I decided to ride the slide sideways

Letting my feet hang over

And one edge guide my neck

I went straight down for a second or two

But with my eyes to sky
I didn't worry

Rather, I just enjoyed the view

Duly noted
and
show boated
A cross of
what you need
And what made
your belly bloated

Secretly promoted
Enthusiastically gloated
All for a piece of metal
Cold and gold coated

Humbly devoted
Bold Italics posted
Only to line the ranks
Heavy and revolted

Pepsi
and
Pop rocks
Shoved
in a mouth
Just to end up
Exploded

Theres a circle cycle of sides to the self of me

Standing in the middle surveying my surroundings

Noting each application and the consequences that apply

Maybe I'm simply a hedonist
Weighting for worn out pleasure centers to take a flame

Or an optimistic pessimist
Citing my self for the blame  

My humanistic approach has lost appeal

Defying my superego
And hierarchy of needs reel

Stuck in Erickson stages
A psychodynamic underground war rages

There's a linear graph
Self sided to me

Maybe I'm projecting all my insecurities
And taking my abnormalities
Out on maladaptive poetry

Even in certain circles in certain minds
in certain frames at certain times
We can't know what's true
And misconstrue can ring like
Miss you too

Self titles
Reign demeaning
And a finished product
Watched like a B-Rated pre-screening
Fed my gray matter
But the rest of me is depleting

Craig Morgan's playing baseball
Elliot Smith in the background screaming
Drinking OJ, it's how the Kardashians got there money,
Nothing good even came from the cover, trust me it didn't.

"She's in your hands now
Treat her like a Princess
You gotta respect her mind and her body"

"Welcome to Shaboom Shaboom"

I'm a circus on a sinking ship
I asked the clowns to walk to plank
But the jokes won't quit

Yellow balloons
Big noses
Red shoes
And squirting roses

The laughs from ashore
Rival the tides
Coming in waves

Left by my own side

The bow is starting to crack
Under the pressure of the lion
Jumping through its fiery hoop

The shrouds once held tight
Now they are fraying
And starting to droop

An iceberg would be welcomed but we are in hot water

Not even a shark insight
I've been leaking blood

But still not a one to bite

A little Jesus sort
Spaces between clout
Effort lost
Split the cost
Inconvenient doubt

A little Zorro like
Masquerading whip
Body welted
Disguise melted
Self prescribing quip

Risk and Pain
It's all the same
Self Imposed or Not

Let it go
Take it slow
Maybe then you'll have a shot

Refined, I'm sweating gasoline
Set myself ablaze
Just to light the cigarette of my dreams
My natural state has changed
But hasn't stopped getting in my way
Takes a drink to strike an ember
Stagnant black glowing amber
Cooking my assumptions with timidity  
Chaotic pieces tempered into
Wavering unpredictability
Directionless enmity
Enemies at wind
Cooled to harden
Forced to torch again

Shimmer glitter

Watch it shine

Can feel it coming

In waves down my spine



Glimmer thinner

Dressed to the nines

Geometric shapes

Laid down in lines



Bruised dark purple

With a deep heavy blue

Pacing back n forth

In thought without a clue


A streak of yellow glow

To color in your hope

Haven't left dock

But you're rocking my boat


Sea sickness

In a quickness

Heaving over edge

Singing in your praises

Lyrics to my pledge


Nauseous state

Unbecoming death

Sharpened pungent aches

Low beneath my breast


A past time this,

Giving away my breath


Shimmer glitter

Wrapped up in twine

Can see it coming

A sign of the divine

Postmortem, precoitus
Precarious promiscuity
Pantomiming presumptions

Enriched Enouement
Envying earthquakes
Empathetically evolving

Natural naivety
Needing negligence
Nymphomanic nodding

Instrumentally insane
Insinuating innocence
Immobilizing imagery

Sarcastically singular
Sacred succulent
Swallowing Satan

Impromptu reminiscence,

You said you bled black
But even the spot where you would park
Is shimmering in rainbow
complexion

How vexing it is for you to hear
Every time you attempted to
smear
You simply left shine

Occasionally the mask we wear gives away more than our face ever could

And the hammer to break the box that reads "just in case"
Is,not hidden, in your left side pocket

What you want is yours when you believe you deserve it
In fact you already have it
You've just forgot where you last set it

I've got the taste of Black Cat firecrackers in my mouth
Tongue trapped by
Exotic fruit instead of cheese  
Now nothing has a taste

The truth is the truth
Even if it's a lie
In misconception,
Lurking nearby,
Is a revelation
From which no one can hide

I'm on pins and swallowing needles
My every word has taken shape of mummified Egyptian beetles
Heavenly resembled bandage
Aiding in my rebellion to decomposition
Bound in fragmented memories
They're keeping my skin whet
Dying  flesh
With a born again mind
What I couldn't conquer with death will live on in spirit

