I do self hating Things I often regret Like sharing my inner most secrets Hoping you do as you say When I tell you things You claim to quickly forget Until a Freudian slip And ALL my business Flows out of your lips How can WE build What you inconsiderably Constantly break? How much betrayal Is one heart created to take I've been told, I hold onto the past Well what did WE learn then To make things now last? How do I trust you When I barely trust myselves So afraid of looking back And terrified by what's next? Praying for tranquility In this peaceful hell
What I want is irrelevant to you What I need is paramountly Conducive to my peace of mind This ghetto, ratchet, chaotic Way you choose to exist, Is sooo Beneath the way I live my life I cannot be who you want or need Not when all you seem to be doing Is wasting your life, and my very Precious nonrefundable time...
Curb your ID Mantra prayed Many Many timez And more Than counted for Until about age preteen Then that N!$$@ EGO Juzt ztep ryght up& ztep Right, Right, Right Eeeeen Not Juzt Inn!!!
More often than usual Not knowing My own goings or comings Trying to focus myself Find balance in this Oxymoronic Tumultuous peace Angialyc beings This xoul ethers feast Longing to know myself Oh! to be at one con mi This double mynded Duality! Defining Sane's insanity Blezzing and a curse really There's no curing diagnoses For the anti doting me...
Hart O Kool KAP It's 5 Oklok in da mourning yuh see Duppy really really knew Juzt how to frighten me Way back when WE Had childish men2boyz tality To think someone like you Could ever overstand Deez nutz iz far bigga than yours If you ain't feeling it already You and yours will feel It soon come faster than A speeding bullet eventually You and yours gooooiiiiiin learnn
Age was and iz only one number Away from the pages of the letterz Written but not mailed out in time To resolve rumors Of your girl possibly knowing That at your very worst or bezt,this More than a woman hot like fire Was rocking the boat of not just anybody, decided to let dogs roam Back to queen of the same ****** mofoz who claimed they Couldn't breath without you The only reason my Romeo Couldn't just get hurt He had to simply die.
More than The object of afflicted affectionz Craving levelz Of intimate normalcy Comfortable pieces sought after To complete this puzzled peace Ever so grateful There's some form Of opaque transparency
Skalez unbalanced Since you've been gone Matrimonial scatterings Left searches searching For more weight To keep uz grounded Hurtful anger killing deathz Sincere Sincerely
Reaping the bitterness Of seeds sown Weather by my own hands or Curses trickling Down to seven generations All because disobedience In trying to at once Serve more than one Mastering none!
Cries for help Healing and good health Overcoming still from my past Being prepared to last And outlast Gracefully being guided To my purposeful purpose...
Angry for all The wrong reasons And right ones too Hurtfully hurt over Wanting what I can't have But desperately want Far longer than foreva And after the grave Haunting you and Only You
Mom do you love me? Of course I do, you are alive right? Why did you even have me? Are you serious luvbuggy? Ok! Let me put your little heart And very smart mind at ease You my love saved my life Just like your big sister You came along at a time I could've been dead. When I forgot how to You and your sister Showed me how to love To smile, cry and feel again So how could I not love The angels God sent to save me...
So caught up Wrapped in your warped Intentionally cruel Ingenious intentions Of me loving you While you're loathing me Couldn't see behind Your smile Betrayed by your lies Felt your hate Long before Judaz'z get semony ride No need to Pay it back or forward To this ****** bitchez ***** Muah!!!
Symbiotic affections InteRdependent Dependencies Loving to live dangerously Breading stiffeled Acrimonious apathy In how many ways and languages Can I tell the operator To clear your line? You need me Like I need you Lub to my dub Lively lyfelynez!
Although it is iladvised To always say what comes off The top of onez head It is so very important To be truthful to self While being true to otherz When speaking ones mind!
Back from absofauqinlutely No wear Love can't fix me I'm already dead Flatlined Faktz recorded Broken head in shattered hearts Mourning unfriendly Friend ships sailz That never quite roze To the occasions of strong winds Blowing brightless lightz Parting separated coupled wayz Misery needz not know bodiez Uncomfortable company Diplomatically setting anthemz When in Rome, rocking jewels Con Carmen mirroring Santanaz Thick Carmel bustdongz Pynk bandanaz Matching pynk Pears just doin What is done bezt! Juztuz kinda lyvyng!!!
I want to hurt you back Worse than you hurt me I want to hate you back For the hate you have shown me I want to see you dead even at times As you've wished me dead many times Fact is the only reason I can want To hate you, is because at some point Undeserving of my most sacred love Effortlessly willingly without prejudice I onpenly only gave you! Because we both are valid My perceptions of what really happened between you and I Matterss too...
Remember the day You asked me Who would want me now? Was about 6 months pregnant With our gorgeous oldest On bed rest getting big as hell Feeling alone, lonely and very ugly So sad, cause that was just 5 weeks after we got married Since then constant Verbal abuse, made me Regret the very air you breathe You set out on a journey To try hard to destroy me Good luck with that I pray your best existence Despite the hellish demise You wish for me...
Empty hearts and hands Foreign citizens In strange familial lands Gauntlets unseen Running from pain To devastating devastations Destinations unknown Bypassing liberation Literally Not confused By the chaos around me Fearing my own overstatings Leaning on understanding Far beyond rational practicalities I stand waiting in faith humbly...
