You don't want just all of me
You want me to pretend to be Something and someone I'm not
You certainly don't want all of me
You want me to forget that I'm a she
Who loves kissing passionately slow
But! Sometimes just wanna be
Handled choked and fauqed
Hard, fast and pounding
**** whipped ****, till my legs
Just keeps trembling
Begging don't stop now
You gently pull out and take a bow
For these blezzingz
Look how wide you opened
Yo mouth!!!

No weapons of destruction
No full armor donned
No lyrics to sing or talk
My way out this hurtful harm
Breaking superficial surfaces
Building potential
With my barely bare hands
Screaming from within
Dis eased mentally
Fighting to survive
The best and worst
Parts of me
So you think
I think my **** don't stink
You want to judge me
You have no clue
That the same God in you
Is the same God in me...

Counting the many
Blezzingz all around
Grateful to still be
In the land of the living
Grace and Mercy
Kept death at bay
Honestly just yesterday
At the windows and doors
To my very zoul, death came
By knocking once again
God's merciful grace
Covered another vehicle
My family was in
Great truly is your faithfulness...

Lip service means nothing
If out of the abundance
Of the heart
Actions reveal zero fiauqz given.
Shut da *** up when speaking to me.

Viktoriouz
Already won
You loose and lost
No battle scarred hands
Wearing clean gloves
Polished whole armour
Never dented, stained
Nor appearing worn
God's grace abides!
Only one pair of footprints
To be found!!!

Can't part
With my mind, soul, and spirit
Just yet
Still need
My guide
To come pass
Flying, walking, swimming
Could care lesser than less
Just get here
Juztuz been calling uz
To rest in pieceful reztz...

It's just your presence
It reminded me of less stressful
Far less complicated times
It really is just your presence
That brought these tears
And the joy of thinking back
On the nieve innocent blasts
We've had throughout
Not ever wanting to grow up
Those KB, ToyzRUZ  kids Yesteryearz...

Never hate or hated you
Mostly hurt turned anger
From betrayal
Through the things you'd do
Secrets told you
That you had to tell
Caused lying to resort
Intentionally
We both hid it well.

Learning to learn
Enough
From decisions
The first time
They yield unnecessary
Unfavorable outcomes...

What I want is irrelevant to you
What I need is paramountly
Conducive to my peace of mind
This ghetto, ratchet, chaotic
Way you choose to exist, Is sooo
Beneath the way I live my life
I cannot be who you want or need
Not when all you seem to be doing
Is wasting your life, and my very
Precious nonrefundable time...

Everytime I allow
Myself to let go
Interesting non happenstances
Always seem to occur
Everytime I let her out
Eorshnarfitiz can't get
From up under those
Bright sunny daze or
The silver lining of
Every gray,  natural days cloud.

Golden queendom
Proudly shining
Melinated jewels
Dropping gems
Tireless examples
I'm not responsible
For what you may
Or may not believe
It's simple, really!
Doing my bestest
To get some of this life right...
Concerned with ongle my ****** ****
Is Dat aiight?

Go please
Please leave me
Exactly the fuxed up way
You found me
Please I'm pleading
And begging please
Don't think my kind
As stupid or weak
Please love me
Or just let me be
Answers to prayers
Playing hide N seek
Rabbyt Whole deep
Muthafauqerz
Laughing at me
Praying I'm brought
To my knees
Got no clue
No chanting mics
Already there
Praying beyond prayers
Genuinely Lovingly
Accept me for all of me
Or Zimply! Juzt let me be.

Haven't told you
I loved you in days
Not even past
Our hunny mooning phase
You have know idea
How peaceful you rest
You think
I have no clue
You admire
The way I sleep too
Passionate thoughts
Of far longer than
A few forevermores
And beyond death
With you and only you
Nam Mi Corazon!

Did I conjure you
Were you a delusion
Did your love not exist
Was it all a creation in my mind
Did WE not lay head to chest
Never eating soggy anything
Let alone waffles at our worsts
Best WE ever had
We loved you the most
Let you in to our inner sanctum's
Deepest parts, our existentialism
Did WE not bear, carry, and birth
Where truthful lies did hurt
Honesty's unforgiving sting
Was none of it really the truth
You could've just gotten
What you initially came for
You didn't have to pretend
Cause watching your act
Way back when is what
Made me and kept me
Slipping, Tripping, and Falling
For the illusion you gave of you.

When have WE
Ever! At anytime
Crossed the barriers
Of each other's mindz
Waking to the cold
Sweat of my own browz
Missing the warmth
From your side of the bed
Wanting to get to you
By any mode
Of transportation necessary
With this ring this bestest friend
Putz Da Zhe in Wifey...

