At the end of the day, after long hours of daily life.
We find ourselves in our separate lives.
The bitter truth of how your love for me was but a lie, and yet I can’t help but wonder if you’d finally led someone else into your trap.
The need to not be alone, the constant want for pity.
I find myself feeling sorry for the poor soul who has wrapped themselves in the web of lies you pulled many times before.
One day I hope they live to see the truth,
Or maybe not.
Either way the sad reality is that one who compels others to stay in their lives only by twisting the truth so they can be the victim.
It’s pathetic and small.
Yet I find myself once again hoping for the best,hoping you find the help you need.
And that one day the lies stop.
Because until then the pain will never go away.
Around and around we go.
We’re all pawns in Her game.
The dead, the broken, the blind.

Mornings start with the tracing on my fingers writing out I love you,
Soft kisses on your nose and forehead as you gently wake.
You snuggle closer to me as I wrap my arms around you,
Luckily we can sleep in.
My baby softly grumbling because you yearn to be closer.
It’s these moments I hold dear.
Nudging your nose against my neck and smiling as you fall back asleep.
Safe and warm in my arms.
Or when we play apex,
The competitiveness between us unless the random tries to be an ***,
Then all I can hope for is that they can handle your wrath.
How you’ve taken the time to learn the game so we could spend time together,
Long distance never was a bother between us.
We found our way, knowing we have our lives and life goes on.
So we travel back and forth,
Until now.
We’ve repaired the broken house my ex had a hand in destroying,
My parents love the extra help.
And they love you.
We can live our lives finally without fear or worry.
Without having to give up or run.
Without all the heartache and betrayal that we’ve only known through our former lovers.
Finally free.
Able to breathe again.
Able to love again.

I’m exhausted.
The bitter truth is everything I had ever worked for,
Struggled for,
A great job and amazing work experience,
3 vehicles, one I got for my parents 2 I bought for me.
My parents house paid off, an apartment for me and my best friend.
A bond with my family, amazing people in my life.
All home in some way shape or form because of my one decision to love someone who never understood the value of it all.
The hard work it took.
And now even though at times I hate myself for my decision.
I know I can come back stronger.
Even now I have been given the opportunity to reconnect with my family.
And I love them with all my heart and soul.
The decision I made to love someone who was comfortable with telling me to leave my family behind haunts me,
Yet I know I am loved.
And now there is no way to go but up.
With my best friend who’s the most amazing beautiful strong woman by my side,
My two dogs who are the best dogs I swear.
My family who I now know will never turn their backs on me.
Together anything is possible.

‘Have a little faith in me’ plays softly in the background as we dance under our night sky.
The clock strikes 12, fireworks all throughout the city welcome in a new year.
As we share our first New Years kiss together,
This moment frozen in time with full realization that we would never have to feel the same hurt from those who we were with just a year before.
No more false I love yous, no more half effort.
No worry of jealousy or anger, immaturity.
The beautiful moment signifying something new, safe and free.
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Today we play ‘Have a Little Faith In Me’ and I love seeing you smiling,
It’s full of hope and excitement.
Making snow angels in the backyard or snowboarding at the resort.
Snow ball fights and sledding.
Gaming all night or binge watching Greys Anatomy,
Marvel vs DC comparisons, taking our pups Daeny and Brady on hikes.
Life is good finally
Finally we can be who we are,
With no one to hold us back from becoming who we are meant to be.