Don't want to hear
Another word about love
Your actions Don't coincide
Trust was breached
When you decided
I wasn't good enough
For the truth
So you gazed
Through the windows
While telling my soul lies
Lies I protected
To cover you shaming
Our family's pride
Far longer than forever
And after who's grave?
Mercy and grace kept me
When you left me for dead
That day...

Can't think of anywhere
I'd rather be
You embarked on this journey
Called life with me
For better if WE make
It through the worst
Ever situations
All to show and prove
That the test of time
Means love existing far beyond
Any earthly grave...

Viktoriouz
Already won
You loose and lost
No battle scarred hands
Wearing clean gloves
Polished whole armour
Never dented, stained
Nor appearing worn
God's grace abides!
Only one pair of footprints
To be found!!!

I will bear
New mentalities
I will raise
New awareness
I will see
New determinations
I will be
Greatness discovered
I will have
Strength and courage
I will become
A whole transformed beast...

Never hate or hated you
Mostly hurt turned anger
From betrayal
Through the things you'd do
Secrets told you
That you had to tell
Caused lying to resort
Intentionally
We both hid it well.

You are angry at me for being me
For trying to protect my love that was
Being used abhorrently against me
You could've loved me
And let me love you unconditionally
As I stll and will forever do
You've used my love to fight for you
Because you've always known
It's expansive magnitude
I've always prayed for you
To first get to know you
You are so much grander than
Some of your thoughts of you
The hate you are trying so hard to give
Is dull in comparison to the love of God
I was blessed and charged to instill
That shines in and through you...

Be very careful
When you call
This heart your home
The irreparable damage
You do
If you so choose
May very well be the
Demise of your Own..

What im thinking
A penny couldn't possibly
Cover the cost of it
May be diabolical just a lil bit
Not really caring to give a ****
Even my give a fauq is broken
Yup second by second
Even minute by minute
I want to know
The cause and effect of it all
*** are we doing all this
Hustling for, if we still
Don't seem to have ****

I cannot
Possibly love you more
Today than yesterday
And yet you have given
Me so many reasons to
I woke to this gift
Of living and loving
This present once more
And adoration of the
Piecez of my peace
Found in the insane
Sanity of longing to be
Held fisrt, last, and only
Closer than close to you.

I won't see you slip
If you don't watch me falling
And say or do nothing
In my supernatural powers
To prevent it
Love me for me
IZ  my forever plea
Weather you in a box
Or rippin and runnin
Theze streets!
No perfection as perfectly
Created as she who've known
Not the zkarz of feeling jaded
In itz own image and likeness...

Reigned through much
Together and apart
Sure losing cool points fo dis shyt
Trying to be there be down
For one good reasons to cause
Dedicating dedications
Corny **** like, Assalam Zouj
Just hit you to say
Miss you, can't stop thinking of you
Beloved Only One For You
Is ME and ME for You
Mek mi tel yuh dis straight
Patience ah di virtuous zhe
Not just inside your brain
Eviction from mental beds
Can't get thiz orchirozez
Natural smelling tasteful visions
Out your clothes, sheets,
Out your muthafauqin head
Gibraltaz rockz stay cool
Hottest days of summer
Eight seasonings love
Same emotions turned feelingz
My ***** blezz all da way up
Four Four!Neva Eatin Soggy Waffles
Double up when you leggo
My egg-go
Wack silly **** like dat
WE dying to death laughing
Gems cracking da *** up
On some real **** though
I'm grateful all in all
You, is and always will simply B-U
Nam Habibi! Walaikum Assalam!
What can Da Goddezz do you for
Mi amore y Corazon
Kyaf yumkinuni khidmatuk???

What is sad
Is that someone else
May benefit from ALL
The time I wasted loving you
Hoping, wishing, praying
Begging, needing, just wanting
You to treat me the way I
Knew in my heart of hearts
I deserved, or at the very least
Treat me how you want to be
Treated yourself, or hell just
Treated right...

My life is in your hands
And you are playing
A dangerous game
On the throne of
My one and only heart
Not trying to be
Disrespectful at all
Just inquiring master
If I was born for
Any particular
Reason at ALL
The questions I question
Have?motives attached
To the mental frame of
A most earnest prayer
Because I really believe
In the powers of the name...