I shake with every cell
Oxygen does not easily flow
Dancing in indiscretion
Inhaling every woe

Cancerous to nose
Infected by smokey lips
Adorned in selfish prose
Doctored with defying quips

Acted out in Fable
Characterized in yellow stone
A sure thing to bite
Pieces lost in clothes  


Hiding in a wake
Eyes of goopy pus
A manmade offense
The anti-verb of us

It's as if you've never learned
The difference between yourself and what's wrong
Nothing has a meaning but aiming to please
Your very essence
Is in messure
Of self-displeasure
Forearms toned and defined  
From turning tables
And grating the rinds
While the rest of your body is starved of nutrients and sun
Cauterized your lips closed
When you tried to swallow it whole

I don't like to fight
I don't like to compete
I ramble on
I'm not very neat
I spill ****
Half pick it up
I'm drained
I don't really get what you're saying
I'm tired, you don't get it either
I'm sick of explaining
Everything's exciting at first
Then dulls out quick
Your words are *******
But you think your slick
Instead of working that dollar
Go buy a brain
Because
You'll end up leaving
As soon as you came

How I get tangled in myself
Like fear mirroring love
Reaching and making contact
Only to get cut

A disillusioned illusion
What marks two eyes
That are murky sea glass stains
Bags that don't leave with sleep
Kisses from life
Sharp nose
Centered forehead crease
A wariness not one does
Dare to speak

How I get tangled in myself
Like fear mirroring love
Reaching and making contact
Only to get cut

A roundabout paved
A single stormy wave
Which incapsulated
The most rogue of my brains
Ever since I've followed
I've been taken in spades
I can hear  cement
Cracking in my name
Dirt is more natural
Yet lacking in traction
To this day I'm defined by this slipperiest of action
A Faction  a singular piece
Turned my elbows from dust to contingent visceral grease
A twist of a spin in a moment can release
Quickly I am burdened for my aim is to please

Death becomes you,
So modest and frail
Caressing Last Rites
Laid out in Braille  

Wearing a gray suit
Free hand pulling the hem taut  
Clunky black shoes
Hair tied in a knot

Distress's mistress
With barren lips
Lust glistening from her eyes
Cleverly drips

Mouth opened just enough
To notice the absence of sound
Seized words  
Left in impound

A last little twitch
Consumes an entire room
Giving away spring
Before the lilac had a chance to bloom

I'll always be there  
Even on the bad days
When I don't want to be for myself I'll be there for you
Waiting
It could never be a waste of time
So I wait and wait and wait and wait and wait some more
Living for what I love  
Not made to change only to understand, to level up
Hoping you can feel it from afar
During the times you can't look at yourself
You'll know someone loves you
Someone cares
For the thinnest half of a chance that could ever bring you comfort
That's why I'll always be there

A whirl of a wind
Memories start to spin
A reel of time
A piece missing
It might be a chunk of my brain
Maybe it was fried or never there
Maybe that piece is you
My energy is pulling me in a direction I can't go
Grabbing and stretching every bit of my existence
The resistance alone is exhausting
Consumed by daydreams
Lost in thought
Constantly
Trying
Tiring
Millions of times everyday I've attempted to disband  
The very fulcrum that moves the winding wheel
That ticks and ticks in your name
I'm absolutely in love with it
Even though it's driving me insane

Decaying composition  
Fickle and forlorn
Drinks a meadows wishes
Blows a hollowed horn

Shells of seedling cases
Crisp and in a crunch
Steals an ears attention
Is welcomed, not so much

Worm with fattened ends
Darkens to the dirt
Wanting in some privacy
So he can do his work

Cylindrical dudgeon
Dug beneath my feet
Crumbles the earth below
Giving to conceit

A shroud of mystery
A misty
Ungodly stench
Raises my nose in mourning
As my feet fumble to a bench
There I rest my body
From loves deadly kiss

My cheek lye
Washed and barren
Hands without a home
Pierce through my holy sleeve
Stretch and crease and pull
Clawing there way out
Entangled like a fool

Twig echoes
Snaps behind me
Still I cannot see
Only a breath
On my neck
Thickened and ghostly

A chilling touch
Rests at tips lengths of my shoulder
Though my chest grows warm
My rest is drastically colder

You're my point of reference
How I know I exist

Deliverance and dead seas
A dusty ocean breeze
Land fills filling lungs
Unaware galvanized charms
A set of rusty rugs

A dirtied coppered fray
Left to steal the day
Untangling what stayed behind
To follow close in line

Dehydrated angler fish faces
Upon a Many forgotten places
With even older chests
Once a hopeless mess

Reaching air once more
From a dry and cracked up floor
Bones to be revealed
A judgement now appealed

