Two completely different individuals who are destined to destroy in one way or another.
A dangerous union,
Many have warned about the coming calamity.
One will have praises & the love of many.
The other will have been broken & battered.
One has the heart of a lion yet piously flawed.
The other who’s lived a life as all lone wolves do, hanging on.
A reminder of characters from the tale of Fire & Ice.
One lives their life as if nothing happened,
After they’ve betrayed, lied, laughed & poetically killed the other.
Broke their spirit & destroyed what soul they had left.
In the end the pious lion always goes on & tells the tale of how they were always innocent.
Stalking their next prey,
Yet somehow their forked silver tongue always let’s them get away.
A long list of now broken naive people,
A pile of broken hearts & shattered dreams.
All for one’s ego.
Little did they know that maybe just one would be their greatest mistake.
That one person becomes the monster of their own design,
Now truly there is one who became more than just prey.

It hurt seeing your face…
Hearing your laugh…
Knowing that I know I hurt you many times, choosing someone else who doesn’t even know what it means to truly care for someone.
The distance I’ve put between us is because I know I keep hurting you.
You try,
To explain how it’d better to be in each other’s lives.
Yet I can’t.
I’ve done too much hurt to you and it usually doesn’t work.
Maybe one day I don’t know.
I do know that I love you,
I always have.
Yet the universe always has the best timing.
You’ll always be the bestest friend, the girl I fell in love with.
The girl that no one can compare to.
And also the one I don’t deserve.
I hope you find the man who will not just take care of you but will see you as I always have,
Not a broken girl with a torn up past but someone who’s heart is on her sleeve and so much more.
Our families don’t even understand why I can’t be with you, all I can do is hope one day they do

I will make them all regret the day they turned their backs on me.
I will rise above more than they could ever accomplish.
I do not believe that the gods have protected me from death numerous times just so I live a small pathetic life like they all wanted me to.
In one way or another they’ve all tried to make me into their own perceptions.
They all have their ideas of me, yet they all made the mistake that they know me.
Or know what they’ve created,
How much I’ve let happen because I believe that people can care about you.
It’s a disgusting lie they tell themselves.
The truth is I was the fool for telling them parts of me that they ultimately used for their own gain.
I’ve been belittled, degraded, betrayed.
I am the fool,
Because I believe their disgusting lie.
Now they will regret it.
They will wish they were better than the **** they are.
And this time when they cry for their losses and their pain deep down I hope they know,
I was always the one who tried to protect them.
No more.
By all the gods I pray for vengeance, revenge.

She asked me why I don’t want to be in a relationship,
I replied that it wasn’t her fault.
I’ve been told for two straight years how terrible of a person I am,
How nothing I do will ever matter.
I’ve been told that I am not smart, I don’t know what I’m doing.
And a lot more, the problem is I believed her.
I believed her because I loved her.
And that did more damage.
I don’t trust myself or anyone.
How can I?
Her only reply is so simple and so sweet,
“When you’re ready I’m here, until then I hope I can show you that she was wrong. Because I see so much more. I love you even when you don’t love yourself I love you.”
And everyday since she’s told me that she’s definitely kept that promise.
It’s hard, most days I don’t talk to anyone yet she still checks on me.
That’s something that I never got before,
All I can say I don’t deserve her but everyday I hope to be the best I can for her and for me.

“Hey you’ve been distant today, btw I swung by your aunts and your sisters today said hey, they said they miss you. Also yes I posted a pic to Snapchat for the first time in awhile cuz didn’t want you to forget my goofy *** face. I’ll bug ya later. I love you”
It’s the little things that make the difference,
She understands that I’m working on getting my GED and hopefully a good job before I join the military.
Idk she’s different, no rush and no worries.
Just understanding and patience,
It’s something new

And there it is,
The dream again.
We meet at a public place,
You’re hiding your face and giggling.
And that smile, oh that beautiful dangerous smile.
We have our laughs and goof off.
When we decide to leave to go somewhere else,
As I turn around from walking backwards saying something to you,
Thats when the unknown person plunges the knife deep in my chest.
At first I don’t feel the pain,
Just the pressure.
Everyone around us screams and I stand there,
You are mortified.
Whoever this unknown person is,
Pulls the knife out with such rage then the gun comes out.
Gut shot.
That’s when the pain hits.
Then I wake up.

It’s amazing how something so simple can be taken out of context so easily.
Now I paint with crimson red, tracing the delicate edge of my skin.
I don’t want to die, I don’t want everything to end.
Yet this is so freeing, the intoxication of it.
I’ve been awake for three days,
I close my eyes to rest and I’m flooded with thoughts.
The ideas of what I can do with my life,
The pressures I put on myself to get there.
Knowing I worry a few good people in my life,
The anticipation of the lectures that are repetitive,
Of how apparently people know what I need to hear or what I need to do.
If they were right I would be better now wouldn’t I?
And everyone thinks it’s so easy when in reality if they even knew how much it takes to even do simple tasks.
How the judgment feels when I do the things I love,
It’s hypocritical.
Almost poetic how one moment they need me to have all the answers and the next they’re pious.
I see the world for what it is,
Maybe because I’ve been closer to death I consider him an old friend.
It’s true the floors are painted red with dark red,
Frankly I am exhausted and have no more energy for well anyone.
Now I just want to work as much as I can so I can disappear.
I’ve given people chances, some too many.
Now I truly am addicted to being alone,
The safety of it, the comfort of knowing there are no eyes peering into my soul so they can rip it out.
My uncle had the right idea, he warned me long before of how people were.
I often wondered why he preferred to live a nomadic life,
I understand now.
It’s peaceful.