Eyes bloodshot and hurting
Still the tears won't stop falling
Struggling to forgive others
Because I struggle so very hard
To forgive myself and believe
That God has truly forgiven and loves even me...

Double doses
Quenching my every thirsts
Only daily bread
Earnestly prayed for
Or could ever longingly need
Food for my burning zoul
Feed me til I
Needingly no quiero mas
Surfacely speaking to my core
Knowing only
One thing's
Certainly sure
One mindedness
In We hearts iz why WE love
Is so Unbreakably strong...

Did I conjure you
Were you a delusion
Did your love not exist
Was it all a creation in my mind
Did WE not lay head to chest
Never eating soggy anything
Let alone waffles at our worsts
Best WE ever had
We loved you the most
Let you in to our inner sanctum's
Deepest parts, our existentialism
Did WE not bear, carry, and birth
Where truthful lies did hurt
Honesty's unforgiving sting
Was none of it really the truth
You could've just gotten
What you initially came for
You didn't have to pretend
Cause watching your act
Way back when is what
Made me and kept me
Slipping, Tripping, and Falling
For the illusion you gave of you.

Awakened
To an awry feeling
Something
Being not quite right
Not knowing what
Could be wrong really
In the dream
Before I woke
I was engaged
In delightful banter
With edifying  folk
Still not sure
Why fear's stolen
This morning
The peace in
How I awoke...

Twenty plus years
Knowing of me
Have noooo idea to care about
Who I am
Never once taken seriously
Always not good enough
For what exactly?
Memo received
For hoes
There's juzt no luv...

Took my heart home
Smell of vanilla wax burning
What am I going to do with u
What did I do without u
Before you met the me
You thought you knew
The day I met you
Questionable ones and twos
Mic checking mother fauqaz
Don't got da dj'z klue
Trying to figure out what's going on Betwix me and you
Ain't never been Nobody's Business But our own
There is better to come
That claim to fame it will be better I will be better
Not the second time around  
The very first time I looked
In your eyes I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt
I could see nobody else
If by chance
This is too good to be true
You knew who you weren't
Before you knew I loved only YOU!

Rearranging the thoughts in my mind
Remembering back to a Time Before I was angry and hurt
Hatefully hating me
Blaming myself rather than
Accept I couldn't change
What was done
Before I knew the  many ways
My heart could probably break
Or what my soul could take Rearranging thoughts in my head
Trying not to break
Around every mental bend...

On the edge of
Eternity my zoulz
Hanging in the balance
Howling to Libra moonz
Dem scaly fyshez
Fyzhing 4 zhe
Syrenz skreamz
Smitten mermenz
Mermaids all unda
Poseidon'$ trident
Trinityz rule
Mind, Body &Spirit aligned
Brought these deep sea thoughtz
To mine. Mindfulness sublime.
Skorpyoed heartz
Acknowledge your criez
Home iz where our Zoulz lay no lie!

You came knowingly
Fauqed up intentionally
Disregarding my life
My hopes, my dreams
My responsibilities
Running from
What your hands created
Hiding out in my peace
Ignorance begat
Ignorant choices
Xoul eating ultimatum
Distorted views
Aborted no mission
Leaving behind
No man, child, or woman
Massacres for thanksgivings
Your ladened basket
Came filled with lovely lies...

It's not easy
Living a Christ like life
God please I can't do anything
Without your guidance or help
Lord I'm not sure if
I'm doing things right
If I'm loving my neighbor
If I am as forgiving as I can
Especially wantingly needing Forgiveness for myself
I have no clue if my heart is pure
We ALL sin, and fall short
I know of that for sure
So how can I put my hands
To the plow and never look back
Boldly say for Christ I live
And Christ I die and seriously
Mean to mean it as I was taught?

I find myself
On the perpetual
Potter's wheel
Make me over again
Is my soul's song's plea
Longing to be whole
Every aspect of me
Walking a circumspect life
Is by far no easy fete
So for God I live
Cause Christ layed down his life
Without even knowing me!!!

The valleys of
The shadows of dying
Doesn't one bit scare me
Since grace and mercies
Renew daily for the
Protection of my peace
The living word assures
That I am a creature of worship
No battle scars to find
My sword of the spirit
Knows no surrender
Beyond humbled kneeology...

