It’ll be too late before she realized
That I could’ve done it

I pushed her as far away as I could.

At one time,
I believed I could do great things.
I actually started to dream and hope for better outcomes.
Because she helped me become more.
Now?
I know what I am what I always will be.
So I’m going to back,
I mean come on.
It’s not like I deserve being happy anyway,
All that hope those dreams just gone, she took them with her.
All because I didn’t want to lie or hide anymore

I know now that one day I will die,
Sudden and quick.
And I know that in this life I was meant to find you but never call you mine.
I’m too messed up, too damaged and too broken and you’ll always try to save me.
I can’t let you do that…not without losing yourself.
I love you, more than you know and I’ll never stop loving you.
Choose him instead of me,
And hope it was the right choice because I will worry everyday if it was…
Because I can handle that and I don’t want to put your through that…

Creating the perfect wedding was only possible being inspired by you.
The details have you hidden in between and all they could say was it’s perfect.

I know now,
I lived the most I can.
I loved and it wasn’t enough.
I know that she will be okay.
I know that I loved her,
And I know that it’s time.

Sitting in a chair with a coffee in one hand at a breakfast restaurant , the sun was shining and everyone was walking by going about their everyday life.
Just as I was about get to leave I heard your voice,
“hey Josh”
I turned around and saw you there smiling,
Even though I knew something was wrong.
You didn’t need to explain you sat down immediately and we sat there in silence as if we were honoring a loss.
He had broken up with you because we were all supposed to meet to discuss our lives together.
When you’d finally told me, you tried to leave.
And I responded with
“I have loved you from the moment I met you, everyday I wanted to be a part of the world you are in. I was an young and stupid idiot who never could get control of their feelings or emotions, but you I finally saw that it was possible. And that anything is indeed possible. I look at you and you are the strongest and bravest person I know. I’ve loved you when I was able to hold you in my arms. I’ve loved you from afar when you’d left to find yourself again. And I will always love you no matter what.”
She smiled,
“Can we just run away? Can we just go?”
And just like I woke up.
Back to reality where I know I’ll never be able to call her mine again