sunk into my seat
melting in the ground
the wish that makes
you fear yourself
I lack the self respect
to control and contain
a section of insanity
seeping through my veins
fearing, sinking, falling, patience

I wanted to fix you
I think I really did
Or at least I tried
I loved you more than her
I think I do
Or at least I once did
I carried you further
Than anyone
And you'll look back
To forget me
My heart will ache here
As it does now
And I will miss your laugh
And your charisma
I'll miss your passion
And I'll never believe
You really loved me
Even though you tried
And maybe you did
I am sorry
darling I loved you

I used to think if you were writing for a past lover, you were an imbosol
How could you be so lost to be stuck on one person, stuck in the past
But now I am that imbosol
That terrified gut wrenching individual
That you can't feel bad for
Because I chose to give my love away in hopes that one day it would return to me

I write you
I write you a lot
I write you letters you'll never read
Poems you'll never see
I write to you, for you, about, you
But I don't ever write for me
You see, you were my muse
And all I have left of you
are memories

It takes a great deal to be happy
Yet only one disappointment to be sad
I can only imagine a life
Where we didn't hyper focus on the bad

Is it the anger, pain and loss in our lives
That we so greatly turn our heads to
Trapped in a sinicle mind
Fear and sadness we succumb to

But a great life that we are given
to live and fail to recognize
The torturous thoughts we share
should be empathized

With time at a stand still
but as fast as the speed of light
Why do I wait for happiness
as if it comes overnight

And yet I sit in regret and discomfort
I hold on to my greatest nightmares
If all see is shadows and doors
This life will be purely unfair

A ray of sunlight fills my days
And I fail to see it in skies of grey
Is it that I've become submissive
Or do I let darkness swallow my day

In a world where I can assimilate
All the satisfaction that surrounds me
I would have to disregard
All the suppressed pain I have seen