Trying to process
What I'm feeling
What's going on in my mind
Trying to know
What I'm knowing
Why is my soul so
Emotionally unfulfilled
Most of the time?
Needing to overstand
The despair I constantly
Stand under
Praying and hoping
That one day things will just be Better...

I can't show you
How heavy my heart is
Not even in theory
You could know the truth
How I cry so much
My tear ducts swell
With much more
Than regretful tears
Mourning choices
That could've yielded
Far better results
Than the ramifications
Left with of not loving me enough
To recognize and run from
Fauqed up unrequited love...

Hate me for
Who I've genuinely
Been to and for you
All the requests of your heart
Fulfilled by yours truly
Simply because I gave half of
f a u q
About what anybody else thinks they think or know about me whether from somebody else's mouth or my own Conversation's verbiaging trajectory!
Even your opinions of me are tainted
Who are you really?  You are not my Artist nor my art that I've chosen for
To be painted of me...

Have so many dreams
No illusive delusional
Cracked pipe thing
Entrepreneurship, buying, selling
Owning real wealth that
Spans and feeds and clothes
Generation's on generations
On G.E.N.E.R.A.T.I.O.N.Z!!!!!!!!

What are
WE handing down?
Heirlooms deceptions abounds
Giving out bibles
And Christianity murderously
While coining native
Kings and Queens savage
To steal OUR lands
In the name of their own crowns
Nieve hearts and minds
Couldn't see the wolves
So sheeply disguised
Herd only rumors of peaceful lies
Now building presidential boarders
After coming into OUR homes
They claimed to discover
Still while WE living in them
Only to keep US from
The stolen heritage
Of OUR OWN Birth
Rights, Rites, Writes.
Demanding that WE pledge
To their thwarted versionz
Through their demented visionz
Of Illiberal Injustices
For not one, not a few
Not even many of the majority
But FOR ALL!!!
Tingz dat mek mi go Hmmmm!!!

No sane person
Wants to invest
In someone, who
Does not invest
In themselves!!!

A thoughtful mind turns
Me all the way on
Sap as I am
I'm enamored in the sexiest ways
Intellect peaks my interest
I need to look
Into the windows of your zoul
And see the excitement
Of what you see in me
That I don't see in myself
And melt into your being
Relations are relational
When WE relate
Better to and with each other
My FLT4AATG valentymez

I gotta stay out my feelings
Red whines and hazy ceilings
Sipping that drip fom your lipz
My my my my my my my body
Been yearning for your shine
To brighten the darkest of knightz
Trying so hard to save them very
Same hoes, again captain
Save that ***** who never
Asked for your kind of savings...

Its a yearning
This loving lust
To once again
Taste the bitterness
Of your zoul
Taking
A morsel of your spirit
You know I can only
Enjoy you in doses
Binging would be sure death
A heavenly haven
My exhausted war struck
Heart
Will welcome one sweet day
What you call love is so toxic
I know I am not to blame, but
It is I who have yet to learn
Just how easy it is to
Simply let go and let God...

Adonis set trippin
Drunkin grownups
Turning tables in so many
Knowingly unknown wayz
Testing broken pressured
Pipelining crewz found no leakz
Glasses raised to pouringz only
No shoveling plowz
To loosen hazy snowy memories
Rocking and rolling through
Uneighborly hoods
Murdering unfriendly shipz
Clicking threes just might
Not get you home court advantage
How far iz to far,but wait!  
Who gon clean up this dog ****?
Of that *** phase, if not you?

Tried to be what you
Wanted of me
Put morals and faith aside
To be accepted for
The me you needed to see
Losing pieces of my peace
Trying hard for you
To love me for me
We are too far gone
There's no love lost or found
In this unwholly matrimony
We've become friendly foes
With barricaded hearts
Chained together
In our houseless homes
Afraid to go back to being alone
Petrified of unwelcomed
Possible hurt or pain unknown...

I am so lost
Can you help
Me please find
My puzzled peacez

No weapons of destruction
No full armor donned
No lyrics to sing or talk
My way out this hurtful harm
Breaking superficial surfaces
Building potential
With my barely bare hands
Screaming from within
Dis eased mentally
Fighting to survive
The best and worst
Parts of me
So you think
I think my **** don't stink
You want to judge me
You have no clue
That the same God in you
Is the same God in me...

