You've left me breathless
Silence is my fortress
And If I step behind me
The hands on the clock will spin uncontrollably
Along with my head
My eyes would look like the Cat on a cuckoo clock
Frantically aware of each passing hour

Impromptu reminiscence,

You said you bled black
But even the spot where you would park
Is shimmering in rainbow
complexion

How vexing it is for you to hear
Every time you attempted to
smear
You simply left shine

Occasionally the mask we wear gives away more than our face ever could

And the hammer to break the box that reads "just in case"
Is,not hidden, in your left side pocket

What you want is yours when you believe you deserve it
In fact you already have it
You've just forgot where you last set it

i'm a 30 year old male
that can't watch Forest Gump
without crying at least a dozen times.

i'm a sibling of 5
that only sees or speaks to
my siblings on holidays or family events.

i have no formal secondary degree
with stamp of approval
or specification in a field of study.

i know that cigarettes will **** me
the sun will do the same
but i enjoy those things.

i'm a 30 year old male
with no prospects of a life
or any idea of how to create one.

i only know, i am alive.

i can't stand the behavior of most people
but i love everyone, and try to forgive
because i know not their demons

i hate that i hate.
i hate that i am not as forgiving
with myself with the life that i've lived.

i think of what my life could be
outside of my life that is
and i lift away in dreams

i think of killing myself while addressing
daily responsibilities.  
moving one load of laundry to the dryer
becomes "this belt feels stressful and the buckle is harsh
upon my adams apple"

but cold nickel and leather remind me of such contrast
so cold. so warm.

i'm a 30 year old man, and i realize that age is only
significant to those that have not done so.
but i still cry at odd moments.

i'm a sibling of 5 that feels no love.
at christmas, buys the best most poignant gifts
but still forgets birthdays

i'm educated in what matters
which means it doesn't pay
and i love how poor i am.

i'm a 30 year old man.
broke. single. nearly homeless.
and i have nothing but love.

i only know, that i'm alive.

God himself told me let him go
      Still I couldn't