure and purify
Each scar I try to hide?
Does the rain bathe me in hope
That I will no longer be tied by the rope
Of anger and frustration holding me down
Following me everywhere I go, all around?

Sadness
Is often seen
In blue colors.
Tears
Are blue
They are made of water
And salt
They taste like the sea.
The sea
Comes in waves
And so does
Pain.

Isn’t exercise supposed to make you feel better about yourself?
I must be doing something wrong, then.

Vengeance
Is venom.
It is in
Both the giver’s
And the receiver’s
Cups.
Revenge
Will only poison you.
Revenge
Is not sweet.
It is as bitter
As the pain
You must avenge for.

You are not lost
Until you believe all is lost.

If I never ever met you
I’d still miss what I never had.
It’s like longing for the heavens
And the rest of outer space.

I’ll probably never meet you,
I don’t even know who you are.
But I know I want someone just like you,
Someone bright, like a star.

Or maybe I don’t care how bright you are,
I just want someone who respects
My wishes, my fears, my unrequited beliefs.
Someone who loves my smiles, and tears.

I scream
But silence
Shushes me.

My world crashes down
As yours still stays the same.

I’ve got so much to learn,
I have so much I yearn
For
But I can’t have everything
I’m better off with nothing
Than everything.

If
You are dear to the heart of a poet
Get ready for intense affection
But he/she may or may not show it.

If
You are hated by the heart of a poet
Get ready for intense anger
For he/she will definitely show it.

For us poets
Feel things so much
Such as anger
Or a lovers touch.

I thought you were a poem
And then you were a song
Or maybe even a dance
So graceful and strong.

I thought you were a poem
But you seemed like a dream
I thought you were a poem
But you’re really many things.

I’m lost in the woods
No one can save me now
I’m running from the good
I’ve been shown because I know
I don’t deserve what I’ve been given.

My road is decorated with thorns
Roses die at my feet
I’m a demon-I’ve got horns
I welcome you to be in the front seat
Of the tragedy called “My Life”.

But then again, it isn’t too bad
As much as it seems to be
There’s so much life left to be had
And I can grow from this like a tree.

Yes, I might be lost in the woods
But I know you’re looking for me
I can find good if I know where to look
And I’m not as lost as I think.

If you are lost
You will be found.

I worry people will begin to see me one day.
Yet at the same time, I want people to see me.
I want them to acknowledge my existence.
But I fear they will know why I exist.
How I exist.
I fear I will be condemned to a hell of confusion.
But I am not confused.
They will be when they see me.
They don’t understand me.

Nothing good happens to those who aren’t understood.

I am a cliff.
And I’m a person falling off the cliff.
And I’m the person PUSHING myself off the cliff.
Wow, how masochistic.
I don’t enjoy pain.
And yet
Every time I see a cliff
I jump.

I collapse
Relapse
Back to
What I was before.

It hurts to the core
Don’t think I can take anymore
My heart is sore
Because of what, I’m not sure.

But something is missing
Me and sadness are reminiscing
But without pleasure
Stumbled upon it
Like a bitter angry treasure.

Maybe what’s missing is me.

So I had a WellCheck today
I had a paper I had to fill out
One of the questions was
“How do you feel most of the time?”
The choices were:
Sad, angry, happy, and worried
I circled happy
The real answer was worried

Running
Don’t look back
You can’t look back.
Rain
Runs down your cheeks
In rivulets
They mix
With your tears
Because you’re running away again.
You’re always running.
You hear the voices behind you.
You ignore them.
You can’t go back.
You can never go back.

Riding the wave
Is all fun and games
Until the wave knocks you down
And under the water you drown.

Right now a baby is born.
Right now someone is dying.
Right now someone is wishing they were dead.
Right now someone is laughing.
Right now somebody’s crying.
Right now someone is in love.
Right now someone is falling out of love.
Right now someone is raising a kid.
Right now someone is drinking away their feelings.
Right now someone is scared.
Right now someone is screaming.
Right now someone just died.
Right now someone just created life.
Right now you are living.
Live
Love
Cry.
Right now you are alive.