Caught a fish two days ago
Fishing is very rewarding
I have decided
If I  am to be a looser at life
As some of my hateful
Supporters suggest
And suggested
I will be a happy looser
Since my choices are mine to make
Is being caught in a 22
For my sake
I just pray
The right decision is made
Because accepting responsibility
Means placing blame on no one!!!

The bottom of this world's
Barrel is far more crowded
Than could ever be imagined
Naysayers, back biters and
A whole lot of needy crab *******
No mothers no fathers to teach
Or show them better, has made
Most ***** in this barrel's peripheral
Shorter! Finding a way out gets one
Pulled down faster and harder.
So I've decided to tunnel through
From the bottom of this bottomless
Barrel that has tried to keep us under!

I feel so under qualified
When there are things
The Most High asks me to do
I'm always telling
My heavenly father
That I'm so broken
Asking are you sure
You want me to use?
I usually get the response of
If not you my beloved
Who would you rather me choose
And if not the broken
Who do you suggest I use???

Sometimes you want to go
Where don't nobody knowingly
Knows of your name
Governmental aliases
Inquire within
Deez ****** don't know
From whence you came
Please don't do me no favors forget me, plz, pls, please
Muthafauqer forking erase ME!
No limit to dem dolgerz
Trying to find benefits of
Doubting my own doubtful
Doubts...

Jumping into character
Assuming personalities
Befitting particular situations
Cameras lighting up actions
Selling souls over likes, favs
Friend requests and acceptions
Verbally diarrheaing via calls
Texting social media platforms
Hitting homes harder than a night AT
The Oscars ***** slapping comedians
Wondering before all this socializing
What in the world did mere Mortals
Do without trying to be famously
Pleasing every, any, and absolutely
No One??????????????????????

If I live
To my fullest today
Once I lay to rest
I'm contented
To not take
Thought for tomorrow
Since if I
Make it
Through the
Valleys of the shadows of
my subconscious deathz
And wake
To a brand new day
I get to do it ALL again
Betta! I'm grateful
For Every new and old day!!!

What does God want
For and from me
Why can't I seem
To live a sold out life
Completely and whole heartedly
What causes me to stray
What does separate our love
Sometimes day after day
When will I overstand and accept
That you heavenly father
Is the light, truth and the way
Trying hard not to straddle fences
To not live like lukewarm spewage
To not hear, depart from me
I do not even know of you
But we'll done, that glorious day
My faithful servant
The lamb's book of life
Is right this way...

I want to choose myself
I've needs, wants and desires
I too want my life to count
I want to know how to simply
Not be hated, or feel bad
About putting myself first
Place in my own existence
To be partly about me at times
I want better and I don't think
I should ever end my quest
In the pursuit of my own
Inner and outer peaceful joy
Of my latter day's happenings
Simply to lay down my life
For other's who may or may
Not be worth me hurting for
Since told by brother Bob
That everybody I meet or know
In my lifetime will, not if hurt me
Man listen even in my self hating
I myself have hurt me and even
Though I have paid handsomely
For kicking my own ***, Jim
I still can love me better
Than only I know how now
And far better than I have Mary!!!

I'm so broken
The shattered peacez
Of my soul hurt so good
Because when the clouds fade
I will be better for choosing
To choose the God in me
That first chose ME!!!

Christianity
Has been a dish
Served hot, cold and lukewarm
My entire existence thus far
Meanwhile, I just ever
Wanted to hold tight to
The peace I find in God.

It's my mind
I'm making the
Decision to loose
Try finding my mental
Sensibilities, you so choose
Trust it's blown
Long before you got here
Follow the trail of thoughts
All untraveled roads lead home
Guaranteed! Zhe left cluez...

Narcissistic parenting huh  
Teenagers are so full of ****
Y'all are so stupid such fools  
Sad reality
Been there before
Been angry and hateful and Standing in my own way
Thought about paying my mother Back for all the **** that she's done or not
Not realizing most of the **** did Was to survive
Not only Mentality wise
Mostly to save our lives  
Teenagers are so fauqin full of **** and they think they know everything
But it's come you coming to come
Ain't no song ever sung well
Till the fat lady done sung.