What fruits
Are you busy
Producing???
Not regretting
Regrettably barren
Unbalanced as it may seem
Growing to good enough
Leaving behind what happened
When WE were Unproductive as Hell
Just running around trying to be Busy
Numbing WE-Zelfz
WE Prodigals...

I'm so broken
The shattered peacez
Of my soul hurt so good
Because when the clouds fade
I will be better for choosing
To choose the God in me
That first chose ME!!!

Just to get out
Holding my breath from
This detrimental fresh air
Inhaling toxicities at
Anaphylactic proportions
When your suicidal thoughts
Are delusions of setting you free
Don't believe the hype through
Golden plated fronts
Weather we live or die
Somewhere every 24hrs
The sun has the ability
To rise and shine or not
And your skies can still be
Any shade of greyish blue you so choose

Rearranging the thoughts in my mind
Remembering back to a Time Before I was angry and hurt
Hatefully hating me
Blaming myself rather than
Accept I couldn't change
What was done
Before I knew the  many ways
My heart could probably break
Or what my soul could take Rearranging thoughts in my head
Trying not to break
Around every mental bend...

I can't show you
How heavy my heart is
Not even in theory
You could know the truth
How I cry so much
My tear ducts swell
With much more
Than regretful tears
Mourning choices
That could've yielded
Far better results
Than the ramifications
Left with of not loving me enough
To recognize and run from
Fauqed up unrequited love...

I cannot
Possibly love you more
Today than yesterday
And yet you have given
Me so many reasons to
I woke to this gift
Of living and loving
This present once more
And adoration of the
Piecez of my peace
Found in the insane
Sanity of longing to be
Held fisrt, last, and only
Closer than close to you.

Walked around
Smelling shitay
For hours
Didn't realize
Attached to the
Soul of my shoes
That repugnant stench
Trailing me was you.
Ugh toxicity'$ disdain
That thin line is no divide
Double dotted you multiplied
Hateful thoughts of you
That once regarded our loathsome
Love so muthafauqin high...

Focusing on the
Next level constantly
Being grateful
For the current path
Of life's journeys
Humbly blessed
This one life gifted me
Pressing toward a mark
Only I need, see...

How many ways are you
Ready and willing to love
Still waters of an inferno zoul
Volcanic ash reigning your entire world
Melting glacial iceberg smiles
Bedding venomous skorpyonz
Waking in Pheonix'z eagled eyez
Mmmmmmm such a tazty morsel...

People only
Treat you
How you allow
Teach me how
To love you
When you
Learn how
To luv2love Your  Truthz!

May I
Be worthy enough
To hide myself
In your peace
Far longer than
Just this moment
May I
Sojourn in your zoul
Far beyond just
This lifetime
Bmyndz far longer lifelines
May I
Stay just a while
To, by all means
Let the sweet smelling
Savorings linger
Only minds know
Where brains master plan
Is hidden pinky
Learn to love yourself
May I
Let you be you? Of course
As long as you let me be me

Adonis set trippin
Drunkin grownups
Turning tables in so many
Knowingly unknown wayz
Testing broken pressured
Pipelining crewz found no leakz
Glasses raised to pouringz only
No shoveling plowz
To loosen hazy snowy memories
Rocking and rolling through
Uneighborly hoods
Murdering unfriendly shipz
Clicking threes just might
Not get you home court advantage
How far iz to far,but wait!  
Who gon clean up this dog ****?
Of that *** phase, if not you?

Lord search my heart
Show me how to
Overcome  this hurtful
Angry disgraceful shame
Caused and allowed
Only by my disobedience
I take responsibility
Rather than placing blame
Be the lifter up of my head
Renew my passions for
What is right just and holy in your sight
Please Most High if you see fit
Reestablish  and restore
My place at the foot of the
Throne of Grace
Hold me in the palm of your hands
Only in your love
I find the only true hiding place...

Every **** time
I find my sunglasses
I loose them again
Simply because
They were cleverly acquired
They really were never mine
Purchased possession
Every single summer
Ugh every **** time

P.S I keep promising to replace them

I am so lost
Can you help
Me please find
My puzzled peacez

Hate me for
Who I've genuinely
Been to and for you
All the requests of your heart
Fulfilled by yours truly
Simply because I gave half of
f a u q
About what anybody else thinks they think or know about me whether from somebody else's mouth or my own Conversation's verbiaging trajectory!
Even your opinions of me are tainted
Who are you really?  You are not my Artist nor my art that I've chosen for
To be painted of me...

Methodical plan of escaping
Far away from this painful
Pruning.
Bruiser battered ego
No room at any inn
For wounded zoulderz
Impeccable smouldering
Behind evil eyez
Giddily welcoming innocence
Far more organized than I
This den of joy thieves.