Every single word I say
Hurts a person’s feelings
Every single breath I take
Is controlled by inner demons.

Every single friend I have
Has never seen behind my mask
And my poor family
Has to deal with the real me.

It’s a shame I cannot be
An actual human being
For I am a horrid monster instead
With bad luck trailing where she treads.

I’m not a kid
Not an adult
I’m something else, something more
Not an adult
Not that mature
But some of my innocence left

The world revolves around the sun.
Not me, or you, or anyone.
You’ve got me wrapped around your thumb.
You seem queenly to the human eye
But it beats me how you seem to defy
All rules, all laws, no matter how they try
To rope you down, you get away every time.
You run and run, up and down the *****,
Why do you run? What do you hope?
Are you running away from a confidant?
Is there something better that you want?
The world revolves around the sun,
But our worlds are anchored by loved ones.

Everything small
Seems big
When you
Are shrunk down
Until everything
Is gargantuan and hulking.

The snow lands on your long eyelashes
Strike a few matches
The blinding white
Mingles with the white light
Not quite
In this world.

By the fire we chat quietly
For me a mug of hot cocoa
And for you some warm tea
This is the best thing that has ever happened to me
Not just chatting, but you
And the warmth of the fire
Mix wonderfully.

This Winter Rhapsody
Is a fantastic fantasy
Snap back to reality
I’m all by myself.

I crave approval from everyone
Yet I promote individuals,
I want to know I am wanted
But do not want to know I am “cool”.

There is right
And there is wrong.
Simple.
That is, until you meet humanity.
Right things seem wrong,
And wrong things seem right.
No one knows
What is right and wrong anymore.
Where’s the manual?
I think the world is broken.

I was having a good day
Then you reminded me
Of how imperfect I am
It’s like a roller coaster
You anticipate the fun
The higher you go
Feeling good
And then it stops
And you look down
And you’re scared
Because it’s a long fall
And your teetering on the edge
And when you plummet
Towards the ground
And your scream
Escapes your lips
Everyone thinks your having fun
But you’re really scared to death.
You feel good
Until you’re reminded
That you’re fifty feet in the air
And the cement is hard
And unforgiving.

We are all soldiers
Fighting famine and sadness.
We’re fighting ourselves too, I think.
What a painstaking task
That we assign ourselves.

This dog is warm
Pleasedon’tmovePleasedon’tmovePleasedon’tmove
Gosh dang it he woke up!

Perfectionism is begot from high expectations.

I am a building
A weak building
With terrible structure.
I cannot handle pressure
I will collapse.

Well, I just took an online-test
That told me I was mildly depressed
It also said I’m moderately
Passive-aggressive too.

A couple good things
It said to me,
I’m not a psychopath!
I have high self esteem
And I’m not a narcissist!

No one who knows me
Would ever think
I’m mildly depressed.

Except for you guys
As you have seen
Beneath this phony zest.

Please don’t be offended
I know there are parents here
But I just don’t understand you
I don’t understand your fear.

Why do parents want you to focus
And then talk to you too
Like I’m supposed to focus
On my homework AND you.

I just want to know
If you guys think punishment will fix
My severe anxiety
And my poor time-management.

I just want to know
Why you guys just tell kids they’re wrong
Without giving us specifics
Well I guess you do
And I’m just unfixable.

I find myself longing
For what I once had
Forgetting
What I could be
Would be better.

If I could wish upon a star
I would go back in time
And take back
All of the things
That mar
What was once a pure white surface
Of a soul.

Problems cannot be cured
If the blind is those who assure.

If ignorance prevails
Humanity will undoubtedly fail.

But who will save us now
When nobody on Earth knows how?

How will we save humanity
When nobody can see?

Who will teach the youth how to live
When you don’t even know how to thrive?