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Grey Jul 2022
She doesn’t know,
I have to hurt myself everytime I feel happy.
She doesn’t know that the girl before I’ve protected.
I told the other girl it was okay everytime she hurt me.
I have to protect her from the dark reality of you can’t even be really happy.
Even if you are…
You’re just never enough.
For anyone.
Even the girl who smiles so gently, who bought a plane ticket when your job called saying you hurt your back and you’re on your way to hospital.
You can’t and you’re willing to let her go because you are nothing compared to what she deserves.
You’re nothing.
No one.
What matters is you make enough money and you are able to take care of everyone it doesn’t matter how hard or how long you work
No one knows
no one cares.
You can’t do anything without your back.
So don’t get anyones hopes up.
So you break their hearts,
Because you can’t tell them you love them so much that you have to.
Grey Jul 2022
Binge watching Stranger Things,
Her favorite show.
Come to find out 80s show that I stayed away from for god knows why.
Something about her,
Breath of fresh air.
Before I clock into work she tells me to be safe & she’ll be up at 3 am when I get off from work.
Just like clock work she’s up and sends a video of her with the biggest smile because I sent her videos and pictures of what I’m working on that night.
I get home and right away snacks and stranger things.
Sometimes we cook dinner well early breakfast.
I find a record for us to listen to, it’s just us for those early morning hours.
Sleep has never felt so amazing before in my life.
I’ve loved you forever
And forever will I always love you
Grey Jul 2022
We cling to what we know.
The anger,
Fear,
Pain,
Anger,
Hatred,
Everything we’re taught yet….
Silence,
Peace regardless of the agony.
Love within the anger.
Calm within the chaos:
The dragon who within the fire & flame,
She was and will be, the dragon.
Grey Jul 2022
After everything I’ve been through,
Coming to the conclusion that I will never trust or love anyone again.
There she is,
And without hesitation I fell
Grey Jul 2022
It was the first hug,
We always talked about how nervous and shy we’d be.
Yet that first hug,
The second we saw each other you ran,
I scooped you up in my arms and that was the best and warmest embrace.
You asked when did I know it was always supposed to be you I said my heart was yours that moment.
Day by day since then it’s grown more and more.
My love for you has deepened,
Forever will I love you.
Grey Jul 2022
They say a man is the most dangerous man when he’s lost all he’s ever loved.
This is true,
What I’ve come to learn is that a man is more protective of what he’s found after he’s lost it all and somehow or someway,
He was blessed to find a woman who loves him flaws and all.
Who he’ll build a house for, and yet she makes it a home.
Who blesses him the most beautiful gift of all,
Family.
With little hands and little feet that will grow to hands that will endure.
With laughter and smiles that he can’t help but smile when those pop in his head when he’s at lowest.
The reason he always kept on going and found a way to make it through any and all hardships he faced alone.
Now he must face a new season of living,
Be a better man each day.
Be a better father each day.
And never give up.
If he ever falters, she’s there and never gives up on him.
This is the love and the hope he held onto through many broken nights,
Many times he prayed for the right moment, the right woman, the right time.
Nevertheless, every single time he can’t help but feel pride and joy.
This is it,
She’s the one.
Always has been and Always will be.
Grey Jul 2022
She stays awake to make sure I get home safely.
We tease each other and have been talking almost nonstop every day.
Her smile is warm and she isn’t scared to be a little goofy.
Honestly I’m glad I didn’t just jump into a relationship,
Because I can’t imagine ever hurting her.
I use to be a really immature guy but with her I can’t imagine ever being like that.
She inspires me,
To be better to grow.
To be the better man than I know I can be,
And to give her the world.
She deserves it,
And I’ll find the way to make it happen
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