Where do the skeletonz
In my closet go to hide
When I'm the one
Constantly opening the door
That illuminates them
Assuming credences
In confidence
What really lies in lies

Dey say I'm krazi
I've given
Far too many fauqz
And even that
Have been my
Muthafauqin prerogativez

Most High!
Forgive me for putting
Anyone and or anything
Above my relationship with you
It's not always easy
To completely trust and depend
Solely on you
Help me follow your lead
Like I expect my gems to even when
They are afraid and confused
About what's going to happen next
Help me to never again look back
To never again place anything or anyone
On the seat of the throne of my heart
All I am and will be, belongs to only you
Thank you for your love and forgiveness
For your promises over mine and all
Attached to me lives! Not my will
But yours for my life! I'm grateful. Amen!

GoddezzPPR!!!

You honestly think
I don't know how
To get rid of you
If I truly want
To be done with you?
Sadly mistaken
Unless I allow
You will never
Know the truth
And nothing but boo...

When this darkness
Comes over me
It takes me to
A lonely place where
I'm in a full room
Standing all alone
No empty seats
Barely walking space
No familiar face
No family to call home
No heart full of love
No one to belong to
Tricking for affections
All strays can do is roam...

No sane person
Wants to invest
In someone, who
Does not invest
In themselves!!!

A pig with wings
A horn you play with strings
A unicorn with a mermaid's tail
While megladonic sirens sing
Differ from the human mind
Is imagining the existence
Of these things.
Imagination is great
When turning nine
Since now I'm only eight...

Been here before
Lonely, but never ever alone
Fetal positionings
Unhelpful, unneighborly
Offering to help who exactly?
As though this partnership
Hasn't benefitted us both
Or rather this is now
And have been, since the
Very beginning, more about
Your company's policy
Than my family having
A place to call home
Been here before
Making another's house
My sanctity, my children's home
Apologizing like I'm wrong
Rendering to Ceasar what doesn't
Belong, simply because when in Roam!!!

What are
WE handing down?
Heirlooms deceptions abounds
Giving out bibles
And Christianity murderously
While coining native
Kings and Queens savage
To steal OUR lands
In the name of their own crowns
Nieve hearts and minds
Couldn't see the wolves
So sheeply disguised
Herd only rumors of peaceful lies
Now building presidential boarders
After coming into OUR homes
They claimed to discover
Still while WE living in them
Only to keep US from
The stolen heritage
Of OUR OWN Birth
Rights, Rites, Writes.
Demanding that WE pledge
To their thwarted versionz
Through their demented visionz
Of Illiberal Injustices
For not one, not a few
Not even many of the majority
But FOR ALL!!!
Tingz dat mek mi go Hmmmm!!!

Facade you say
Interesting choice of words
Since you know about pretentious
Pretendingz very well
Acting like you gave a fauq
To get what you want
Sending your PR rep
Like that wasn't your game
You know that hustlin backwards
The muthafauqin front
Trust me, what lies beneath the lies
I am far more stupid than she
Who tried so hard to warn me
For whatever their in or
Unintentional reasoningz
I had to see for myself
The real you, you couldn't
Keep hiding akumatizing
Through wordz who I see
Then again believing
Usually iz, resting in
Pieces of Peace!!!

I am a fake
A pure phony
Dying behind the scenes
Of unaccomplished
Accomplishments
Missing a love
I NEVER HAD
Living in darknesses
Of the unblind
Mortally combating
Serenity on the battlefield
If only of my own mind

Needingly wanting
Longing better for myself
No welfare lines
No astronomical wealth
No ***** births
Ex husband and baby daddy hell
No miscarried away
No praying to die
Just to get away
No mental holds
Finding my mind
Unbreakable as I am
I will get to my better life...

Cries for help
Healing and good health
Overcoming still from my past
Being prepared to last
And outlast
Gracefully being guided
To my purposeful purpose...

Tried to be what you
Wanted of me
Put morals and faith aside
To be accepted for
The me you needed to see
Losing pieces of my peace
Trying hard for you
To love me for me
We are too far gone
There's no love lost or found
In this unwholly matrimony
We've become friendly foes
With barricaded hearts
Chained together
In our houseless homes
Afraid to go back to being alone
Petrified of unwelcomed
Possible hurt or pain unknown...

My life is in your hands
And you are playing
A dangerous game
On the throne of
My one and only heart
Not trying to be
Disrespectful at all
Just inquiring master
If I was born for
Any particular
Reason at ALL
The questions I question
Have?motives attached
To the mental frame of
A most earnest prayer
Because I really believe
In the powers of the name...