When have WE Ever! At anytime Crossed the barriers Of each other's mindz Waking to the cold Sweat of my own browz Missing the warmth From your side of the bed Wanting to get to you By any mode Of transportation necessary With this ring this bestest friend Putz Da Zhe in Wifey...
Let's get one thing straight You don't know me Nothing about me So you cannot miss me and please Mizz me with the dumbfauqery Of you loving me because your Wordz are more lymp Than your aktionz!
Coming for my mind Didn't plan on Running into me Allow the illumination Of proverbial foolishness This Goddezz on da ryze Look beyond my eyez Respekt this Monalyza'z Smilez...
Strolling mental valley's Of decision Burying deep inside myself These subconscious shadows Catalytic conversions Of growers growths haven No stagnator'$ hell!
Mid morning Awakeningz to the sounds of drops on windowz amidst the angst of longitudinal infliktionz Rizing inching cruelly intended pleazurez deep in the spiral bindingz of a twisted spirituality preyz after praises of prayers headz held so high needz no occasion to rize yet and still motionless jirrations yeildz explosive erruptionz of spazmatic proportions. All contraktz signed eyez dotted and Teaze linez. I need you to tap my epicenter and tell me whatz at the core of my reigning? Do you mind me singing while you stroking? Aye Great Rizingz, water is wet when itz raining. Muah!!!
I do but I don't Want to fauq with you You have become Too familiar Too easily accessed Far too Comfortably available That's why I keep finding My way back to you...
You know All I feel, think, say and do There's nothing I can hide from you Just as simple as, there's no where Too far to run, walk, sprint, stroll Pace myself, tuck and or roll To get far far away from me...
Every **** time I find my sunglasses I loose them again Simply because They were cleverly acquired They really were never mine Purchased possession Every single summer Ugh every **** time
Luvly war Betwixed orchirozez Rizing exactly 5am To rocking boats Surfboarding drunkenness Stroking lust loves Calling for mornings Positions when We No longer Eating Soggy ANYTHING!!! We choose who and what WE want Needy needs met up with Tyrone, trying to sneak calls On prison payphonez Keep ya eyes on dem bad dues ****! Do they still exist, Payphones that is? Apologetic digressions Diabolicalizimz at my worsts bests Muzak makes me...
Heart, body,mind, soul and spirit Was so naked to you So inviting so open So innocent so pure So willing to love So honestly forever So only true, to only You!
Gave of my all The best I didn't Even knew I had I gave of my worth My life force and strength Had no idea I could Give what I hadn't Have for myself And all you gave In return was opened Hands not heart to Take and Take and Take...
Cried for and over you many Lonely days and restless nights Trying hard to forget The way you look in everything That fitz you just right Needing una mas tiempo To make sure you knew I know you can be the only one In this universe created To be loved by me and only me
Facade you say Interesting choice of words Since you know about pretentious Pretendingz very well Acting like you gave a fauq To get what you want Sending your PR rep Like that wasn't your game You know that hustlin backwards The muthafauqin front Trust me, what lies beneath the lies I am far more stupid than she Who tried so hard to warn me For whatever their in or Unintentional reasoningz I had to see for myself The real you, you couldn't Keep hiding akumatizing Through wordz who I see Then again believing Usually iz, resting in Pieces of Peace!!!
Some days this struggle Is unbelievable Trying so hard To just trust the God I know that I know to be very real And hold onto my faith Knowing when The spirit is guiding me to move and How to be patient no matter What Situations arise or how Bad things get While learning How patiently on the Most High To just wait....
Reminding myself daily They may not have known They may not have thought They may not have cared Or even remember the hurt Their words or actions caused Elephant memory and all Forgivingly forget for Loves progression's sake
Cunning this ham'z No porkyz pig'z Sloppy slopz Excellent and Amazing Na saw, county'z pride Of grandma's heart No Small fete Can't be sold or bought Honestly honesty Ain't always nice to hear It is our honesty That kept us friendly Never wondered why I've respectfully admired you Since way back when...
Always afraid I would die young Rushed my oldest Through her childhood So afraid of Her not knowing enough, or What she needed to know In case of my untimely death Didn't not know much When I was younger Don't ever think Anyone young knows much Let alone know enough Just wanted her to have More to start off knowing Than knot!!!
Tis a never mind That harbours Suicidal thoughts Killin ongle ono selves Toxic stinking thinking Held captive, myndz Abundant hearts do tell Loves love abandoned Issues, seen played out Interesting scenes Dare to exist behind Deadly sins, lusting Beastly sixes, wrath and all None other above Love to conquer Unadulterated honesty Searchingz beyond Sights of a neva myndful mynd!!!
A hoarders nightmare COVID 19 got the whole Entire world winter, spring And summer cleaning! I did hear often as a child That cleanliness is close to Godliness!!!
An awakening spirit Prisoner of will Enamored by A captivating morbidly resting soul Crystallized energies Prohibiting thermic effects Necessary to absorb Expended physicalities Trapped in amberesque Prehistoric mentalities Rebellious knowledge Attempting excavations Of unadulterated wisdoms Not acquired oratorical rhetoric Separated by oceans of Disparaging indespensible essences Passed through generations Heirlooms of distorted truth I embark on an eternal Internalized tumultuous journey Of protecting ME from ME!!!
Doing rat **** In ratcheting ratty Uneighbourly hoods Try looking carefully Before biting Eve, cause That one poisoned apple Made the whole lot of them Rotten to their core, yup Absolutely NO ****** good!