Sitting here
On my carpet made of wood
Rooted down
As sturdy as any tree
that ever stood
I've been shaken by wind
Cross water has left me still
Yet here I remain, Not burned for warmth
Or eaten by a quill

A gaggle scaling ice
With cautious grace
Cooling blood flow
Matching the temperament
Of hardened Adam's ale
Discomfort unseen
Unaware of the dangers they befriend
If only I could learn such skill
My fleshy body is fiery
As is my will
I tried to follow
Only to fall in
Conceited with human flaw
Swallowing crisp death
Holding hands with panic
Exchanging  youthful banter of woe
Birthday candles cannot out glow
Queen of the mountain
Eroded by natures charms
Tactful is she
Denials next move
To scam an eager mind
Dormant in life's winters thrill
Leaving my body stuck in time
Gray and blue and still

He was a thief of the utmost malicious kind
He stole my heart
While he seduced my mind
His words melted my ears
He kissed my eyes blind
His skin numbed my hands
His taste destroyed my insides
He smelled of desired illusion
He took my senses for quite a ride

Once I was subdued sedated untwined
Fueled by the desperation of heartache he made love to the night
With a beat in his pocket
A stride to the right
His spirits lifted
With no regards to mine

Stuck in winters cement
Got a bright idea
But can't seem to commit

I was holding a tornado in a jar
Lid on as tight as I could *****
I heard the glass start to shake
Like a window, but I didn't think circles could shake,
I thought they were sturdy
In the roundest of sense.
I could've let it loose
Watched cards fly around.
But pieces of cardboard never have a choice. Let just fall where they may.

My brains where it rains
Acidic and rudely natured
The lighting is kind
I, a professor of emotional nomenclature
Classify, define,
File away
Brown leaves that blow a way to defy
Tree roots eating countryside
Rural deceit
Running to grow, left breathless and incomplete
A lover of storms lost in its throes
Slowly destroyed
With each gust
Pieces escape this place
Until there's no reality left

I find some simple relief
In my sullen silence
Snuggling with grief
Squeezing my fists for hours
Followed by 30 seconds of release

My peace of mind
Has been smashed
Into a million
Sand like pieces

My hippocampus
Is stuck
On repeat
A need for you increases

I found some simple relief
I know time is limited
So I'll make this brief
I've been living in this gray for so long
They've crowned and named me chief

As I danced into a flowered sea
My spins consumed space and time
Each whirl sang "whoosh"
Dirt flung about new finds

An archeologist of selfish kinds
Fossilized in feat and pride
Each further from the truth
Perception left beside

I kept about, my eyes did lie
Everything began to melt
Deluded happiness formed in whole
Willingness was all I felt.

Dusty sky
Grounds taken assault
Fireworks going off
And we're all at fault

Running into locked doors
Making fists
Bite my tongue
Hold back my own wrist

Causes what is life
When it all starts to switch
It's all broke
Still see no need to fix

Windows shake
At the will of bass
Move my hips
Squish my face

What's this taste
Salted rim
Dressed in black
Speech is grim

Taking steps
Left face then about
Pull my hair
Live in the clouds

It can't rain
If your looking above it
Ignore the atmosphere  
Forget all about it

Wear some boots
Stomp around
Ain't no feeling here
It's all blocked by the sound

If just for a moment
You could forget who you are
Could live the opposite
Breathing in tar

The world would be at a stand still
Milled in movement
No space to breath
No spot for improvement
Always the teacher
Never the student
Who wants to be told what they already know
Rather freeze in weather
Breathe in the snow

Icicle eyes
Blue lips
Keeping shaking baby
Then nothing can slip

I can't pretend I don't care anymore
I'm going to burst
My heart is bulging
And this ache is the worst

You'd be doing me a service
If you pulled it straight out of my chest
Dug it out with spoon
Or dodged a bullet
Smack dab into my breast

Maybe, if you prefer,
You could take the less invasive route
And extract it with a hook down my throat

Maybe, if you prefer,
You could use demolition
Lots of TNT
That would be "Dyno-mite"
To quote my favorite quote

You left me wounded
But you should've left me dead

You told me that you loved me
But that was the last thing to me you said

Meeting you was emotional suicide

When we slept together
I should've done it with an open eye

******* clad
Posed asexual
Yellow nails
Chipped tooth
Nickel sign
On a kissing booth
Tip jar empty
Unbroken silence
Passing steps
Concrete violence  
Feeling absent
Mindful submission
Breathing fast
Mindless permission
Wasting away
One cosmetic at a time
Willing to please
At the drop of a dime
Modeled molded not given a choice
Brainwashed punished pushed to give in
Waterboard torture
Taken with a grin

