Never hurt someone who’s only intention was making you happy.
When they showed up to a house that was broken glass everywhere, after seeing the person they love slamming their head against the floor.
In the end no matter what you do,
The wrong one will only use you for a temporary happiness until they get bored or scared.
And in the end you’re just the idiot who gave their all and ended up more broken than when you met them.

I wish we could’ve met later…
Not when everything was crashing down,
When everything never made sense.
I used these words with someone who didn’t fully understand them.
And I also used these words with her…
The girl who laughs with me all hours of the night,
The girl who cheers me on when I’m playing video games and shows nothing but being proud when I win.
The girl who sings and dances in the snow and the rain because its magical.
The girl who loves watching movies and nonstops talks through them like I do.
The girl who came in when I was at my lowest,
Smiled and showed me it can be okay.
Now we play video games together and kiss each other off to work,
Studying for my ged while you study for college.
We challenge each other but also can be kids at heart.
The universe is harsh and cruel,
Yet somehow the right person comes along after all hope is lost

Who knew,
The little things you do.
Mean so much more than have come before you.
To my surprise,
We got matching red & black shoes.
And you got that red & black hoodie to match mine.
We’d gone our separate ways before,
Yet here you are and I love you all the more.
From best friends to now lovers,
You smile and my heart skips a beat.
Somehow I can’t help but feel that we were always meant to meet that one day walking down those halls

We game
We laugh
We joke & even cry.
Always goofy friends with endless hours talking away and laughing even if the video game frustrates us..
Yet suddenly one day i noticed the change in your voice, it was more nervous high pitched.
We started talking about relationships,
Now we FaceTime before going to bed,
Talking about the what ifs.
We look out for each other,
Noticing when somethings wrong…
I think that maybe this time…
I hope this time,
The universe answered my prayers,
And she’s the one.
Of course we are both worried about the what if we break up and it’s hard to be friends again…
That worry comes to mind yet here she is…
Telling me it’s going to be okay, she’s got my back like I have hers.
Now it’s the plane ride over and she’s in my arms
Gently stroking her hair and she snuggles closer to me,
Safety.
The one thing we’ve both longed for.
She sets up her PS4 and we game till we want to watch a movie.
“It’s going to be okay, even if it’s a lot to handle sometimes. Life does that, challenges us.”
She falls asleep so soundly and peacefully,
With her nestled in my arms I too drift off.
I love waking up next to her, as she smiles every morning telling me she loves me dearly
Maybe this time the universe is indeed kind,
We both longed for this,
The safety and peace we never had before.

The hardest part….
Was saying those words…
Fists clenched and holding back those burning tears…
“I forgive you…”
And I realized that regardless of how much I was hurt and still hurting, it was time to let go.
Maybe the ones I still love and miss, the ones I care about did and said the things they did because in their minds there was no other way….
They’re human too, maybe they’ve been hurt enough too through out their life…
Those words were spoken aloud and I felt a relief,
Like the pressure dispersed the heaviness evaporated.
It’s not all at once, maybe I’ll have to say “I forgive you” a hundred times a thousand…
Eventually I know…
All the agony, the pain, the hurt the pit in my stomach feeling, the flashbacks, the echoing voices….
It’s all a part of the journey.
I forgive you.

My soul burned in that fire.
The rest of any happiness,
Any hope.
As the fire growled and roared,
My body  escaped…
But my heart and soul burned in that fire