Can you not hear me? I swear I hear the same
Maybe just a fools echo
Playing a lonesome game
My eyes starts to swivel
My body begins to shake
Lying naked
in this feeling of crushed
I've tried running
It's become too much
I can't hide I can't resist
My heart is burnt to a solid crisp
Embers leapt
Wrapped in my bones
Dandelions crept
Waiting for home
Holding memories
Embraced tight
All I have left
In the pale moonlight
Love songs ****
None else will suffice
A blanket spread
in fools paradise
Can you not hear my call
Is it all made up?
I can't give up
I can't let go
I write in curses
And sing in woes
I can't give up
I can't let go

This is **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this is ****

Don't quit
Don't quit
Don't quit

This is **** this **** this is **** this **** this **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this **** this **** this is ******* ****

Don't quit
Don't quit

This is **** **** this **** **** this **** **** this **** this is **** this **** this is **** this is **** **** this **** **** this **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this is **** this is **** **** this ****

Don't quit

Words like radioactive waste
Your mind is flooded
Intentions displaced
Desperation has taken
Root
Tangled up with the strings of your muscle
Causes the dips in your chest
Along with the deep cracks in your skull

Shot an arrow where the earth meets the sky
Dug your hands in the hole
Started to pry
Covered yourself in the dirt and darkness and never stopped for a moment to ask yourself why

Seeking company a constant
Skin starts to eat itself
When left alone
But never get too close
With more slides than a trombone
Just enough to see a body from your corner view
As long as it's not just you and you

The frosted grass reminds me of you
Like most things do
Frigid but beautiful
Cold but lively
Lacking itself but promising
Potential is a dangerous quality
Because once the grass thaws  
Once it's vibrance and summer texture
returns
Everyone will forget that it was once frozen

A birds song echoes throughout a chilly winters night
Flightless with an everlasting dream of the sky
A tune more beautiful than the dawning of a new try

A staunch ache a craving of a dream
Creating a delicacy
Sorrowfully gleamed
Moonlit distress paved in silver beams
A spotlight of romance
Held in high esteem

A love made up
Spreading wings once more
Torturous dissatisfaction dances with such allure
Habitually choreographing  
A compromising score

A birds song echoes throughout a chilly winters night
Flightless
With an everlasting dream of the sky

Words! Words! Words!
What are they

Unlived dreams
Unrequited love

Worn desires
that fail to die

Miscommunications

The very fruit of sorrow
fermented in twine and woven onto
innocent eyes

Does any word hold value
In a world made of steel and rust

Where ******* dreams thrive
And love is brewed with angel dust

Where actions are spit polished
Derived from conveyor belts

Where plastic is iced stiff
All the rest is good enough to forget  

A kind word blossoms with potential greater than the destruction of man

Yet, words what are they

Do we even know

Or use them selfishly
To ease our own pain
To create our own peace of minds

Words like a million pennies
All have value but waste away

Egoistical is thinking everything is made to please you and if it doesn't it must be bad.

Always wondering
I wish I knew your first name
Until then live well

Routine fell wayside

Lost in time

Normal traces new sketches

A corner I've never seen

Leaning against scratchy walls

Scrapes my arm

Will my mind, never rests

Spring like shapes

Boing out of my ears

Lost in translation

Springing up new fears

Spirals with timid edges

Wrapped around ribcage

Spinning while I stand still

Indian burn covered body

Lungs smuggling air

But soon to get caught

Leaning against scratchy walls

At the speed my brain starts to rot

There is an upending resistance
That is my equivalent in every way
Energetically we are all related
Some us just feel more remorse
Which is noble only in the most human of ways

A love birthed from fame
Nothing penetrates the smooth skin
Of an ever tempting dame
No breeze to blow a ships sails
Only diamonds piled on rubies
suffocated in trunks and in pails,
Buckets but more romantic in name, Satisfaction in unsatisfactory gain
That howls at the moons as it transforms into tangible bane
Journey for the hunt predesigned to ****
And with dawn rises the most forgetful of will
Enamored by the chase
For misery has never been able to keep still

Ignorance has a certain luxury
Sometimes it is comfort over growth
But humans are amazing creatures, dangerous at the same time, we can grow accustom or comfortable to any situation the adjustment period is what terrifies most
What do we sacrifice living being led by fear?
Everything works until it doesn't
That's why it is important to become acquainted with your heart it tells you everything you need to know.
Brain is not intended to over rule your pure heartfelt desires but to create a path for them

It's a sellers market
And all I've got to sell is myself
I'll start with the tip of the top
And dye my mop
Move down to the brows
Make them small
Emotions leased
I'll make my lashes long and
My lips greased
Brush red on
Glowing cheeks

It's a sellers market
And all I've got to sell is myself
I'll start with the tip of the top
Make my I.Q. drop
Thoughts and opinions
On lock
Not one to be released
Laugh when I'm told
Give a smile and wink
Whatever I do
Promise not to think

It's a sellers market and the markets low
Cheap deceit
Given in truthful blows
Tried to leave
But what's left I don't know